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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell DH he cannot fart as he pleases in the house

61 replies

Loganberry14 · 03/12/2021 09:44

My DH has a tendency to do really, really stinky farts. Literally smells like something died. I've always found them a bit annoying, as when I was growing up we would never fart in front of each other, it was just accepted that if we needed to fart we would go in another room where possible. But now I'm pregnant and the smell is making me feel physically sick.

I've started to get quite annoyed with him and asked him to try and go to the loo to fart if possible. But he just rolls his eyes and then 5 mins later does another one and then looks mock guilty and laughs. His family all do it at Christmas as well - they are nearly all men and there must be some kind of rancid fart gene. Last time I was there I had to leave the house in the evening to get fresh air, it was that bad. I'm genuinely a bit worried about going there again this year and it being even worse because of being pregnant.

AIBU to be annoyed with DH/in laws?

OP posts:

cultkid · 03/12/2021 09:58

What a dick

I've been with my husband for ten years and we always leave the room to fart

Why is he being so disgusting and disrespectful

It's not about being ashamed of bodily functions it's about being a knob and disrespectful

Where is the romance

Tell him you don't want to have sex with him as he is disgusting

Santaischeckinglists · 03/12/2021 09:59

Yabu to have tied yourself to such a family. Fucking grim.

Pegasussnail · 03/12/2021 10:01

Totally grim.
He's obviously never been taught manners

fairislecable · 03/12/2021 10:01

Spray his rear end with a really sickly fragrance each time he does it. He may not find it quite so amusing.

Blinkingheckythump · 03/12/2021 10:01

I can't get too worked up about farts. But that's different when you're pregnant and sensitive to smells.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/12/2021 10:01

Can you muster up a literal vomit on him next time? Don't hold back.

DH and I do fart in front of each other, but they're not especially offensive and it isn't often. So I don't think in general he'd be wrong but it sounds like he has poor gut health.

What's his diet like? Any signs of IBS etc?

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 03/12/2021 10:03

Seriously inconsiderate, especially given the pregnancy.

Sunshineandflipflops · 03/12/2021 10:03

I always felt like I was in the minority when I was married as my exh and I never farted intentionally in front of each other. I wanted to stay attracted my him and vice versa and I don't find farting in the slightest bit attractive or endearing.

I realise that sometimes it can't be helped and that's different but the intentional, exaggerated farts some men (and perhaps women) do and then find it funny is beyond me and just reminds me of growing up with an older brother.

So no YANBU and I would find it repulsive. The fact all his family do it too...gross.

oldwhyno · 03/12/2021 10:07

He quite possibly has a dietary intollerance he's unaware of. Ecourage him to see his GP.

TractorAndHeadphones · 03/12/2021 10:07

Bloody disgusting

Tal45 · 03/12/2021 10:07

If you knew he did this from the start then YABU to expect him to change it now. I would look at his diet though and see if you can work out what's causing it - onion and garlic perhaps? Food intolerance is often the culprit and onion and garlic are the biggest culprits.

MollysDolly · 03/12/2021 10:09

Farting in his own home, fine. More respectful to leave the room, but each to their own.

What you're talking about is different. He's doing something (that happens to be farting) that causes you to feel sick because you are pregnant. So that needs to stop. You're asking him to stop doing the thing that makes you feel sick in pregnancy. It's no different to me having to tell DH I couldn't stomach the smell of his aftershave in pregnancy. So, he stopped wearing it. He needs to stop doing what is making you feel sick when he is around you, whether it be farting, aftershave, smoking, whatever.

Phrenologistsfinger · 03/12/2021 10:09

The best thing about a veggie partner is their farts don’t smell anyway near as bad. He doesn’t fart like yours does but it can happen rarely. Suggest he sorts his diet out - more veg, less meat and processed food as his colon doesn’t sound too happy.

StrongSunglasses · 03/12/2021 10:13

That’s revolting. I have an ex who had extremely putrid arse and that’s one of the many reasons I’m pleased to see (but not smell) the back him 😂.

When he’d eaten a certain fruit it was out of this world and I had to fashion some nostril extensions out of straws stuck together creating two long tubes which I’d put the ends outside the room/out the window, and greedily suck fresh air rather than imbibe the thick shitty air he created.

It did actually work lol but didn’t stop him as he saw it as a dirty medallion of achievement/funny.

Aside from breathing straws or breaking up (both worked for me), maybe keep a candle lit?

Just remembered another practical tip is always keep a lighter to hand so you can burn it off as it reaches you, waving it around like you’re cleansing your aura until it fades is definitely better than passively being engulfed in his poo particles.

hotmeatymilk · 03/12/2021 10:16

Grim. But you did choose to marry him knowing he did this: it’s not new.

murasaki · 03/12/2021 10:17

I once febreezed my partner, he got the point and hasn't done it since.

MonkeyToez · 03/12/2021 10:19

Never would I agree to drop everything I'm doing and leave the room every time I need to fart, what a bizarre request.

I'm pregnant with awful sickness and when a smell bothers me I leave the room myself, such as every single time my partner feeds the cats.

If smells are really bothering you then keep something nice smelling around to cover the occasional unpleasant one.

Tenementfunster · 03/12/2021 10:21

Stongsunglasses. The nose straws!!! That is hilarious 😂

MorningNinja · 03/12/2021 10:21

I'd struggle to get past the complete disrespect that was being shown to me. He's showing complete disregard for you.

Does he disrespect and dismiss you in other ways OP?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 03/12/2021 10:23

I think it's a complete passion killer. Its really hard to look at someone who absolutely stinks and think you fancy them. I'd try and approach it from this angle

Aquamarine1029 · 03/12/2021 10:24

Farm animals have better manners. Did you really expect him and his family to change? What you smell is what you get. Very grim.

Sunshineandflipflops · 03/12/2021 10:24

How often are people needing to fart?!

If you can do it discreetly (which I have managed the majority of the time for 43 years) then fine but the exaggerated farts are very unnecessary and unattractive. And if you know they smell that bad then yes, I think it's perfectly reasonable to leave the room - why wouldn't you?! Making other people gag intentionally is not funny.

Latte40 · 03/12/2021 10:25

A box or 2 of matches around- ask him to strike one to absorb the smell when he does it. Really when you're pregnant it's not on.

HadaVerde · 03/12/2021 10:28

Being pregnant it must be worse and I have sympathy for that.

However you clearly had an issue with it before you were pregnant.

Overreactions about normal bodily functions are quite ridiculous IMO.

Original poster

Loganberry14 · 03/12/2021 10:29

@StrongSunglasses 'passively being engulfed in his poo particles' haha! It feels like that!

No he really isn't a disrespectful person generally, he's the best. I've been with men in the past who gaslight etc so it just isn't anywhere close to being in that space. He just can't seem to get past the fact that he just thinks it's funny and I'm being unreasonable to be annoyed about it. I want to be able to explain that it is actually upsetting me because of the pregnancy thing but he just isn't getting it. I guess probably worth trying again at a moment where I'm less immediately annoyed. I'm more concerned about saying something to his in laws at xmas because it feels mortifying, but I just think fgs it's polite to leave the room - can they not smell it?!

The Febreze idea is a great one too... Maybe I'll pack some in my Xmas bag/distribute bottles of it to his dad/brothers/uncle

OP posts:

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