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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Emma Tustin: cctv

79 replies

LosingTheWill2 · 03/12/2021 22:37

I haven’t watched any of the footage or listened to any of the recordings. But I don’t understand how there is cctv footage from inside her house.

AIBU?

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 04/12/2021 08:50

Oh yes, the world definitely needs Jackie from St Albans' opinion on why Tustin became a child killer.

As much as we need OhRexy's from The Ether, I suppose.

OP asked what we thought.

There are several threads in which people are discussing watching these recordings, with some people even suggesting it's a moral duty to do so, and the sign of a higher level empath.

DrSbaitso · 04/12/2021 08:52

@OhRexy

I'm sorry I know that was a flippant response and I'm going to shut up now but it's making me, and others who have commented, uncomfortable.

You all get on with it.

It completely missed the point I was making, Jackie. Perhaps my post was too subtle for you.
Bagelsandbrie · 04/12/2021 08:52

I can’t understand why someone would open a thread where the content is obvious to tell others they shouldn’t post on that thread? It’s easy to just avoid or hide the threads you’re not interested in or don’t want to discuss.

I think it’s good people are talking about this so much. The more people are horrified by child abuse and the more people talk about how it happens / why it happens the better.

rightsideoftheroad · 04/12/2021 08:54

@Thefirsttime what an odd response. You can't 'claim' the case as yours because you've followed it for longer than others. People are allowed to ask and you don't have to answer

rightsideoftheroad · 04/12/2021 08:58

@OhRexy, @DrSbaitso was making a sarcastic response about why they would have CCTV in their house while abusing a child. You've actually managed to derail the thread so much that you've confused yourself.

KaptainKaveman · 04/12/2021 09:01

@BurnedToast

What is it with all these threads about this topic? I do not understand why some of you have got so entrenched in this hideous situation that you're sat at home watching and listening to footage of this little boys suffering. Why? What does it give you? It just seems mawkish to me.
Agree 100%.

Clearly there is a group of people who are really enjoying the brutality and high drama of this case. OP why did you start this thread? are you enjoying all this? you certainly sound like you are. Hmm
And don't give us that BS about "weeping my heart out and hugging my dc extra tight today" bollocks. It's like a soap opera to some folk, it would appear.

These threads luxuriating in a child's murder are disgusting, intrusive and mawkish.

OhRexy · 04/12/2021 09:03

[quote rightsideoftheroad]@OhRexy, @DrSbaitso was making a sarcastic response about why they would have CCTV in their house while abusing a child. You've actually managed to derail the thread so much that you've confused yourself.[/quote]
I did misunderstand what @DrSbaitso was replying to, so my apologies for that.

OwlInBatter · 04/12/2021 09:04

@Bagelsandbrie I agree that it's ok (and indeed, normal of course) to want to talk about it and feel utterly shocked. Any right thinking human feels like this

But to have long running dedicated threads about this little boy's suffering where the minutiae of his sad life is picked over just seems wrong to me. Following the case daily for months, it's just overstepping a barrier.

His life isn't some sort of true crime documentary and it doesn't feel particularly healthy to me

DrSbaitso · 04/12/2021 09:05

Thank you, @OhRexy, I appreciate that.

ronniz · 04/12/2021 09:05

What is it with all these threads about this topic? I do not understand why some of you have got so entrenched in this hideous situation that you're sat at home watching and listening to footage of this little boys suffering. Why? What does it give you? It just seems mawkish to me.

Thank you for saying this. I've heard about the video but not watched it as I find the idea uncomfortable. And then this weird almost competition ish vibe about who is the most impacted by it.

ronniz · 04/12/2021 09:08

I don’t think we should be policing what people can or can’t post / feel. It’s a very emotive topic and it’s okay to want to talk about it.

The issue I find weird is people make it about them. Absolutely fine to talk about improvements to SC or how to identify these kids or what society should be doing more of etc

theriverrunsthrough · 04/12/2021 09:13

I dont enjoy the drama but it should be talked about every day. Kermani Watson is another little boy toddler who's mother beat him to death. Star Hobson, another little girl toddler who was beat to death by her mum and mums girlfriend. Verphy Kudi who left her baby in a flat alone for six days

These children need to be on every ones lips to high light how many children are being failed instead of when the TV news article has finished going back to making toast/painting nails/washing hair.

It might seem distasteful to some but it needs to be constantly discussed

ronniz · 04/12/2021 09:19

Yes it should be talked about because it keeps happening & we shouldn't forgot the names of those children. But that's not what some of the threads or posts are about.

Lovemusic33 · 04/12/2021 09:21

Surely it’s ok for people to ask these questions? People want to know and there’s many possibilities as to why they had CCTV. From what I read they sent photos of the poor boy suffering to each other. The whole case is very upsetting and disturbed.

I do have a couple cameras in my house, my dd has ASD and often pinches things (food) so I have cameras linked to my Alexa so I can check what she’s up too, these only turn in when I ask them too and are used for DD’s safety. I’m sure there are people who have similar. Not saying this is the reason but just trying to explain why others may use them.

The only video footage I have seen is the poor little boy in the living room trying to lift a duvet off the floor 😢, I wish I hadn’t seen it. What this little boy went through is just awful.

oakleaffy · 04/12/2021 09:30

@LosingTheWill2

I haven’t watched any of the footage or listened to any of the recordings. But I don’t understand how there is cctv footage from inside her house.

AIBU?

The brute Tustin installed CCTV to monitor Arthur.

She really is up there alongside Hindley with her brutality.
hideous, dead eyed thing she looks.

Hopefully CCTV will be in her cell so her every action is watched to prevent the beast from taking it's own life.

ronniz · 04/12/2021 09:30

I think it's fine to ask questions about CCTV.

If it was my dc I would feel uncomfortable with people outside of court watching his distress & I consider it an invasion of privacy. I feel similar when people film others dying because of an accident or disaster. I think everyone deserves dignity but that is shaped because I wouldn't want myself or my loved ones filmed. Others I assume don't mind. I also find it uncomfortable when people discuss how much the video has impacted them, because I'm not sure that's the point.

YourVagesty · 04/12/2021 09:43

Such an argumentative thread.

This story is all over the media and it is horrifying. People don't understand it and people have questions.

Why others would decide on their behalf that they can't talk about it/ask questions/post more threads on MN, is beyond me.

Flapjacker48 · 04/12/2021 09:44

Read any newpaper/news website or the threads on here. What do you really want from this thread OP? More gratuitous daily mail type headlines/comments?

authenticforgery · 04/12/2021 10:00

@BurnedToast

What is it with all these threads about this topic? I do not understand why some of you have got so entrenched in this hideous situation that you're sat at home watching and listening to footage of this little boys suffering. Why? What does it give you? It just seems mawkish to me.
This. Its really uncomfortable. I can understand reading the odd article and keeping up with the news generwlly but these grief ghouls are utter weirdos. They almost relish in discussing every distressing detail and compete over who knows the most about it. The same thing happened with Sarah Everard's case. It's disturbing.
Pumperthepumper · 04/12/2021 10:05

For me, it’s the idea that this grief competitiveness is OK because it’s ‘raising awareness’.

We don’t need to raise more awareness - people are already perfectly aware of children being abused and do absolutely nothing. What we need is better funded social care.

So if you want to something, write to your GP and donate to the NSPCC. Don’t come on mumsnet to indulge yourself in how affected you are because you chose to watch a video of a boy being abused.

Mumtwoboys90 · 04/12/2021 10:09

Are you actually trying to big yourself up here? How territorial of you. How wierd.

Seriously. Wtf.
Get over yourself.

THIS
how fucked up and yes seriously weird

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 04/12/2021 10:12

Don't come on Mumsnet to indulge yourself in how affected you are because you chose to watch a video of a bit being abused
Amen to that!

ronniz · 04/12/2021 10:18

@Pumperthepumper agree

LuluBlakey1 · 04/12/2021 10:21

It is terrible and tragic but crying over Arthur is pointless now- we should be tackling parents who abuse and neglect their children so those suffering now have better lives.

I think, sadly, many children live in homes like this- not as extreme, but homes where relationships and families are chaotic, drugs and/or booze are a part of daily life, parents and their partners (who often have no attachment to the child if he/she isn't theirs and see him/her as a nuisance) are not really focussed on providing a loving, stable, caring upbringing for children and do neglect them in all kinds of ways- crap food, shouting, not providing comfort, having no time for them, never reading with or playing with them, not modelling good parenting, the odd smack. Many children live with it daily and accept it as normal and there are far too many for any system to deal with.
Lots of parenting is this country is appallingly poor. That is what we should be addressing. I don't know how but we should. Arthur lived in a chaotic, disfunctional, feckless family and was very vulnerable. The family and every system failed him- that's what we have to stop happening.

AngryAtAssholes · 04/12/2021 10:24

I think most people are ruminating on it because they are shocked at the brutality of the case - how such torture could be inflicted on a child and reported to police, SS, school, relatives raising concerns etc and nothing be done.

On another platform someone was discussing how labelling people like Tustin and Hughes monsters and othering them as ‘not like us’ is part of the failure to address this level of abuse and who commits it. And how common it can be.

The hairdresser and her partner who witnessed Arthur’s state for example and did nothing - if they saw Tustin as ‘one of them’ and not ‘a monster’ then it was easier for them to not get involved or dismiss things, because only ‘monsters’ torture and abuse children, not ‘people like us’. Not people we like.
Abuse thrives on this kind of thinking.

And we are all capable of that kind of cognitive dissonance.

We need to change how we think about people who commit abuse : not to give them sympathy or excuses but to address the warning signs that people are capable of and committing it. Abusers - of all kinds - are people like us, people we know, like and love.

We live beside them, work with them, socialise with them, admire them. They are not some different, awful class of people we only come into contact with through news stories like this.

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