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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wish schools would scrap Christmas jumper day?

408 replies

Notspeakingup · 04/12/2021 17:59

DC2 has a couple of little classmates with difficult home lives, one in particular without much money. There are some Christmas jumper days coming up and I have been thinking about how tough it must be to always be the child with no jumper.

I know as children grow up you can't avoid the inequalities but it would be great if we could at least stop it being an issue at primary school. (And of course there are the families who buy jumpers when they can't really afford them).

OP posts:
EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 04/12/2021 19:46

@Meowenstein

I’m not in the UK, but here schools can’t do stuff that requires families to pay for stuff, not even ask them to bring an apple for an outing. School lunches up to age 18 are also free. We don’t have school uniforms either, they can wear what they want. It works well.
Which country is this, please? It sounds like such an interesting system.
Whoopsies · 04/12/2021 19:47

At my ds's school they can wear their Christmas jumpers instead of their school jumper every Friday for the half term before Christmas, at least this gets some wear out of it!!

rightsideoftheroad · 04/12/2021 19:48

I hate all of this - xmas jumper day, wear yellow for children in need, wear polka dots. I saw parents on FB panicking because they had got to asda and they had sold out of yellow clothes for children in need, all I could think was how lucky yoy are that you can afford to go to a supermarket and buy new clothes for some made up day at school.

It's all so wasteful, puts pressure on parents and leaves less fortunate children out.

ancientgran · 04/12/2021 19:48

@Bunnyfuller

It’s not just the Christmas jumper though, is it? World book day, Harry Potter day, bloody so many dress-up days. (There were a lot more but I can’t remember!)

Environmentally negligent and socially ignorant. Come on teachers, you can do better than this.

I always thought world book day should be bring in your favourite book.

I used to work with someone who had been a primary school teacher. One day she came in moaning about having to sort out a costume for her child. I told her it was justice and she should think about all the parents who had cursed her in the past for doing the same thing.

She said she felt bad about it now but hadn't thought about it at the time.

The one I lost it with was "Miss says you have to make pancakes for us today." I expressed my feelings about Miss after a hectic day at work a screaming toddler and no positive feelings about pancake Tuesday. I felt if it was that important to Miss she could come round and make them.

Bwix · 04/12/2021 19:49

What bothers me is that they’re largely made of synthetic material: landfill fodder waiting to happen.

2020nymph · 04/12/2021 19:50

@mayblossominapril

I think it would be good if there was more of a second hand trade in Christmas jumpers at school. Both to provide cheap Christmas jumpers and raise a little money. I carefully choose the Christmas pjs and he wears the top as his Christmas jumper then after that wears them as pjs until he grows out of them!

DS school do have a second hand Christmas jumper sale but as it was only advertised a week ago they didn't get many donations.

They also have six Christmas jumper days.

ancientgran · 04/12/2021 19:52

@Lockdownbear

Ours was scrapped by the new HT, dress down day instead. She has done a few things to reduce costs for parents.

The orher thing is whole class swapping Christmas cards she calculated 500 kids each sending 30 cards is 15,000 cards that all end up in recycling.
But the cost of 30 cards adds up too esp if you've more than one child to buy for.

Where I worked we had a big Christmas poster on the wall and you could sign it instead of individual cards. We asked for a donation for a charity but it was voluntary.

Schools could do something like that, the poster I mean not the donations.

I loved it, writing the Christmas cards isn't my favourite activity.

Practicebeingpatient · 04/12/2021 19:52

@catgirl1976

YANBU

I just spent £20 on a jumper that will be worn once (and maybe once next year by his cousin if I remember to hand it down). We can afford it but I did think I bet a lot cannot and it seems wasteful as well in terms of almost single use fashion.

I have a Christmas dress, Christmas pjs and a Christmas jumper. I've owned them all for at least 10 years. This year I've added a Christmas t shirt. I hope this little lot will see me out ( and I'm not THAT old, I expect to live for another 2O years or so).

Obviously children can't wear the same clothes for 20 years but surely there are ways parents can work around this. Buy them big so they last a couple of years, talk to another family at school and arrange swaps, buy second hand, tack tinsel from the decoration box around the neck and cuffs of an existing sweater (Always my fall back ).

We aren't passengers in life. We have choices. If financial or environmental choices mean you want to opt out of rampant consumerism then just do it. The more of us that refuse to buy into all this , the quicker it will die out.

2beautifulbabs · 04/12/2021 19:53

Agree I thought I may have gotten away with not buying my reception aged DS a Christmas jumper this year and just a long sleeved Christmas type top instead that I know he will get a lot more wear out of it as it's characters from his fav tv show.
But his school have insisted on Christmas jumpers for school concerts so I've bought him one but know he won't wear it more than a few times.
I've not bought one for my youngest DD who's not in school yet because I too feel they are a waste of money but she has lots of lovely winter jumpers that she can wear all the time instead.
I'm also dreading the extra costs now of having to donate more money to other things that you know will pop up during the last two weeks of school for some form of fundraising or donating for something.
Then the usual buying cards and gifts for teachers etc etc just all adds up for what's normally a very expensive time for families without these added expenses and pressures to make sure your child isn't the one left out.

Kljnmw3459 · 04/12/2021 19:54

I'm so glad our school doesn't do it this year. My DC still remembers his class mates laughing at his make do jumper that he had decorated himself with christmassy stickers etc because we couldn't afford to buy him one and charity shop didn't have any. That happened couple of years ago when he was in infants and he still refuses to partake in it now.

AnOldCynic · 04/12/2021 19:54

I'm lucky. My son has always refused to wear them 😊

foxgoosefinch · 04/12/2021 19:55

Yanbu. DD’s school just says either a Christmas jumper or own clothes, whatever they prefer. Quite a few mums improvise with a bit of tinsel pinned on a jumper or a festive headband or similar! Much more relaxed. DD is insisting on wearing a Harry Potter top, so I may have to pin a bit of tinsel on Hedwig’s head or something 🤣

Meowenstein · 04/12/2021 19:55

@EmbarrassingHadrosaurus Scandinavian country. Children call teachers by their first name. We’ve lived in three countries, this is the school system I definately prefer though.

Meowenstein · 04/12/2021 19:56

@EmbarrassingHadrosaurus Sweden to be more precise. 😅

JustLyra · 04/12/2021 19:57

The HT at DD's school has done a lot to try and reduce costs for families.

She wanted to scrap Chrismtas jumper day, but it cause a lot of drama (she will eventually). So she persuaded a local business guy to donate a jumper for every child. Parents were then encouraged to donate the jumper back to the school at the end of term (plus any others). They were then washed by some kindly PTA volunteers and stored for the following year. There is a box in reception and some well off parents still donate cash for Christmas jumper day and that buys the odd jumper here and there that's needed.

She also scrapped Christmas card swapping. Each child writes one card (provided by the PTA) to another child in the school. They're encouraged to tell them a little about themselves and then on Christmas dinner day they are at the same table so can have a chat. It's a lovely idea.

They also have a thriving school uniform bank and outfit/costume bank as well. Although she's also used covid to massively simplify the uniform, and there's been far fewer costume days.

Ridiculously a lot of parents complain about her because of those things. They all seem to go down the "you can't take away differences" - which is true. But as she says - there's no need for kids to be slapped in the face with them in a place they have to spend a huge chunk of time.

Original poster
Notspeakingup · 04/12/2021 19:57

@Kljnmw3459 that's terrible.

OP posts:
Meowenstein · 04/12/2021 19:57

*definitely

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 04/12/2021 19:58

[quote Meowenstein]@EmbarrassingHadrosaurus Scandinavian country. Children call teachers by their first name. We’ve lived in three countries, this is the school system I definately prefer though.[/quote]
Sweden - thank you so much because it sounds like there's so much good practice there that I wonder why it's not been adopted elsewhere.

Restart10 · 04/12/2021 20:00

Yanbu at all op. My dd is in a private school and I am absolutely shocked at the amount of events that they have been having. Even though you could assume as it's private these things are affordable, but it's as if the school just assumes that it's not even a consideration. I grew up as the kid not being able to participate in such events, and I am always aware of that. I really feel for the children who know the difference.

Lovemusic33 · 04/12/2021 20:00

We have a local charity shop that has a huge selection of Christmas jumpers prices from £1-£5. I don’t think it’s hard to get hold of a Christmas jumper or to pin a few things to a normal jumper. It’s meant to be fun and raises money for charity.

My dd hates wearing a jumper so wears a Christmas t-shirt instead.

People need to stop buying new every year, buy a larger size and make it last a few years or buy 2nd hand.

Original poster
Notspeakingup · 04/12/2021 20:00

@JustLyra she sounds great.
They all seem to go down the "you can't take away differences" - which is true. But as she says - there's no need for kids to be slapped in the face with them in a place they have to spend a huge chunk of time. Yes!

OP posts:
santabetterwashhishands · 04/12/2021 20:01

My kids wear them als much as they can in December so yabu 🤷‍♀️
But I do think schools will could ask for dronations of outgrown ones or not needed ones so the parents who can't afford could grab one for their children

EnidFrighten · 04/12/2021 20:02

It's dd's first year of it as she's in reception. I could afford to buy one, but I don't bloody want to! And getting a charity shop one still requires trawling around to find one. Couldn't they wear red or green or something else instead?

mumofthemonsters808 · 04/12/2021 20:04

My kids primary school in a very deprived area was excellent in ensuring no kid was excluded from anything because their parents couldn’t afford them to participate.

Each class had donated Christmas Jumpers for those who didn’t have their own.The same with colour days, lots of spare outfits.Any raffles saw those who had not been able to afford to buy tickets receiving 2 free ones. The school fair saw them issued with 3 free turns on the different stalls.If those parents who could afford to pay, had forgotten something special was happening in school, their children would also receive these things.Even the residential trip had the option to pay over 18 months and a statement that they did not want any child excluded due to parents being unable to afford to send them and would come to some arrangement.

it really was a kind, nurturing environment and for me that’s exactly how schools should operate.

Mulhollandmagoo · 04/12/2021 20:04

Yeah, I completely agree with you, it's so wasteful and a lot of pressure on families who are tight financially, especially at the moment as covid has hit lots of people hard. It's also rough for parents who work full time or have other heavy commitments, it's just one more thing to add onto the to do list for them. I feel the same about world book day, and pudsey day too, and I'm sure there are loads of others!