To think if you have dietary requirements you should stick to them?

[robertabrown]

I recently hosted a dinner party for ten. So lots of cooking.

One guest let me know that they have dietary requirements, dairy and gluten free, and an allergy to another very common ingredient. Yikes I thought. So I spent a good chunk of time finding a recipe that she could eat. I sent it to her to check and she said great thanks yes I can eat that. She did offer to help cook, but I personally find having new people around the kitchen to be a faff. So I pre prepared the dish.

On the evening I served it to her and she appreciated that we had gone the extra mile and even bought in a separate starter and separate pudding for her. This was because her dietaries made it impossible to find dishes that we all wanted.

She then questioned me why she wasn’t having the roast lamb. I explained it was because we had used flour (gluten) in the making, and cooked it in a jus that contained the other ingredient she was allergic too. Following her eating this, she then tucked in to every single dish that contained the ingredients she said she couldn’t eat. She ate cake made with butter and milk and flour.

She said oh it’ll be fine, I might get a bit of tummy upset.

So I realised that I had bent over backwards to prepare a meal that she could eat, when she could eat what we were all eating anyway. This came at a financial cost, and a time one. Plus we only have one small oven so was hard to time the other dishes around hers.

Aibu to think that if you say you have a dietary requirement that you stick to it?

What an absolute arse she is!!

She needs to learn the difference between a requirement and a preference.

Very annoying. She should've made it clear that it was a preference but not a necessity.

It annoys me when people do this. People who have actual allergies are sometimes then not taken seriously.

Yeah that’s really annoying.

Coeliac here, I’d be delighted someone had made me something nice. A bit gutted I missed out on the lamb but thats h8w it goes.

That is really bad of her. Not surprising you are annoyed.

How annoying. She’s a CF.

That's ridiculous. Her kind of attitude also makes it hard for people with genuine allergies to be taken seriously.

A coworker of mine always causes a big fuss any time we're going out to eat... Has to be somewhere with a gluten free menu, spends ages at the restaurant confirming what's gluten free. But then when they say something she wants can't be made gluten free she just says "ah that's okay I'll have it anyway".

My sister is a coeliac who gets incredibly sick from even just a tiny bit of cross contamination so it really annoys me.

I would have called her out on it. Asked if she thought it was OK to give someone a list of requirements and then get there and totally ignore it.

Don't ask her over again

I wouldn't be inviting her back again

Annoying. But when my coeliac friend comes to dinner, we all eat the same thing and there's nothing served that she can't eat.

This still rankles 15 years on.
Dairy and gluten free. Didn't tell me till we were already at the holiday cottage (DHs mates new gf) panic, cobble something together. THEN SHE FECKING TUCKS INTO APPLE CRUMBLE AND CUSTARD.

I have no issues with catering for dietary requirements, but

1. please give me some warning and
2. stick to it

YANBU. See also pescatarians who claim to be vegetarian and then eat fish.

@Hillarious

Annoying. But when my coeliac friend comes to dinner, we all eat the same thing and there's nothing served that she can't eat.

But in the OP's case, the friend could not eat (or said she couldn't) gluten, dairy, and another common ingredient. It sounds as if it would be far more difficult to find something omitting all these things that was still reasonably appealing to the other guests.

Very cheeky when she’d specifically flagged the allergy and intolerances.

However, sometimes people with quite mild intolerances choose to eat food that makes them feel unwell, as is their right.

I have a "gluten free" acquaintance - who happily tucks into a bacon sandwich, cheeky pork pie, cake etc when out and about but when coming to my / my families home will mention being gluten free. Winds me up no end!!

What a fkn bitch move

*Very cheeky when she’d specifically flagged the allergy and intolerances.

However, sometimes people with quite mild intolerances choose to eat food that makes them feel unwell, as is their right.*

Not cheeky just rude and rediculous!!
And of course you can choose to to eat food that make you unwell BUT NOT AFTER doing this big " oh I am allergic to this; cant eat this; def can eat that" kinda sherades...

I would never invite her over for a meal anymore. This lady should be very embarrassed by her actions

Similar to a colleague who insisted on a venue which also had a vegan menu. Then had a dairy cappuccino- as they don’t like the taste of it on soy….

She's a dick.

@Shiningpath

Very cheeky when she’d specifically flagged the allergy and intolerances.

However, sometimes people with quite mild intolerances choose to eat food that makes them feel unwell, as is their right.

Right to be an arsehole I’d have shamed her in front of everyone else but then again I’m quite vocal and not afraid of confrontation.

She likely is one of those that doesn't have issues, just thinks they do. More likely they eat too much food, have a belly ache then blame the type of food.

I wouldn't bother again for her. Doesn't need it. She's just greedy.

But in the OP's case, the friend could not eat (or said she couldn't) gluten, dairy, and another common ingredient. It sounds as if it would be far more difficult to find something omitting all these things that was still reasonably appealing to the other guests.

@Negligee - but not impossible. I just find it a bit weird to serve a different dish for one person. I would instead go for the lowest common denominator and put the effort into making that nice for everyone. If there's a vegetarian, I'd probably do a range of mostly vegetable curries. There are loads of vegan alternatives to dairy, but I'd avoid the cheese. It would be interesting to know what the "allergy to another very common ingredient" is.

@galacticpixels

That's ridiculous. Her kind of attitude also makes it hard for people with genuine allergies to be taken seriously.

A coworker of mine always causes a big fuss any time we're going out to eat... Has to be somewhere with a gluten free menu, spends ages at the restaurant confirming what's gluten free. But then when they say something she wants can't be made gluten free she just says "ah that's okay I'll have it anyway".

My sister is a coeliac who gets incredibly sick from even just a tiny bit of cross contamination so it really annoys me.

This with bells on. My DP and MIL are both coeliac and they'd be horribly ill if they ate wheat. Did you call her out on it at the time?