To think something awful is about to happen

[Garysmum]

For about a week now I have had an impending sense of doom. Sounds silly doesn't it? But it's a really deep feeling, something in the pit of the stomach that has been intensifying.
I have had these strange feelings before and had that sense when someone was about to die. (And I've read many a post on here when people have mentioned this too.) It works the other way for me too, I have been seriously ill twice and had the sense I was going to be fine against the odds.
This time, something tells me its something tragic to do with me or one of the DC (less likely the ex). It's been intensifying all week. There have been lots of strange signs. I know I must sound off my rocker but these things have been out of place and I haven't been looking for them, hoping for the opposite in fact.
I am so frightened and I have never been before when I have had one of these senses. It's making me feel very unwell. And no I haven't changed any medication recently.
I neither want to see anything happen to the DC or ex, nor do I want to die a long drawn out death from covid (I am CV) or anything else. It's making me think about ending my life. Rationally that's ridiculous.
AIBU or YANBU you have these strong senses too.

I’m guessing Diana had already died at that point.

I get this occasionally to, at a moment of national tragedy or mourning, a palpable feeling in the air that something is not right.

I remember as a child waking up the morning she died feeling that way. I also felt like that when Joe Cox was murdered. It happened to me in October, a few low key odd things happened when I was out that gave me a strange feeling and got back to the news about Sir David Ames.

That’s a little different to what the op had described and I would be inclined to agree with the comments suggesting a visit to the GP for general health check.

The progesterone is interesting, I’m currently new to hrt and balancing the levels, I find if my progesterone dips I hit doomsday anxiety. I’m glad your speaking to your gp. I hope you feel better soon.

Oh no. I am so sorry. Weirdly it’s been my eldest Dc I am really anxious about the one who hung themselves and nearly died just pre pandemic

Oh God, I didn’t realise this had happened. If I had I probably wouldn’t have shared my experience . It could well be that this previous horrible experience is what has set off this anxiety in you, and in my case, although my brother had never attempted suicide before, he had a mental illness and I always imagined that his life would end that way-unlike the rest of my family it turned out, but then I have always been a pessimist.

Am I the only one surprised that people think you will actually be able to get to see a doctor without any actual physical symptoms, just I think something horrible is going to happen?
I couldn’t get an appointment when I had really bad chest pains and a racing heart!

You say you’ve been seriously ill twice, could this be PTSD?

So sorry to hear this. Do you think you were picking up cues from him, his behaviour, language etc.?

Thank you. As I just told OP he had suffered with a serious mental illness for years and I always believed that suicide would be the way he would die, even though no previous attempts had been made. I’d never ever felt that strong sense of doom that I had in the week before his death though and the only thing that changed was that he had cut himself off from people for a while, but he had done that many many times before.

@PinkSyCo

Oh no. I am so sorry. Weirdly it’s been my eldest Dc I am really anxious about the one who hung themselves and nearly died just pre pandemic

Oh God, I didn’t realise this had happened. If I had I probably wouldn’t have shared my experience . It could well be that this previous horrible experience is what has set off this anxiety in you, and in my case, although my brother had never attempted suicide before, he had a mental illness and I always imagined that his life would end that way-unlike the rest of my family it turned out, but then I have always been a pessimist.

Maybe I needed I vocalise that. We have recently become closer again as DC had gone off the rails in the interim. And we had a proper conversation this week that made me cry. And that’s definitely contributed. I’ve always been a pessimist too. Don’t think that helps me.

Weirdly it’s been my eldest Dc I am really anxious about the one who hung themselves and nearly died just pre pandemic

Just seen this and so sorry to hear you experienced this. I think what you may be describing could be PTSD from that event. Don’t brush it off, go see your GP.

Maybe I needed I vocalise that. We have recently become closer again as DC had gone off the rails in the interim. And we had a proper conversation this week that made me cry. And that’s definitely contributed.
I’ve always been a pessimist too. Don’t think that helps me.

It’s not an easy think to talk about though is it? And it’s a terrible thing to have to live with. Have you and your child had any help since it happened?

I have had this feeling in the past when my diagnosed anxiety disorder flares up.

It sounds like you're struggling OP. The GP will be very happy to see you based on what you have written here. It could be a range of things, all of which can be treated in some way or another. Don't suffer in silence xx

I bet you anything it's the progesterone.

I've had three attempts at taking it, years apart, and every single time I had the worst anxiety/blues/emotional instability. It was intense and frightening. Near instant relief after stopping it.

I would prioritize investigating that as it's a simple fix if it's the cause. X

DC had refused all help. Attended mandatory appointments in silence. Went off rails. Recently assigned someone who has helped. Slowly DC is learning to talk. Whether it lasts I don’t know. But the child I loved is breaking through to the surface again. Typing this I realise I am terrified of losing DC again, not necessarily physically if that makes sense
Ex and I had no help as parents.

I’m sorry to hear about your dc. Feelings of impending doom are classic anxiety.

It may be that the events of the last 2 years are catching up with you.

I dreamt something bad was going to happen on a Tuesday. Thought it was just a silly dream. My Brother died not long after in a cer accident on a Tuesday. So many regrets.

@Garysmum - honestly, this is exactly how I felt when I was going through menopause. Crippling anxiety. Felt like the world was going to end. Try oestrogen. It WILL help. (Takes a couple of weeks but it will lift.)

DC had refused all help. Attended mandatory appointments in silence. Went off rails. Recently assigned someone who has helped. Slowly DC is learning to talk. Whether it lasts I don’t know. But the child I loved is breaking through to the surface again. Typing this I realise I am terrified of losing DC again, not necessarily physically if that makes sense
Ex and I had no help as parents.

I think it’s really awful that you, as parents weren’t offered any help. I could weep for you, honestly it’s no wonder you’re so anxiety ridden. I’m so glad that your child is beginning to open up to you though and all I would suggest is that you keep that communication going to the best of your ability and in the meantime look into getting some help for yourself. Good luck OP. xx

You're thoughts are racing and irrational, phone your GP.
Don't take any actions against yourself, start deep breathing.

@Chewbecca

(I haven’t had it since I have been on HRT either btw)

I didn’t think my mood was being influenced by going through the menopause but once I started HRT I suddenly felt a million times calmer and less anxious. I’d been a bit stressy but as I had valid reasons -elderly parents and illness in the family I blamed any stress and anxiety on that. I wish I’d started HRT much sooner.

Could you have Covid as it can your body into fight or flight and l had a really bad day in the middle of it with that terrible sense of doom..think now it was my body fighting the virus but it was a horrible feeling. All was well after a few days.
Mind yourself as you have a lot going on.