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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Visiting baby and vaccine

30 replies

NovRainbow5 · 05/12/2021 11:21

AIBU I’m not letting friends who aren’t vaccinated visit my 4 week old baby?
Friend is conspiracy obsessed over covid, hasn’t been vaccinated, doesn’t do LFT, and hasn’t abided to any rules in lockdown etc as she believes it’s the governments way of controlling us.

Not to drip feed- this is our first (and last) after multiple miscarriages and she has a kidney condition and is on antibiotics for the foreseeable future. She’s been in and out of hospital since she was born due to this.

OP posts:
Serenschintte · 05/12/2021 11:22

It’s your baby and your parental decision.

Teacupsandtoast · 05/12/2021 11:25

Your vaccinated friends could also be carrying covid around unwittingly. But it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask for an lft to be done

secretllama · 05/12/2021 11:28

Fully vaxxed here and think people are daft not to be ... but the vaccine doesn't stop someone spreading covid so I wouldn't stop contact with unvaccinated people, no.

icedcoffees · 05/12/2021 11:29

Being vaccinated doesn't stop you from being a carrier, though.

LivingTheLifeofMum · 05/12/2021 11:30

I think if your baby has any underlying condition you should ask any initial visitors to do a LFT before visiting regardless whether they're vaccinated or not.

HeyFloof · 05/12/2021 11:43

I wouldn't be letting the friend near my hard won and potentially immune compromised baby.

Congratulations on your newborn Flowers

Original poster
NovRainbow5 · 05/12/2021 12:27

100% agree that vaccinated friends could be carrying covid too. I understand my title of the thread isn’t worded correctly- I’m more concerned that friend doesn’t do LFT and won’t isolate either something she doesn’t believe in, where as vaccinated friends do/would do

OP posts:
fakereview · 05/12/2021 13:00

I wouldn't do an LFT because I can't bear things up my nose or down my throat so I would bring a present to your door, wave from a safe distance and depart (I am vaccinated though, needles are fine).

If you don't trust your friend to do LFT or get the vaccine, meet outdoors.

hugr · 05/12/2021 13:01

@icedcoffees

Being vaccinated doesn't stop you from being a carrier, though.
But it does make it much less likely
icedcoffees · 05/12/2021 13:05

But it does make it much less likely

But surely if you were that worried about your baby being exposed, you'd make everyone do a LFT test before visiting, not just the vaccinated?

Awalkintime · 05/12/2021 13:08

Your baby, your choice.

hugr · 05/12/2021 13:09

@icedcoffees

But it does make it much less likely

But surely if you were that worried about your baby being exposed, you'd make everyone do a LFT test before visiting, not just the vaccinated?

Well I am worried about my baby being exposed and do ask that everyone does LFTs before coming and avoid unvaccinated people. You can do both to be really sure, you don't have to only do one or the other.
RuggerHug · 05/12/2021 13:10

With her attitude I can't imagine they would have the sense to stay away or cancel if they had a 'cold' so no I wouldn't be letting them near. Congratulations on your baby!

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 05/12/2021 13:15

Obviously it’s not unreasonable to want to keep your baby healthy. But I think it’s worth asking yourselves, what would we have done in 2019? And then maybe applying these general principles towards your baby’s immune system rather than focussing everything on covid. Eg ask visitors to wash hands, not visit if ill or have a cold sore, not allow children who’ve not have MMR round to play until yours has had theirs etc
Statistically speaking there are still a lot of other conditions that are more likely to cause harm to your baby than covid if you want to be rational about it.

girlmom21 · 05/12/2021 13:18

I would ask her to do a LFT and explain that you'd rather not take the risk with your baby, regardless of her beliefs, and that if she doesn't want to do one you won't be offended but that you kindly ask she stays away for a while.

girlmom21 · 05/12/2021 13:19

@SweetBabyCheeses99

Obviously it’s not unreasonable to want to keep your baby healthy. But I think it’s worth asking yourselves, what would we have done in 2019? And then maybe applying these general principles towards your baby’s immune system rather than focussing everything on covid. Eg ask visitors to wash hands, not visit if ill or have a cold sore, not allow children who’ve not have MMR round to play until yours has had theirs etc Statistically speaking there are still a lot of other conditions that are more likely to cause harm to your baby than covid if you want to be rational about it.
In 2019 we hadn't faced a global pandemic so I don't think it's sensible to act now the way we would have then, while covid is still rife and the op has a vulnerable baby
hugr · 05/12/2021 13:22

Statistically speaking there are still a lot of other conditions that are more likely to cause harm to your baby than covid if you want to be rational about it.

Yeah but most of them aren't pandemic

BeardieWeirdie · 05/12/2021 13:22

I couldn’t be friends with someone who was that moronic anyway. YANBU

AnxiousWeirdo · 05/12/2021 15:38

I know a few people that insist on lft before seeing their babies, I don't think it's an unreasonable request.

5keletor · 05/12/2021 15:56

Being vaccinated won't stop them potentially passing covid on but YANBU as it's your decision as her parent.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 05/12/2021 16:02

If you are exclusively breastfeeding then you will be protecting your baby from all germs. I always think that is cause to relax more around potential infection. I do think it is unreasonable to question vaccination status. Maybe request as LFT? This makes more sense as everyone can pass on Covid. I can't help but think that those trying to grant privileges to people who have had the vaccine, are really just trying to punish people who haven't had the vaccine (and you are probably angry about it).

Original poster
NovRainbow5 · 05/12/2021 16:11

@LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus I’m not exclusively breastfeeding unfortunately. I’m combi feeding. I’m not questioning her decision to have or not have the vaccine that’s completely her own right to choose to have it or not and I’m definitely not angry about it. I’m wondering if I’m being “over the top” I’m not letting people who aren’t vaccinated or won’t take an LFT visit my baby who already has a kidney condition.

OP posts:
Babyiskickingmyribs · 05/12/2021 16:19

Have you spoken to your baby’s doctors about this? I think you are right to be cautious considering her health concerns. But there are more things around than covid that may be more dangerous for her than for a baby who does not have her health issues.

Babyiskickingmyribs · 05/12/2021 16:20

She’ll still be getting some antibodies via your breastmilk even if you’re combi-feeding.

Cuwins · 05/12/2021 16:32

I think I'm your case I would be wanting to ask for an LFT, however how honest is your friend likely to be? Will she say she has done one when she hasn't?
I think if baby is healthy I would only be asking for washing hands, not coming if you feel at all unwell etc.

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