Feel like I am living in a nightmare

[newnamesa]

Sorry if this is a long post but dont want to drip feed.
I live in a shared house in a housing co-op. For the last two years myself and family (and one other tenant) have been harrassed by another tenant. It has got to the point that I am on two types of medication due to this issue.
He was an aquaintance that showed up at my door asking could he leave his bike at my place, so I said of course. It them transpired he had been eviceted and asked to stay. As the house was very underoccupied I said of course. He was granted a tenancy, even though he was evicted due to none payment of rent/bills at his last place due to me sticking up for him as I thought it was only fair as he was street homeless and the co-op house was vertually empty.
Anyway since then he has inflicted a living nightmare on everyone else who lives here.
Ill feeling started off when the bills came in. He took my asking him to pay his share as a person attack and since then has sworn to make our lives a misery.
He assulted me about a year ago and the police did nothing. He sends long rambling abusive emails and texts. He has called me a sloppy bitch in an email that he sent round to the whole co-op. He messes around with the bills, getting the power company to delay issuing bills till they mount up and then claims he is not liable. These are just a few highlights of an ongoing campaign.
He has described his behaviour as 'psychological warefare' and warned me that he knows what he is doing. And he does, he is careful to stay just inside the law. (forinstance he no longer used my name in his abusive letters, small details like that, that I only find out when I go to the police that it counts as not addressed to me)
The housing co-op have been worse than useless and are doing nothing. Because I have never been in a relationship with him all the domestic violence services say its not DV. The police say the landlord should be dealing with it.
I am at the point of feeling utterly hopeless and can see anyway out of this.

• *[Edited by MNHQ to remove identifying info] **

I shared a house many years aho with a completely difficult and worrying woman... She used to leave notices in common areas saying:

' I'm watching all of you... Make sure you lock your doors...' and I hate all of you and you've crossed me one too often...

We were the nicest, happiest group of people before she moved in...

She was clearly not well...

We did a group approach to the landlord... He did give notice when we said, we didn't feel safe and we would move out if she didn't go and change the locks.

@newnamesa

Thank you for all the advice. I will def make an appointment today for the GP. I will aslo write a litte each day, that is a great idea as I am now compleatly overwhelmed with it and the lack of any cohearent response from the co-op has left us with no recourse. Its a miserable situation and has left me suicidal.

Poor you... My empathy, I remember how all consuming these type of issues are..

He's clearly not well... But this should not be your problem.

Give your problems air... Let all the right people know...

If you haven't speak to the police and say you want it documented how frightened you feel.

Is it definitely not classed as DV??

As you're in a domestic situation which makes it extra threatening for you?

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/private_renting/how_to_end_a_joint_tenancy

There might be steps you can take to end the current tenancy and re negotiate a new tenancy that excludes the difficult person.

Please seek specialist legal advice - Shelter offers free advice - see link above.

I did get some private legal advice but the solicitor wanted two grand before they would even start the case, so its way out of my price range.
The co-op has about a hundred units and our house is the only shared one.
Everything ha been documented and sent to them either by me or the other tenant but as far as we can tell they have done nothing at all.
We did go to the housing ombudtsman and that did give them a bit of a kick up the arse (initially they did not even answer emails or calls) but after a brief period of contact with us where they took all the evidence and promised to keep us informed they have now just gone back to not answering calls or emails.

Can you start looking for new housing immediately at least?

The tenancys are all individual tenancys. All they keep saying is 'its a very high bar' for eviction

I could try to go to the council for housing?

One of his behavours was that he filmed us, in the house and garden. We complained about this, so I dont feel I could film him now and tbh he never leaves his room. He is up all night so when we come down to the kitchen before work he will have papered all the cabinets with abusive and demanding notes.
He wants to controle everyones behaviour, when we can have visitors ect. Currently he is demanding we fill in a form and submit it to him if we wnat the heating on.

The co-op seem to be taking the line of 'cant we just fill it in?'

Can you apply for one of the other co-op houses with the nice tenant and share the rent between you? Although horrible tenant would be close by there would be a lot less stress if he wasn’t in the house. Then you and nice tenant could move all your furniture across without too much difficulty...

You have been getting better advice on here than I could offer. If I was in your shoes I would have joined up with the other tennent and gone to a solicitor to see if a letter could be sent to the the housing co op committee to remind them that you are being failed by them and you want action other wise you will take this further. I would how that would shake them up. Is there a co OP housing ombudsman type if thing where you can go if issues aren't resolved?

england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/renting/occupiers_with_limited_security/living_in_a_housing_co-operative

OP please get in touch with Shelter who can offer free legal advice on getting rid of this abusive person.

Surely the police need to be taking action here? The assault, the harassment, the abusive emails and now you say filming?

With all of this this evidence it would not be difficult for the co-op to get an eviction granted so its shocking that they won’t act.

I think go to the police every single time you see an abusive note or get an abusive email. Report each one individually if you have to. Bloody disgraceful that they won’t do anything.

Everyone I know who has lived in a co-op has experienced this sort of thing. Just as much as cooperative living attracts brilliant community-minded folk, it is also a magnet for the absolute dregs of society.

Either get a group together and evict him by force, or move out.

I hear what you’re saying about the rent being amazingly cheap and you’ve lived there for so long but surely the cons of living there are outweighing the pros now? And with no hope of him leaving (by the sounds of it with all the red tape you’re caught up in) then really, your only options are to stay and endure it or leave and find some peace.

Find out who is at the very top of your Police Force, and write to them to complain that your calls for help aren't being dealt with. Lay it on thick with regards to the harassment and say that you fear for your safety. Tell them that a copy of your letter/e-mail, has been sent to all other related bodies and the local newspaper. If anything happens to you, everyone including the media will be made aware that you called for help, even at the highest level, and you were ignored.

I think go to Shelter as a PP suggests. Also back to the housing ombudsman as that semi-worked before and keep going back to the ombudsman if the housing committee slow down in taking action. I think you'll need to be a bigger thorn in the side of the housing committee than he is. I also like a PP's idea of a solicitors letter to the housing committee. That shouldn't cost too much.

In the meantime, I'd try your best to grey rock him (you can look it up - basically give as little response/emotion to him as possible). When you see the abusive notes, don't even read just collect them up (store if needed for future evidence) and don't respond.

I'd absolutely not fill in his stupid heating forms! Or let him decide on visitors. Just try and carry on with him dictating as little as possible. I'd also keeping talking with the other tenants and support each other and plan together as much as you can.

Surely this would count as domestic abuse???

Is it possible to get a non molestion order against him? No idea how these work.

But yes, take pictures of EVERY note/Every message... Date it and send it to the cops...

Surely this must be reaching harassment threshold?

Also if he is emailing you - I tjink if they're abusive there are other laws ré electronic communication/s?

Any lawyers advise here?

The other thing... Is the other tenant à woman /woman with kids?

Do you have a beefy friend /brother who could tell him to stop... ( not threat, just firm...)

Can you collect the notes he leaves as more evidence?

We have collected everything and sent copies to the housing co-op and the police. I have found out through this, there are very specific things that will trigger action and he obviously knows what those things are and is very careful not to overstep the rules.
He no longer emails or texts us and the filming has stopped as far as I know.
He writes his 'letters' is a very specific way. So a note will go 'to the person' rather than using names and his insults are mixed in with everyday things, like forinstance;
'to the person who makes all the trouble in the house with their lies and theiving, we need to discuss the heating times' blablabla continue for four sides of A4, and this is enough to ensure he cant be done for harrassment.

God op what a nightmare for you. I hope you can return to your normal life as before this person got involves. Keep strong 💪

I have been educated in how to harrass someone and get away with it, turns out its a real art a grim discusting art.

This was his latest;
'to the person who makes all the trouble in the house with their lies and twisting of facts, the heating times are for everyone to decide NOT JUST YOU!!! YOU DONT CONTROLE THE HOUSE!!! (its only him who is making a problem over the heating). You know who you are! I am the reasonable one who has made a spreadsheet for you to make notes of when you incure heating costs. I always pay my bills (he does no such thing) your lies are defimation and I will makes sure anyone who is being unjustly accused will get justice!
I am totally reasonable (he is obsessed with status and thinks we look down on him because he is unemployed (we dont I have been unemployed at times before) and is constantly asserting how reasonable, normal and upper class he is )
You and your offspring have stolen from me for long enough, I know your operatons and I wont stand for it any longer.....

Imagine this continuing for pages and pages and then plastered over the kitchen cabinates when you and your kids get ready for work.

@newnamesa that does all sound horribly upsetting.

There is something very calculated about what he is doing which makes me wonder if he has tried this before, got his fingers burnt (is this is why he got evicted before?). He now knows how far to push this.

If it is calculated then he has a purpose in mind. It is possible that he is wanting to push you and any other tenants he cant cow into submission to leave. That way he will get full use of the house. Any new tenants will find themselves subject to the same treatment.