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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Working from home

71 replies

Hamjamwich · 08/12/2021 20:38

I know it sounds trivial but I could have cried when Boris said work from home.
Need some personal space ! DH is in the office 1/2 days a week and it's the only time the house is empty

OP posts:

User17273637373 · 08/12/2021 21:29

I feel the same. DP has a job in finance and he’s on calls most of the day. We live in a one bed in London, so all I can hear is him on the phone from about 8am - 9/10pm when he’s wfh. Also, he only gets signal in the kitchen/lounge so I have to avoid making noise (cooking/cleaning/watching tv) so he can work. It’s a nightmare.

I’ve loved it since he’s gone back into the office a couple of days a week, gives me peace and then I’ve been going in on the days he wfh - it’s been working really well and better for our relationship.

I can’t relax when he’s working in the flat at all, feels like I’m creeping around him constantly. It’s awful!

Roominmyhouse · 08/12/2021 21:29

@Woodmarsh

OH and I both wfh full time in a 2 bed semi and hardly see each other, it can be done

Yep same here. My desk is in our bedroom and DH in the spare room.

Nomorecoco · 08/12/2021 21:29

Same. I've been on Maternity 1.5 years and finally went back to f/t work in an office 1 month ago and its been so good for my mental health to be out the house, I've even lost much needed weight.
I've had a few days here and there where I've been poorly and had to wfh and I've just hated it.

Plus if my Dp has to WFH too its gonna be so cramped.

DrSbaitso · 08/12/2021 21:31

Are you a SAHM? Are there small kids around?

IWouldntHavetoWorkatAll · 08/12/2021 21:37

I work with families with under 3 years olds FFS. How am I meant to do anything meaningful with them at home?

If you can’t really do your job properly from home then I don’t think you’re supposed to. It’s only wfh if you can, meaning if you can do it as well as usual.

DollyPartBaked · 08/12/2021 21:43

We use our bedroom and downstairs. The issue with being at home all the time is the constant mess! Plus small children

Plopcorn · 08/12/2021 21:49

I’m sorry, but in this situation that affects the entire world, appreciate that your dh has a job. Do you not work yourself?

LadyCatStark · 08/12/2021 21:55

@IWouldntHavetoWorkatAll

I work with families with under 3 years olds FFS. How am I meant to do anything meaningful with them at home?

If you can’t really do your job properly from home then I don’t think you’re supposed to. It’s only wfh if you can, meaning if you can do it as well as usual.

Work will make us though. As far as they’re concerned virtual visits tick a box, job done!

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 08/12/2021 22:00

Not that I’m saying this is you OP but I had an acquaintance complaining about her DH WFH last year. She’s a SAHM to school aged kids. She was used to having friends over for coffees etc whilst her DH was out at work and was complaining about him being under her feet. I did kind of think silently that it was quite nasty to resent the person paying for the house spending time in it. It wasn’t as if he’d chosen to do it either.

TortolaParadise · 08/12/2021 22:01

I quite enjoyed the experience of working from home. However I fully understand that we all have different circumstances. I hope everyone will be able to find time and space to work on their mental well-being.

Starcaller · 08/12/2021 22:03

We are in Scotland but my company says work from home unless for reasons of mental well-being or your job or physically requires you to be in the office. I think a few colleagues will use the mental well-being reasoning to keep going to the office, which I totally understand. Is there nothing like that at your DH's workplace?

Pinetreesfall · 08/12/2021 22:11

I'm a permanent homeworker and love it. Sometimes I miss seeing more people but it seems the world has gone to shit and so I'd rather be at home than have to face the ridiculousness of the covid situation!

gannett · 08/12/2021 22:26

I always wonder why some women feel entitled to have the house they share with their partner as their sole domain during the day. Is it not their husbands' house as well? When, if ever, does he get to have it all to himself for a whole working day?

TokenGinger · 08/12/2021 22:28

@A580Hojas

I completely sympathise. What I want to know is how many employers give back an amount of money to their employees for wfh - heating costs and so on.

I know a couple in their early 40s in London. They have a 2 year old. All they can afford on their decent salaries is a 2 bed flat (not at all uncommon). Yet they both need desk space, constant good WiFi and a certain amount of privacy to do their jobs. Their living space is severely compromised in order to be able to wfh but they are just expected to do it without, afaik, any salary boost for this.

You can claim tax relief for WFH. It works out about £24 a month for each of us, so we have just short of £50 a month to put towards increased utilities. They can apply on the gov.uk website.

honeylulu · 08/12/2021 23:02

I've been working in the office 50% of the time since late September and the shock of commuting costs and losing the travel time I'd gained was a real shock. So I'm bloody delighted to be WFH again for a while. It will save me nearly £500 a month for a start.

My husband never went back to the office. I wonder if he is dreading and resenting me being in the house (which I pay the majority of costs for) again because he likes his "alone time". If he was so selfish as to say so I'd tell him to go and have some alone time in a different house, permanently!

Sosoo · 08/12/2021 23:08

If your company will let you go in then go in. I’ve been back in the office since last year as have many of my colleagues. Working from home is shite.

BookShark · 08/12/2021 23:13

My office is staying opening for well-being cases (i.e. those who struggle to work from home, either mentally or physically). Is there any option to do something similar? As others have said, the guidance is "if you can" - I would argue that if it has a detrimental impact to either your performance or your mental/physical health, then you can't, so you should go into the office.

All of that said, I have sympathy for your DH. I've mostly worked from home since this all started, and it only works because DH is working at the office, and DD is at school. I hate working from home when either of them is around as it's just distraction and I feel paranoid about them hearing my "work persona". So while it's tough for you, I bet it's just as bad for him...

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/12/2021 23:17

Pissed off with myself that I couldn’t get into the office the past two weeks now! Kids off sick and isolating etc - could have done with my last fix of office working!

ToykotoLosAngeles · 08/12/2021 23:20

I sympathise with home not being ideal for working. My DH has worked from home for nearly 4 years but he has a boxroom office. I'm not doing it again - half my job is phone receptionist for client calls and trying to transfer them via my mobile to one colleague after the other according to who isn't engaged drove me batty. In the office I can just press "transfer" to a free person!

2022HereWeCome · 09/12/2021 08:46

@TokenGinger are you sure you've worked that out correctly?

I'm a normal rate taxpayer and I can claim tax relief on £6 a week which works out at £1.20 a week. Nowhere near the £24 a month you are claiming. You don't get £6 a week back.

TokenGinger · 09/12/2021 09:17

[quote 2022HereWeCome]@TokenGinger are you sure you've worked that out correctly?

I'm a normal rate taxpayer and I can claim tax relief on £6 a week which works out at £1.20 a week. Nowhere near the £24 a month you are claiming. You don't get £6 a week back.[/quote]
Ah, maybe I've misunderstood it. I will double check! I just saw the first month's return (but that could have included back pack, my colleague just said), so I'll double check. Thank you for pointing out.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 09/12/2021 09:30

I felt the same but in our case it's me working from home. I'll miss my two days a week in the office and I feel for DH that he's not going to have any time to himself as he's semi retired!

We have a one bedroom flat and I work in the dining room, there's nowhere else. Unfortunately it means I feel as though I'm living in the office but there's no way I could set up in the bedroom even if there was space, sleeping in the office feels worse.

At the beginning DH felt as though he couldn't walk through the living room without asking first but, as time has gone on, he's got used to me being there and comes and goes as he wants. At the end of the day it's his home and if work didn't like it it would be tough. To be fair my boss was worried about him feeling pushed out of his own home.

Bluntness100 · 09/12/2021 09:31

Boris said work from home if you can. If mentally it’s problematic for you speak to your employer and ask to go in.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 09/12/2021 10:06

There is a tax relief for working from home that equals out at about £24 a month; but it’s only applicable if you have a home office or space that’s only used for the business, and it’s usually not advised as it often causes more liabilities to be due such as when you sell your house.

Or the “standard” tax relief from working from home is £6 a month.

MilduraS · 09/12/2021 11:09

@TokenGinger you're kind of right. I get £24 a month for working from home. It's claimed by employer and they pay it to me. If I made a claim myself it would be the lower amount mentioned before.

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