To ask the worst behaviour at Christmas you’ve witnessed by an adult?

[SoniaFouler]

Mine is:

Drunk cousin (24 at the time) shouting and arguing with everyone for most of Boxing Day three years ago, then topped it off when someone told her to stop being stupid by standing up and scraping the entire contents of her dinner plate all over the table and made my aunt cry.

@HerkyBaby

Mother refusing to accept Christmas presents given to her by grandson aged 10. He even tried to pass them to her through her open car window which she then closed . It was Christmas Eve. He was heart broken.

How very Snow Queen of her. Poor boy. Why?

Some of these are heartbreaking. My mother is almost never happy with her presents, although I try hard. Even as an adult it stings.

@RaPumPumPumPum your comment
“I’d quite like to hear the other people’s side of some of these stories as I just don’t believe people physically attack their family members on Christmas Day ‘for no reason whatsoever”
Is offensive. It’s hard to believe you are so naive 🤬

I know a family where last year one of them had Covid symptoms, and had been for a test but was waiting for the results. They had a larger than allowed at the time gathering. The person with the symptoms went along, but didn’t tell anyone they were waiting for results. The gran and grandad both got Covid and died 2 weeks later within 24 hours of each other.

@Larryyourwaiter there's probably a reason why the BIL is unmarried.

@Gumbomambo there are some awfully sad stories on this thread but Frank the Waltzing Turkey really made me smile!

@Jacaranda75

Every year without fail my Mum’s DP would get drunk, throw the Christmas tree out of the window and smash all my presents.

I’ve never told anybody that before.

This makes me so sad, well done for telling us all, and have one of those big hugs that we don't do on mumsnet.

@RaPumPumPumPum I’m reporting your posts for implying domestic violence is the victims’ fault. You should be ashamed of yourself - do some googling and read about the extraordinarily high levels of domestic violence and coercive control in this country. Two women DIE a week at the hands of their partner - what is the reason for that?! I am disgusted to see attitudes like yours on this site.

My MIL once shut the door in my face on 23rd Dec whilst I was holding DS, then 6mths old. DH was in hospital having had sudden, serious abdominal pain which turned out to be gallstones. I had left him at hospital and called round to drop off our presents for them, in case we couldn’t now see them on Christmas Day. She said, ‘OK, bye then’ in a sarcastic tone and shut the door. She was clearly upset that she might not see her grandson on Christmas Day but it was pretty hard to get over.
A few years later, they again wanted to see us on Christmas Day again so we arranged for them to come over to us in the afternoon. We left my (lovely, sane) family early and went home and waited. And waited. They were over 2 hrs late in the end, with no apology. I had put baby DD to bed because she was exhausted. FIL arrived dressed as Father Christmas without telling us. Really confused 3yr old DS who could not understand why FC was back. And he was drunk.
We now see them on Boxing Day.

@PowerhouseOfTheCell

Went to the pubs Xmas Eve with some friends, one friends mum turns up wasted with a group of men we don’t know. Declares to the whole pub she’s had a gang bang and just been fingered in the beer garden! Absolute silence descends. My friend and her mum ended up scrapping in a bus shelter. We’ve never spoken of it again but every time I go past that pub I shudder

@PowerhouseOfTheCell I'm crying

When I was a child my alcoholic, very right wing great aunt came for Christmas one year.

She got so drunk on multiple gin-and-hardly-any-tonics that she started arguing about politics with my mum & dad while they were serving up Christmas dinner (my mum says her last words that day were ‘The Shah of Iran is a VERY NiCE MAN!’) …before promptly passing out face down in to her dinner. Full on blue rinse in the gravy.

Us kids thought it was hilarious! My parents not so much.

As a kid Christmas was always brilliant, until the year my mum died and my dad was suddenly alone with 4 children and his alcoholism.
He forgot to decorate, buy any presents or any food.
Basically Christmas just didn’t happen. I was 12 my youngest brother was 9.
Weirdly I don’t blame my dad, it must have been hard for him and if anything it’s taught me to make sure dh is involved in all of Christmas, from present buying to dinner making to cards/wrap.
If anything ever happens to me I’m almost sure he could carry off the Christmas our dcs are used to.

Some of these stories are beyond awful. I am appalled at how dysfunctional and violent some people's family lives are. Poor, poor children, witnessing all this screming, fighting and aggression at Christmas. Although something tells me it's not just Christmas and they are sort of used to it.

My mothers friend about 25 years ago.

Her toxic single brother invited himself for Christmas dinner along with their parents and sister plus her DH and children.

Turned up empty handed (no wine/chocolates and no presents for anyone but expected to be the recipient of expensive gifts and kicked off when he didn't get them).

Spent Christmas dinner moaning about the food (DM's friend is an excellent cook btw) whist simultaneously eating enough for 3 greedy people.

Got obnoxiously pissed/sweary and had to be "contained" away from the children in the kitchen by family on a "rota" meaning they couldn't relax and then was carried to bed when he finally passed out.

To top it off he got up super early on Boxing Day and drove home.

A relief you may think - but the bastard had cleaned out the fridge of not just all the dinner leftovers but copious amounts of booze and worst of all the whole baked ham that was being intended to be served to everyone else on Boxing Day.

Friend rang my mum in tears and in the end they all came round to our house as my DM (as usual) had massively over catered and Boxing Day was saved - hence how I know this story!

Usually had very quiet Christmas as a child
DF took me , about 9 years old to DGPs - a huge loud piss up ( surprising as DF didn’t really drink)
All my cousins were playing in the kitchen, my male cousin about 8 , pulled my top open and tipped a basin of dirty water down my chest , so we started to fight ( like bat at each other )
Drunk auntie , cousins DM, attacked me and somehow I was sent up to the spare room, to remain there for about 3 days, no books, no paper , no tv - to just stare out the window, as somehow I’d spoilt Christmas
Dicks.
I never forgot.
And then I had to hear them all tell my poor DH that I was spoiled
For defending myself /retaliating

@DeltaFlyer - hope you are a long way from those arses now.

2 years ago my step dad would not open my present to him because a week before he had arranged for someone to come up at short notice and I had another plan so could not take them back to the station as he had promised I would (without checking with me). He refused to talk to me too, so Christmas day was miserable. He did not talk to me until March!

Wow, I thought this thread was going to be light-hearted and funny.

for everyone who has such awful Christmas memories.

My mother. A drama every year. Couldn't care less about seeing me, but I'm required for her imagined happy family Christmas every year. This year stands out. She was arguing with me for a month in the run up to Christmas that me and DH were hosting, that we should have ready made veg instead of doing it from scratch. Ended three weeks before Christmas when I told her to drop it, she sent me a huge, abusive text saying she had never been so upset to made to feel like a guest; detailing every fault I had ever had, and demanding we did pre made veg because it was easier. Even though I was doing the cooking myself and all she was bringing was the pudding. It ended after DH messaged her bluntly telling her to get a grip, and she tried to bitch about me to my husband. He told her in no uncertain terms she was being terrible, and that we would be having our own Christmas without her and she could see DS for a few hours on Xmas day. She apologized. To him. Profusely for fifteen minutes. Not for anything in particular, just that she was sorry. Probably realised shed crossed a line. She likes DH and DS you see so wanted them there and unless she tried to pretend she cared they wouldn't come as their loyalty was to me.

I'm only going over this Christmas because DF is very Ill and I love him. Can't imagine it'll be very happy though as their marriage crashed and burned. Just like my relationship with her when she made me cry because I asked her for fifteen minutes of her time to drive me to the supermarket so I could get a bit more to last, instead of relying as I had been on the bus and getting what I could carry. If dad ends up in hospital this Christmas we're not going round....

@TrickorTreacle

Reading the first 4 pages of this thread, I have come to the following conclusion: The in-laws (MIL, FIL etc) have a lot more to answer to than other family members!!!

As for me, I haven't seen any family drama. I guess it's because we never invite any in-laws around. Perfect!

Had a few funny works Christmas dos though:

• one year where a colleague was having an affair and made no effort to hide it due to alcohol consumption. Said colleague spent Christmas alone.

• another year where a different colleague drunk herself to stupidity and made a fool of herself. The CEO was at the same party and colleague got a disciplinary.

• another year where one of the guys had passed out at another venue before the works party started. He was asleep and so missed the party. We didn't know where he was until the day after, so that was a bit of drama there trying to work out where he was and if he was ok etc.

Same here. No real family drama apart from the usual drunken bickering but I did attend a very raucous office party once. It was my first proper job when I was about 18. I worked as an admin assistant for a large organisation and the annual Christmas party was quite a fancy affair, five course meal, free bar, after dinner speakers etc etc. One of the women that worked there who was always very quiet and reserved got absolutely plastered. She was flirting and dancing with two male colleagues and ended up leaving with them. They returned to work on the Monday and told everyone the gory details of what they’d got up to with her, nothing was left to the imagination. She called in sick that Monday and stayed off for two weeks. She finally returned to work for one day then never came back. I often think of it and how embarrassed she must have been. It was 25 years ago and I think if it had happened today there would have been consequences for the men. She went with them willingly but I’m sure people would stop her these days. I hope so anyway

A few years ago, I joined relatives for Xmas who live in the middle of nowhere out way in the country - 4 hours drive plus from where I live. An uncle I’d not seen in a decade was also there who turned out to be in the process of some kind of mental breakdown. He sat on his arse getting smashed, letting everyone do all the work and did the bare minimum. My MIL is a real passive aggressive - was making constant comments etc directed at me, my life etc all day - it got to the evening and I just couldn’t control myself a minute longer so bluntly told her what I thought of her, as well as not to speak to me like that etc. The uncle (who had been sitting rocking in a dark corner watching everybody) suddenly jumped up, ran across the room, grabbed me, pulled me into a bathroom and locked the door with us both in there. He screamed abuse in my face & ranted gobbly gook while holding me against the wall & refusing to let me out. He hadn’t washed in days so just stank on top of it, was a major chain smoker etc. Now bare in mind this is a 6 foot adult and I’m about 5”4. Not a single person answered my ‘calm’ calls for help but eventually after10 or so minutes he seemed to mellow and I made a break for it. I got in my car and left right after that in spite of if being at night - without even saying bye - haven’t been back! Was pretty terrifying!

My stepdad. It was the first year I'd been allowed up for midnight mass so I must have been 8ish? Still very young. We came back from mass, got jammies on and I was allowed to open a present, so this must have been about 1.30 am. He then grabbed me and started tickling me, which he did all the time and I hated. It never went further than that but it was borderline inappropriate and all about control. Fucker. Anyway, I said something like 'put me down, this is the worst Christmas I've ever had' and he literally picked me up, put me outside the front door and locked the door.

I started running up the road towards my grandmother's, my mum eventually caught up with me and brought me back to the house. Thinking about how far I got, it only hits me now that she had to argue with him to get the door open. And he probably hit her because that's what he did.

Anyway, he then spent the whole of Christmas Day sulking in his bed. God I hate him.

”My grandparents also ate all the pigs in blankets the bastards.”

Pigs in blankets for you, @Arethechildreninbedyet.

So me (age 10) my sister (age 24, violent alcoholic and at that time drug addict/sex worker), my mum, my dad and my dads fiancé all at the family home christmas eve. My dads fiancé is being a dick because I wouldn't let her sit in the chair (there were 2 other chairs and the sofa free), ended up telling her to fuck off your not my mum at which my dad runs in and slaps me across the face. So mum kicks off at dad, sister and dads fiancé join in on my mum, it gets physical and im screaming 'get off my mum' and trying to pull them off her. Police turn up (neighbours called them) and my dad and the fiancé are made to leave, my sister whose drunk is made to go in the front room, mum and me go upstairs to master bedroom and police leave. Me and mum go to bed. Next thing I know its early hours an my mums being dragged out of bed by the police, im screaming, absolutely hysterical as don't know whats going on and saying she's been here with me, we havn't left the room. Luckily the police believed me as turns out my sister had taken a carving knife, cut herself up and phoned 999 saying my mum had attacked her.

My eldest first xmas we had my brother over as he was an outcast to the rest of the family on account of his cannabis induced rages and obsessive drinking, coupled with a penchant for crime.

But I felt bad leaving him all alone (and sofa surfing) and given my husband was in the Police and we had a 9 month old baby, honestly how bad could it be.

The answer to that was very bad, and DH had to physically throw my brother out into the street. We are NC now, for many other reasons as well and he is now in his 30s and still a drugs up arsehole.

My brother and his stepdaughter had a screaming match over what gifts she could take to my brother's mother-in-law's house, with my brother telling her she could get out of the house. I stepped in and told him to chill out, and got told to "fuck off" out of his house.

Thankfully he's gotten his act together since then (About eight/nine years ago) but now DS has as little to do with my DB and his wife as possible. For other reasons.

This thread is so sad. I don't remember names but little boy with broken car, the 14 years old with locked of her house, the broken Christmas tree and so many others that were abused by their families. I really hope you have lots happiness and love thrown your way.
Feeling thankfull for my disfunctional but loving family.