Page 4 | Do we have enough for children

simpledeer · 07/12/2021 13:09

How much do you earn OP? Are you entitled to maternity pay from your employer? How generous is their scheme? How long do you intend to be off for?

Do you have free childcare available (GPs) or will you be paying?

How much does it cost in your area?

These are the sorts of questions you need to ask. At 33 I think you should crack on. Good luck.

Brokenrecord3006 · 07/12/2021 13:15

Our household income was similar when we had DS and we were very skint but we managed. Childcare cost around the same as our rent so with 2 children I'm not sure how we would have done it. We stopped saving and had credit cards ready for emergencies. We managed, just!

Can I also just say, we had our child first and then both started climbing the ladder. Had I waited until I was doing better at work, being off to have a baby would have been much harder. In my position now there's no way I could be off work that long (nor could I handle my income dropping to stat maternity pay!) If I didn't have DS when we did, I'd probably never have had children.

jimmyjammy001 · 07/12/2021 13:45

Depends entirely on the lifestyle you want to live after you have children, plenty have kids whilst they have no careers and then end up on the benefits system and then complain they can't afford to feed their children, should probs sit down and plan a budget out.

RobotValkyrie · 07/12/2021 14:04

@Glassofshloer

You’ll be absolutely fine. They really don’t cost much until they get to school. And even then people exaggerate.

As others have already pointed out, this is nonsense. Children "don't cost much" only if you consider that a woman's time is worth nothing!

Childcare costs for two under 5s was eating my entire salary. And I earn significantly more than the median wage. It gets a bit better once they reach school age, as you can use less childcare (especially if your work allows flexible hours and your partner does his share of after-school pickups).

The more money you earn, the more expensive children are if you decide to stop working to look after them. But for many women, childcare cost is bigger than what they earn. So they stop working, and lose pensions contributions, and their career suffers, and their earning potential takes a life-long hit.

I'd recommend to keep working if you can afford (otherwise you'll get stuck in a hole, economically speaking), but that may mean using up savings, or relying on free childcare from family?

Pixiedust138 · 07/12/2021 14:20

Being honest, at 33 I would start trying now if you are secure with your job and home. I've had fertility issues and know from experience that you can run out of time if things that longer than expected.

Constellationstation · 07/12/2021 14:20

I agree with the people who say that if you wait until you’re ready you’ll probably be waiting forever. I think you should start trying now. You get by with children because you have to. Better that than waiting until it’s too late and forever regretting it.

EmeraldShamrock · 07/12/2021 14:58

The childcare costs are a short term investment keeping you in employment.
Well worth it.
Your chances are all ready reduced at 33.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/12/2021 15:05

just in case it isnt obvious, the OP and her husband cannot afford childcare right now- they have £800 disposable income.

meh12 · 07/12/2021 15:27

@OnlyFoolsnMothers did she state how much childcare she needs? Or how much it is in her area? £800 with tax free childcare etc is likely enough for one child. Not saying it's easy but I don't think it's for anyone to tell someone they shouldn't have a child in the circumstances described, especially at 33, they're not exactly on the poverty line.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/12/2021 15:32

@OnlyFoolsnMothers did she state how much childcare she needs? Or how much it is in her area? £800 with tax free childcare etc is likely enough for one child. Not saying it's easy but I don't think it's for anyone to tell someone they shouldn't have a child in the circumstances described, especially at 33, they're not exactly on the poverty line

unless theres a massive drip feed like the OP works 2 days a week and thats still their income, no it is not enough. You cannot use your entire disposable income on childcare (though £800 for an assumed 5 days a week is less than min wage)- how will they afford to buy clothes, fix a car/ boiler etc.
If the OP becomes a SAHM then no childcare costs, which is doable if their outgoings werent so high compared to their income.

People either cope: state help if a low enough income or family willing to look after a child for free/ next to nothing.

cjpark · 07/12/2021 15:48

I think if most people thought about the costs of having children, they probably wouldn't do it!
You do cut your cloth accordingly but obviously you want to do the best for your children. Childcare costs were a squeeze for us but things don't get much cheaper as they grow into bigger people - School shoes, rugby boots, trainers cost a fortune!

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 07/12/2021 15:57

We have 2 children. I wfh as an accountant and DH is self employed. Between us we being in just over 4,100 a month after tax and pension contributions.

Our mortgage is 1,200 a month.

We just about managed but really struggled when the dc were tiny and needed childcare.

We do live in north of England and fund a large house.

I wouldn't manage on 3k net.

QforCucumber · 07/12/2021 16:13

DH and I bring in just over 3k net, we have one in full time nursery (£880n a month after TFC) and another at a childminder after school (£8 a day) the reason there is 4 years between them is due to the FT childcare fees, but it is worth it - when I fell pregnant with DS1 I earned 16k and DH was on 23k, we now earn £26k and £33k - that's a £20k increase in 5 years, we'd not have had those increases if we'd not have stayed in work.

Yes it's hard, and FT childcare is expensive, but we cut lots of costs elsewhere (and stopped putting into savings during these years) as soon as DS2 gets his 30 hours (another 20 months) we will be £650 a month better off than we are now and that'll be the case for always, 2 years of FT childcare each is such a short period of their lives - you soon forget about it once you're out of the other side and have their entire lives.

mumofbun · 07/12/2021 16:15

We earn about the same. I did a spreadsheet and worked out how much worse off we would be while i was on maternity and we aimed to save that amount to cover us just in case. I also looked at childcare costs and worked out that roughly - how much it would be full time. Then i applied for a regrading and got a slight payrise which would mean i could afford to drop a day of work without taking a wage hit.

We now have our little boy in nursery 3 days a week, looked after by family 1 day and i am off work the other. It still feels like sometimes it's quite tight - nursery is about £650 per month! We use the tax-free childcare but i still don't think i'd consider another until he had his free hours.

But like others have said, if you want to have a baby you'll make it work. Nothing will ever make it seem like a breeze so i'd just do what we did which was get started trying and work all that out in the meantime!

EmpressCixi · 07/12/2021 16:19

You have £800 spare every month. Start saving this.
I had £10k savings per child to cover reduced income while on maternity pay.
Then once you return to work, that £800/mo will go a long way to covering nursery costs. You also would be eligible for tax free child care benefit on your income level.

It will be a stretch, but it always is and the longer you wait the more likely you will be paying for ivf or expensive fertility treatments.

Start trying now and save that £800/mo starting now.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 07/12/2021 16:24

Start now and save up. We've got one - I was 34 when I gave birth. It's cost us half my wages (I am part time) plus half that again in nursery fees, but 3 years on our funding kicks in next month. We have definitely needed our savings.

Jizzle · 07/12/2021 17:10

Everyone's situation is different, but you'll need to have a look at the nurseries near you and how much they cost, as well as going down to one job etc.

We decided we wouldn't have kids until we had 30k in savings, which we considered enough to take a little time off work and ensure we could pay a couple of years of nursery/clubs etc. In the end we got to our target a little earlier than expected so we had our two by 33, we had thought it would be more like 35/36, but we are glad we saved what we did as it allowed us to take longer of work than most of our friends and not worry about fees etc.

That said, this was just to give us peace of mind, people have been having babies with a lot less cash available and they do just fine, it is totally dependent on your own situation.

mogsrus · 07/12/2021 17:22

Try and forecast 10yrs down the line, we only had 1 child & very glad, as I only see very hard times ahead

TooManyGiraffes · 07/12/2021 21:57

@Enoughfor

My DH and I are now 33 and wanting to have children. However, and I am probably being unreasonable but am a bit worried about our finances and whether it’s ‘enough’ or if we need to try and climb the career ladder and get payrises first. Our total household income after tax is 3k.

I have (many) twins in the family so am trying to figure out if we could afford 2 kids if that happened.

We have household outgoings of about this 2.2k currently. Do we need to make more first or is this a reasonable sum for children?

I think that would be tight, with your outgoings. Presumably that income is from you both working? So your disposable income per month is £800. A full time place at nursery where I live is over £1000. If you have twins, £2000. So then you both have to cut back hours, how many hours can you drop between you before you lose the spare £800 pcm: would it be enough to manage all the childcare between you and alternate working hours?

That's a tough road to go down though because you'll both be absolutely exhausted, and barely see each other.

And all of the above is without considering the other additional costs that come with children if you want to give them lots of experiences: clothes, shoes, buggies, trips, classes, holidays, birthdays etc etc.

I'd focus on career progression for another few years then TTC.

Anaximedes · 07/12/2021 23:22

All these people going on about how it’s cheaper ‘if you choose to breastfeed’… Sometimes it isn’t a choice. And it’s okay not to breastfeed!

This is true.

But, it's also okay to say that it's cheaper to choose to breastfeed rather than bottlefeed (all caveats aside) and is worth saying to someone trying to work out how their budget might look, pre-TTC! Although the costs can level up somewhat if bottles, breastpumps and so on are used. But formula is expensive and not everyone realises this.

Anaximedes · 07/12/2021 23:23

I'd focus on career progression for another few years then TTC.

Fertility-wise (at age 33), and given their stated budget as a starting point, I do not agree.

Katieandthekids · 08/12/2021 07:15

I have twins and another on the way. Income after tax about the same as you. I would say OP that just that you are thinking about this and working it out shows you are ready and would be able to cope and budget xx

Agadorsparticus · 08/12/2021 07:23

We did some prep before my first baby, moved to a better area for schools, traded in the 2 seater sports car for a sensible family car and made sure we had good amount saved for my maternity leave as I only got SSP. I lost some income going part time when I went back to work but I was very lucky that I could take DD in with me so no childcare. That's the most expensive thing, never mind nappies and formula.

Agadorsparticus · 08/12/2021 07:24

Stat mat pay, not SSP.

IsabelHerna · 18/12/2021 18:22

You can work out a plan from now, for example, research childcare options where you live and possibly saving from now towards that expense. I think you're very sensible for thinking about those things now, it shows your maturity. Just don't let those thoughts cripple you, let them be a motivation.