Putting gifted money in DSs bank account?

[PanettoneSeason]

DS turned 1 recently and was given so many beautiful cards and gifts by friends and family. Some family gifted money instead as they were unsure what to get which was also lovely.

He’s 1. Realistically, he needs nothing. He has more clothes, books and toys than some children could ever dream of. So instead of buying him toys etc with the money that was gifted I’ve put it all into his bank account. It can be used at a later date if there’s something that he needs or if not, any gifted money will build up and he can use it as he wishes when he’s older.

Have I made some kind of major parenting faux pas here?! My DM is absolutely affronted 😳 apparently what I’m supposed to do is buy something with the money and let the person who gifted the money know exactly what was bought - or better yet, a picture of DS playing with/wearing said item 😬😳 I’m honestly a bit baffled by it!

Everyone received a personal handwritten thank you note - it’s not like I didn’t acknowledge the gifted money at all! Would you be offended if you had given a money gift in this situation?

YANBU and that is exactly what I do.

I love that you're starting a bank account early! I would be so pleased to know a gift of money was going to that! We have family who put money into our DD2's account for gifts. I will be so happy when she's older she'll have something to invest, help her with Uni or do whatever she decides to do.

Your dm is batsit!

We did the same with dd (and sill do) I do tend to acknowledge that it has been banked for when she sees something.

Don't worry about your mum

You put it away and when he's older it can pay towards big things like garden climbing frame etc.

Ridiculous to spend it just for the sake of it!

I think thats a very old fashioned way of doing things, and people are moving away from it all. As long as you have acknowledged the gift given, ie money, then you absolutely do not need to buy something then send a picture of it!

You are doing the right thing and clearly more sensible than your dm. Think about all the lovely things you could get him as he grows, or all the experience days out that he could have. Or just simply save it for him for when he really needs it.

If he doesn't need anything atm then of course putting it in his bank account is acceptable and sensible.
I did the same thing for our kids. Our eldest gets that money soon as she turns 16 and the account moves to be in her control.

Send them all a picture of a new car and tell them ds is saving for one thanks to them!!

Any money (cash or cheque) that my kids received as gifts when they were really young were put into their bank accounts. Now that they are older (10&13) they want to keep the cash and spend it. Cheques are still banked and if they receive loads of money then some of that is banked too. Your DM is thinking short term which isn't sensible.
If I gave money to a child I would love to think that I am helping out towards uni/first car/home.

Exactly same situation as I have had. Over the years, birthday & Christmas money has bought my two a Wendy house, a slide, and is now getting up to 5 figures. I recently set up another account put £100 in, and showed them their accumulated “birthday” money. They were delighted even though they have shed loads more than this. I’ll split it when they’re 18 & tell them then.

YANBU. we had some family members that would be highly offended if we didnt spend their money when DC were little. So I would take photos with random toys and tell them they bought them.

I do this; if they give you money then it’s your choice what you do with it as long as it goes to your DC. If they felt strongly that they wanted you to buy a toy then they should either send a voucher or more to the point buy something. I feel it’s quite lazy to say here’s some money, buy a toy compared to here’s some money for their savings

Thats exactly what we do with our DS, it makes sense to me, he doesn't need any more toys and it seems selfish to spend it on essentials like clothes that we can afford.

YANBU. It is a sensible way to use the money.

Start a savings account for him.
If he has all the material possessions he needs then buying more is just a waste.

As he gets older encourage him to save some of the money he is given as it will benefit it him in the long run.

We did this with both our children and it meant they could afford driving lessons, a reasonably priced car and the insurance for it without us having to fund it.

They still have money left over and saving is a habit they developed from a young age with our encouragement.

He'll thank you in the long run!!

YANBU, it's a great idea.

The reveal as a teenager of various cash gifts given when I was a small child that had been put into premium bonds until I was old enough to start wanting to spend on larger purchases for myself like concert tickets etc which would otherwise taken years of pocket money savings brought me far more joy than giving toys to a toddler wouldn't even have remembered them.

When DS is sent money, I use it to buy him some premium bonds. It's in his name but linked to my account and I've set it up so if he wins anything, it's automatically used to buy more premium bonds

If they wanted your DC to have a toy, they would've bought the toy themselves. They've given money because they want you to have the choice. Your DC will have a lifetime of needing things in the future, so save the money for when it is needed - don't waste it by buying for the sake of it.

Yanbu! That's what we do. In fact, GPs no longer give money as presents, they just put it straight into savings bonds.

This is exactly what I do and have done since my daughter was two. She has more than enough clothes and toys and everything she could possibly want/need so it makes perfect sense to me. There’s no point in buying things for the sake of buying when the money can be saved for when they’re older.

Well if you're wrong then we are too! Every penny of christening, birthday and Christmas money has gone in our children's bank accounts (that we also pay into each month, just a small amount but it all adds up). We opened them when they were about six months old.

They have all the clothes and toys that they could need, to buy more when it's not needed would be wasteful. We'd never ask for money as a gift but if people choose to give that then it goes away for them to have when they're older. We still send a thank you note, obviously.

All the money my kids were given as babies we opened a bank account with. Then half the money they get at Xmas and birthdays every year go’s in too. The rest is theirs to buy whatever they want.

They all know it’s there and we have on occasion let them use some, dd wanted a more expensive camera for gcse photography for example.

Ds turns 18 in a couple of months and he has about 7k in his which is a nice start to adult life. Much better than spent on more toys he didn’t need when he was little.

You’ve done the right thing. Your mother is mental.

Thanks everyone! I was pretty sure that it wouldn’t be offensive to most people! As others have said, if they wanted to gift something specific then they would have!

Premium Bonds are a good idea too! I hadn’t thought of those 😊 At the moment it all just goes into a Child Saver account that automatically is given to him at 16.

Spending for the sake of spending at this age just seems crazy when he could do so much with that money in the future! I never had anything like that at all (maybe because my mum bought toys and took photos 🤣🤣) but I know friends did and it meant them having that little bit away to towards car/house deposit etc 😊

As a mum to teens don't leave it in an account they get access to at 16 😉