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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with my manager

63 replies

WearingMyCloakOfInvisibility · 03/12/2021 21:48

I'm NHS and like most hospitals our department is struggling with staffing levels and recruitment.
Yesterday during a procedure, patient on the table, all of us standing within three feet of each other, the Consultant, who has been taking an active part in the future planning, asked my manager how things were going.

The conversation went like this:

"So when's T starting?"
"Not...problems..."
"Well you've got X doing bank?"
Nod
"And Y doing more hours?"
Nod
"And you'll be training up 'keen new person' and 'Invisible person'?"
"Yes"

I'm fuming. I know full well what extra training is planned and I'm not happy for good reasons. But I'm really furious because clearly this discussion has been going on for a little while with no mention to me, and then they had this conversation right there as if I didn't exist.

(Or the patient, whose hand I was holding whilst offering reassurance).

But this is about ME. And I'm bloody cross and offended. AIBU?

OP posts:
treesandweeds · 03/12/2021 21:59

Think you need training in telling a story for starters!

Original poster
WearingMyCloakOfInvisibility · 03/12/2021 22:00

Yes the patient was conscious. Elderly and deaf. Wink
Maybe they think I am too!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 03/12/2021 22:00

@MaggieFS

Gosh I'm confused and I haven't even had a drink.
Think the op has.
NerrSnerr · 03/12/2021 22:02

I'd take the term 'training up' to mean giving you additional training to support your job role, not necessarily that they think you're not performing ok. It's good they're investing in you.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 03/12/2021 22:04

But you knew the training was happening so this wasn’t sprung on you OP. What’s the issue?

Original poster
WearingMyCloakOfInvisibility · 03/12/2021 22:06

Think you need training in telling a story for starters!

Oh dear. Sorry. I should just start again.

There are ongoing issues about out of hours coverage which we do as a good will thing, there is no official on call. Occasionally there are more complex emergencies which I'm not signed off to cover. I cover the regular urgent procedures. I have no desire to cover the more complex things for various reasons, including the lack of additional support at night which is a patient safety issue - my experienced colleagues are welcome to it but I'm not happy and others agree. Also, as these things don't crop up often, maybe once a month, it is difficult to get sufficient experience to feel confident to go it alone. I have no intention of doing it. We don't have an official, paid on all rota. We do it as a good will thing. I won't be answering the phone. It's as simple as that.

OP posts:
CheshireSplat · 03/12/2021 22:07

@WearingMyCloakOfInvisibility

So you’re having to do extra training for something and they discussed it in front of you without discussing it with you.

@DukkaTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly has it.

Apologies for my lack of clarity.

It's not all down to the wine. Trying not to be identifiable and give too much detail for obvious reasons. Plus that extra glass. Wink

Your username was a big clue.... Enjoy the wine. A consultant being rude, surely not!
Shedmistress · 03/12/2021 22:08

Ok. Cool. Don't then.

BurntO · 03/12/2021 22:08

I wouldn’t care it all…there is constant talk about training and upskilling at my work, it’s all very open…maybe your work culture is different

Original poster
WearingMyCloakOfInvisibility · 03/12/2021 22:09

But you knew the training was happening so this wasn’t sprung on you OP. What’s the issue?

No. There's an issue of only a very few people being able to cover these procedures. It's been an ongoing issue for some time, a senior person retired earlier this year, further reducing the numbers and someone else has long term off sick.

But it has not been raised or discussed with me that I should get up to speed to be available for this. No one has mentioned this to me.
Then they go and discuss it in front of me without so much as a word about it to me!

At the very least it's jolly rude.

OP posts:
Mantlemoose · 03/12/2021 22:11

No wonder the nhs is on its knees......

edwinbear · 03/12/2021 22:18

I get it OP. People have clearly made a decision about you, decided you will take on more responsibility, and be trained up to do so, without discussing it with you first. And then openly chatted about it in front of you, as if you’re not there - in the middle of a procedure.

Yeah, I’d be pissed off too, it would be like my line manager and his boss deciding between themselves that I should change roles without talking to me, then bringing it up in the middle of a client meeting.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 03/12/2021 22:20

Right, ok, I now understand. So why didn’t/don’t you just speak to your manager and tell them you won’t be doing the training? Instead of seething yourself into an incomprehensible rage on MN?

Original poster
WearingMyCloakOfInvisibility · 03/12/2021 22:21

Thank you @edwinbear

My original post was obviously a bit opaque and I've been sitting here feeling peeved and awarding myself an extra glass for the insult and obviously definitely won't be answering the phone tonight. Someone else like my manager can pick up.

OP posts:
tallduckandhandsome · 03/12/2021 22:25

YANBU, are they planning to pay you?

DukkaTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 03/12/2021 22:27

And being the nhs this is something you’ll be expected to just carry out, you won’t go up a band or get a pay rise. You’ll be expected to just do it.

5128gap · 03/12/2021 22:30

You are annoyed because they spoke about you as though you weren't there which is high handed. Its also rude and distracting to talk about this sort of thing in front of a patient. With regards to the conversations having taken place, managers obviously discuss and plan staff development with each other, and often before discussing it with the staff concerned. If the training is within the remit of your job role, its not unreasonable for them to get you to do it.

Original poster
WearingMyCloakOfInvisibility · 03/12/2021 22:35

So why didn’t/don’t you just speak to your manager and tell them you won’t be doing the training?

Well I think it's for her to raise it with me and suggest that this would be desirable and how do I feel about it?

It was raised by my previous manager pre Covid and the plan was that I should have a one month training secondment to the nearby (not conveniently nearby) tertiary referral hospital where I would get loads of concentrated experience and return fully competent.

There's no question of this happening now so it would be more likely to be a hodgepodge of occasional hands on when the occasion arises and there are enough staff on duty to allow for one to be a supernumerary trainee.

This isn't about a career progression opportunity. It's about on call availability whilst not having an official, paid, on call system.

OP posts:
godmum56 · 03/12/2021 22:42

don't get involved with goodwill on call. When the poo hits the fan, and it will, you will be the one stood bang in front of the fan....honestly as an ex NHS manager and clinician don't do it.

nocoolnamesleft · 03/12/2021 22:46

The main problem isn't the conversation. Though having it in front of a patient is wrong. The main problem is "We don't have an official, paid on call rota. We do it as a good will thing."

It took me ages to realise that NHS managers don't value what they can morally blackmail for free. You need to be paid for being oncall. That will make them set it up as a proper rota. Resourcing it. Otherwise they won't do anything about it until one night no one answers the phone, and a patient is impacted.

godmum56 · 03/12/2021 22:48

@nocoolnamesleft

The main problem isn't the conversation. Though having it in front of a patient is wrong. The main problem is "We don't have an official, paid on call rota. We do it as a good will thing."

It took me ages to realise that NHS managers don't value what they can morally blackmail for free. You need to be paid for being oncall. That will make them set it up as a proper rota. Resourcing it. Otherwise they won't do anything about it until one night no one answers the phone, and a patient is impacted.

could you please say SOME Nhs managers? Many of the colleagues i worked with are still within the NHS (all younger than me) and they are strenuously against working for goodwill, for the love of it or any other bloody con,
Unmerited · 03/12/2021 22:51

It sounds like there are two problems, one is that you’re being presumably teed up to do something you’re uncomfortable with and that has potential safety issues. And two, that it was brought up during a patient procedure, but not addressed to you. They were talking about you.

Yes, that’s crap. Both what they’re potentially wanting to do and the manner in which you found out. Deafness aside - they’re risking you raising the safety issue in front of a patient…

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 03/12/2021 22:54

Well I think it's for her to raise it with me and suggest that this would be desirable and how do I feel about it?

But she hasn’t, and you’re an adult, so…

Pallisers · 03/12/2021 22:54

Could you not have said "Gosh I'm right here and this is the first I've heard of it - looking forward to chatting properly later"?

I appreciate you were taken by surprise - and talking about people in front of them as if they aren't there (and managerial functions nothing to do with other people in the room) is highly inappropriate.

CoachBeardless · 03/12/2021 22:58

I have no idea what is going on with this thread, and I'm slightly high.