To not understand why some people like Secret Santa?

[FortunesFave]

I've managed to escape the things until this year...I now work part time in a place and my colleague has organised a SS.

She's arranged the gift exchange to happen on the drinks night...I hate drinks nights and was planning to avoid by saying I had a prior engagement but when I told her this and I said "Oh I can't participate as I don't think I can make it that night" she said, "Oh we'll put you down anyway and you can just pick up your gift when you come in a day later"

I can't get out of it! I don't mind spending the bit of money but I'll probably pick a shit gift...I've got a guy who is hard to buy for because he likes everything luxurious...he's known for always bringing his own "good" wine to events etc.

The budget won't extend to that!

I am going in today and will be alone and I'm going to swap him for someone else!

I don't give a bugger. I want an easy pick.

I'm wondering why people enjoy spending money on tat or on things which might not go down well? If you like them, can you say why?

Ours is fun, small team and we all do a “likes and dislikes” so you know roughly what to get. Budget is £5ish and it’s just a token.
We usually exchange at our team meal, but it’s all very informal and relaxed. Only 9 of us.

@Landlubber2019

My workplace stopped doing SS a few years ago, instead we are all asked to donate to a local food Bank and collect toys to be donated locally.

This seems much less indulgent and less wasteful .

I agree

I used to not mind taking part, but the two gifts I have received back have been alcohol and I don't really drink. Plus I own a mobile bar so have access to £1000's of all kinds of drink so don't need anymore bought for me! Don't see the point in doing it as it is stressful putting lots of thought into someone's gift and getting shit back.

I've come to loathe it but I recognise it's a bit silly to feel that way. Lucky that it's opt-in at my workplace. I like fun and Christmas and presents but I just find SS awful - an extra burden, a waste and either too cheap or too expensive.

You absolutely can get out of these things by just saying no. Who cares what they think? My workplace is just my workplace. These people aren't my friends. I just say I don't like doing Secret Santa so count me out! Why do you feel so obligated? You don't have to attend the drinks thing if you don't want to.

It's probably too late to opt out of SS this year as you already said you'll do it, but next year. Just say no!!

I said this on another thread but if someone buys me a gift, I say thank you and don't reciprocate. They soon stop buying for you when they realize you aren't going to reciprocate.

YANBU. I hate secret santa with a passion

@Langsdestiny

It's never bloody voluntary. We are an office of 8. No way I could say no without it being a complete drama.

Course it is, they can't force you. Just explain politely that you're not taking part and ignore the drama.

It can be fun, but really annoying when you've painstakingly chosen what you think is a really thoughtful gift and then what you receive is clearly a joke.

I remember one year being bought a can of lager and a football annual - I think the implication at the time was that I was perceived as a 'ladette' because, as a woman, I happened to like some pastimes that were stereotypically male. I was fucking furious and felt humiliated.

Last year I got a beautiful mug, with some delicious hot chocolate and marshmallows, which was a vast improvement.

Its supposed to be fun!!
Your not supposed to buy luxurious gifts. Just fun/jokey/inappropriate ones (depending on who you have)

Also you should never be forced into it.
Takes the fun out of it. Stand your ground

Also, for what it's worth, people who pressurize others to take part in these things either by guilt-tripping them or manipulating them. They aren't really very nice people, are they? They are being selfish because they organized it and want lots of people to take part but it's not about what you want, it's about them. So, don't feel bad about saying no because you don't need to spend your money to stroke another adults ego. Totally different if it's all voluntary of course, but people shouldn't ever feel pressure to participate.

I loathe the work one. It's yet another bloody job to add to my list of December things.

However, I will think about it and buy something reasonably thoughtful, I will wrap it up bonny and squeal with delight when I get my gift.

Got to play the game.

Large team, £5 budget. All sit in a circle (pre covid🙄) first person picks one and opens, next person can decide to steal that one or open a fresh one and so it goes on. More fun if drinks are involved 😂 unfortunately there is always one of the lads who buys something rude/inappropriate and the most innocent/shy person seems to end up with it. Other than that it can be great fun.

All I can say is secret santa beats the arse off a Yankee swap. They have to be the worst thing EVER. I wish my work would do a secret santa

Swap the ticket for your own name if you can. Then you can wrap up something you'd actually like to get. Just make sure you add it to the pile another time when you're there alone 😅

If he’s posh, buy him a bow tie in a jazzy colour from Amazon. It’ll be cheap but might be useful to him.

You hate drinks night and you don’t like Secret Santa.

I’m guessing you probably do like things other people won’t understand.

I mean, different people like different things shocker…

We have a SS at work but we operate a wish list process, so everyone enters suggestions of things they might like up to the limit of SS budget, and you pick from that. It helps to make sure that people get something they want and makes it easier for the buyer to buy.

@XelaM

It's a bit of fun!!

Honestly people are so utterly miserable on MN. No Secret Santa, no school Christmas jumper day, God forbid grandparents ask the parents what to get the grandkids for Christmas MN is just full of miserable people who like to complaint about the slightest thing

I've found it quite annoying as a single parent, with thousands of pounds of childcare & a house to run every month. I could barely justify a nice lipstick for myself never mind some useless crap that someone was likely to bin. It was made clear that it would go down like a lead balloon if I said no. With a new job, I had to reluctantly go with the corporate flow.

I hate ss as the gifts usually end up being a waste, 10-20 bits of tat going straight in the trash, it's disgusting. I don't go in my work one and I've even put a stop to my friends group and family ones.

However if I was forced in to it, as I have been in the past, I wouldn't stress over it. Box of chocs = job done. If they don't like it they can regift or leave the box at work for everyone to share.

I don't like it. It's just about ok in a group of close friends or family where everyone knows each other well enough to get a decent gift. However, I've done it in a close friend's group and the first year or two was fine but then people stayed running out of ideas. I hate it as an idea for work colleagues.

You say you can't get out of it but have you tried saying you don't want to rather than you couldn't because you won't be there for the drinks? Because that sounds like you do want to...

I always liked secret Santa but don't think I'd be as bothered doing it at work going forwards.

I've only ever done one and that was for my pagan group. It was meh, not terrible.

I used to give £10 in an envelope, much easier, plus protests were ignored if you said no so it was easier to just give in rather than be nagged for two weeks.

However we then had a new racist colleague who said I shouldn’t be allowed to take part because ‘our lot’ shouldn’t be allowed to sully christs name. I think the only time racism has been a positive!

I loved Secret Santa in the office, excellent excuse for a bit of a party at lunchtime and a laugh.
Working from home now, probably for ever as I have been promoted this year.
It’s all quite sad!