To ask the worst behaviour at Christmas you’ve witnessed by an adult?

[SoniaFouler]

Mine is:

Drunk cousin (24 at the time) shouting and arguing with everyone for most of Boxing Day three years ago, then topped it off when someone told her to stop being stupid by standing up and scraping the entire contents of her dinner plate all over the table and made my aunt cry.

I think I’ve heard this story! Is your name Liz by any chance?!

@Allsortsofroses you are a legend !

@1madMama I think it's time you stopped derailing the thread?

@1madMama

What thread

Are you ok?

@Theywalkamongstus

My ex-boyfriends father sexually assaulted me on Christmas day. He waited until everyone was out of the room and then did it.

@1madMama

Oh I’m half asleep actually. Someone asked me what I said about snobs earlier, idk. There were some

Genuine question, are you drunk?

@JustLyra that's so sad, I hope things improved for you with your grandparents. My DD is 3 and the idea of breaking her heart on Christmas day is unbearable

First of all for all those who had Xmas' which were filled with abuse and trauma from the very adults who were supposed to love them.

When I was 12, my five year old brother vomited in his bed on Xmas eve. My Mum was asleep and my Dad was passed out pissed.

I changed his pjs and bed sheets, got him a bucket and settled him back to sleep.

Xmas was spent with my parents rowing and Boxing Day my Mum punished us by making us do housework all day.

Another Xmas, my younger sister was chopping veg when my Mum grabbed her by the throat. My younger sister tried to stab my Mum and my older sister wrestled the knife off her and then wrestled my Mum off my sister.

Another NY eve, I was 10 and left to babysit my two younger siblings over night. We were left a lot when my parents went up to London and stayed at a hotel. They also went abroad for 3/4 night mini breaks roughly once a month. Sometimes she didn't leave enough food for us.

Rather amazingly, this will be my very first Xmas (I'm 48) without her. I went no contact three months ago and have blocked her, am about to move house and change my name.

It will just be me, my lovely, kind husband and three beautiful, funny kids.

Even though I will never be rid of the scars of abuse, I am safe and free. Happy Xmas to me

@MrsBobDylan I’m sorry you went through all of that. How are your younger siblings?

Thanks @AnnieSnap - one emigrated to the other side of the world (the youngest) and the other went n/c with our Mum in March.

We are close and have been able to support each other. My eldest sibling is still stuck in the family dynamic and there is lots of tension there. She feels we have left her with having to care for our Mum and won't talk about the abuse.

She was the golden child so I think is more drawn into it all. I have no love left for my Mum, just fear. I am terrified of her just turning up on my doorstep again.

I understand @MrsBobDylan I had a crazy mother too. I have moved on from it all emotionally, so I don’t want to bring it all up, but I totally get it. I used to wonder how I’d feel when I heard that she’d died. That happened several years ago now and I felt nothing. I didn’t go to the funeral.

@AnnieSnap & @MrsBobDylan I also had a crazy, violent mother. At her funeral, I could have happily played “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” from the Wizard of Oz.
I am still traumatized years later. Will never forgive my dad either for alternately hiding behind her or using her as an excuse.

Christmas is so over-rated.
I do love the decorations and the buzz, but the day itself never lives up to the hype.

I'm so sorry for all of the traumas that have been posted on here - just heartbreaking, some of them, especially @DimplesToadfoot and @Maddiemoosmum0203 (the most horrifying) but everyone else who had to suffer horrendous behaviour from people who are supposed to care for/about them.

Our Christmases were usually ok but Mum would create an atmosphere of tension, and no one was allowed to open presents until she was ready to be there. Things improved after I'd moved out - I used to work night shift Christmas Eve, then go over around 10am and the FIRST thing I would do was give her a sherry. She wasn't at all a drinker, it never made her drunk, but it did take the edge off her stress levels.

@Justilou1 mine wasn’t physically violent, she was psychologically abusive, probably unintentionally, as she was batshit crazy. She lived in her own reality.

Nothing dramatic...an adult cousin having a very teenage strop and sulk because they didn't get their preferred seat at the table

Jesus she sounds like an absolute coo.

this is why last Christmas locked down was lovely.

Keep it simple and stay in and avoid the politics.

I wonder if other religions have these problems too at their major celebrations.

It's obviously not as appalling as most of these stories but my MIL sat with a face like a smacked arse after opening our present for her. She was clearly pissed off about it as when other people said how lovely it was (it was a cardigan) she just didn't respond. It was so awkward and childlike and she remained that way until she left.

The next day she opened a present from her other son. She squealed in delight and clapped her hands. It was a fucking reed diffuser. 🤣

@Fluffycloudland77

I wonder if other religions have these problems too at their major celebrations.

As far as i know Family tensions, arguments, disagreements, divorces etc aren’t limited to Christianity!

Christmas is so over-rated.
I do love the decorations and the buzz, but the day itself never lives up to the hype.

It does for me. Single parent with two children
Absolute wonderful day.
No tension, not MILs having tantrums or DH’s not pulling their weight etc

It’s not the family image of Christmas you see in the adverts

But it’s a million times happier than the ones I’ve read about on mumsnet most of the time

I'm sorry @AnnieSnap and @Justilou1 - some people shouldn't be allowed to have children.

It's sad when you think of women who couldn't have kids who could have loved us.

I always feel like a lost child because nobody really loved me, so I didn't bring the sort of joy that I have experienced as a Mum.

It is a bit like I arrived with a present but my parents didn't want it. It's one of the reasons I love making my kids happy - it makes me feel like I'm giving that gift.

I'm glad to hear you both didn't attend the funerals and that it felt 'ok'. I won't go to my Mum's - it would feel fake and even with her lying in a coffin, she would still make me feel afraid. If anyone could come back from the dead, it would be her!