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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feel like I’m one of the few thinking this way

73 replies

Electricdreams22 · 02/12/2021 15:23

If you’re posting to abuse me and call me a toddler/selfish/sim etc for not sharing your opinion, don’t bother as you’ll just get reported.

I respect that everyone has their own views and anxieties

I’ve started feeling fed up lately and unsure as to why people who’ve had 3 vaccines now feel the need to impose their own lockdown as such, I know people who’ve decided to limit contact, not going to Christmas parties etc.
I don’t know what the point was of having 3 vaccines if people are expected to carry on restricting their life?

People saying ‘Oooh I hope we don’t have another lockdown soon” whilst it’s clear they would readily accept and are probably hoping for one.

I hate how people who don’t want the vaccine have been made to feel, and I imagine that a lot of these people claiming to be so altruistic didn’t have the flu jab, I certainly didn’t. I also imagine they didn’t self isolate every time they had the flu or similar.

I feel like I’m almost alone with these thoughts and I don’t know who to turn to. Would just be interested to hear from like minded people.

OP posts:

EinsteinaGogo · 02/12/2021 15:58

Are you feeling low, OP?

Were you looking forward to some things that now won't happen ? That does sound disappointing.

Are there any other groups / clubs that you could meet up with people at?

23MinutesfromTuIseHill · 02/12/2021 15:58

I feel like I’m almost alone with these thoughts and I don’t know who to turn to
Why do you need to 'turn to' anyone? Do what you please, think what you like: nobody gives a flying fuck.

MissAmbrosia · 02/12/2021 16:00

I'm triple jabbed but the numbers where I am are awful and I do not want to risk it by going mad in the run up to Xmas. I have arranged to see friends in small groups and not in busy places. I might go to the Xmas market but will try to go on a weekday afternoon. My present shopping is all done.

Lussekatt · 02/12/2021 16:00

they didn’t self isolate every time they had the flu or similar

It would never have crossed my mind to go out in public with the flu. The flu has always had the chance of becoming deadly, especially to vulnerable people. Who goes out with the flu?!

anon12345678901 · 02/12/2021 16:00

Everyone makes their own choices with what they are comfortable with. Some people don't want to risk getting Covid over the Christmas period. You're feeling annoyed others are being cautious, that's a you problem to deal with.

EinsteinaGogo · 02/12/2021 16:05

@23MinutesfromTuIseHill

I feel like I’m almost alone with these thoughts and I don’t know who to turn to Why do you need to 'turn to' anyone? Do what you please, think what you like: nobody gives a flying fuck.

@23MinutesfromTuIseHill

That's a really nasty post.

OP seems at the end of her tether with the situation - how about you say nothing if you can't say anything useful.

HeartsAndClubs · 02/12/2021 16:09

I hid the covid topic at the beginning of the pandemic to get rid of this kind of shite.

Have reported to mn to get it moved.

Nietzschethehiker · 02/12/2021 16:11

I can understand you feeling low but your tone is dismissive and snarky about others choices (invariably whenever someone says this others ask them to be specific about where they have been snarky/angry/ defensive.....tone...tone....tone)

I can understand you being frustrated but honestly the big thing that has been missing in the last year has been the ability to respect others choices without being passive aggressive, judgemental or dismissive.

I understand the frustration but that's about your support set up. It's not OK to be dismissive about other people's choices. I'd be a bit careful because if you are saying that to them , or hinting , sighing , making back handed comments which is more likely they are not going to want to se you at all.

We have some people in our lives who chose not to get vaccinated who we are still all happily in contact because everyone agrees not to comment on each others choices. Likewise we know people who are effectively shielding whilst we are not. Relationships are still fine as everyone is respectful of choices.

The people we have ended relationships with are those who sigh , and comment on our choices. Those are the ones who absolutely feel they have a right to comment on us , implying that they know better. Nothing to do with choices in shielding, nothing to do with vaccination, everything to do with attempting to blame us for their situation. Consider where you go with this.

XenoBitch · 02/12/2021 16:11

YANBU, and sorry you feel so alone with it all too.
I can understand why some people might be scared, so are locking down early, but that is their way of taking control of the whole situation.
I also really hate the division the vaccine is causing... it feels like we are heading down a very sinister path, and it is shocking to see so many people in favour of it.

housemaus · 02/12/2021 16:11

feel the need to impose their own lockdown as such, I know people who’ve decided to limit contact, not going to Christmas parties etc.

You're annoyed because other people don't want to go to Christmas parties? Yes, being double or triple jabbed is great, but I know plenty of people who've had covid after 2 jabs - surely the whole point is that, especially while there's a strain that could be vaccine resistant AND show fewer symptoms, if you can avoid passing it to vulnerable friends or relatives (or catching it yourself if you're vulnerable, regardless of the jab), you do so? Not sure why you think they're imposing a lockdown other than on themselves, which is their choice.

My closest friend is double jabbed. Caught covid 3 weeks ago at work, got scarily ill very quickly, and has only just got out of hospital, and is incredibly lucky not to have it worse and she is going to be recovering for quite some time. If you think someone like her - jabbed up, followed all the rules, cautiously went back to some kind of normal, and then got life threateningly ill anyway - is somehow an affront to you because she doesn't want someone else to get as ill as she did, then you're short-sighted.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 02/12/2021 16:12

Are you saying people should revert to "normal" life because they are vaccinated? I'm not quite sure if that's what you are asking?

I think we are in the next phase which is acceptance that we will never "go back to normal".

Vaxxed or unvaxxed, we are different now. We have seen this illness wreak havoc across the world and a lot of people don't want to risk their health.

I think it'll ease up but it's here with us for at least a year or two more.

Sparklingbrook · 02/12/2021 16:14

Even with 3 jabs you can still catch it and spread it around, and i think people don't want to do that 3 weeks before Christmas or later.

DismantledKing · 02/12/2021 16:15

@HeartsAndClubs

I hid the covid topic at the beginning of the pandemic to get rid of this kind of shite.

Have reported to mn to get it moved.

Please tell me how to do it!

Movingsoon21 · 02/12/2021 16:19

OP I understand your frustration. I just think everyone is having to put family first now, especially as most people didn’t get any sort of Christmas last year. I normally love big social events but I skipped even small trips to the pub or out for dinner last December because we had planned to see vulnerable relatives for Christmas and I had to put them first. This year feels different as everyone I know is vaccinated, so I’m not so worried. But if the hospital numbers got bad again I would cancel all social plans in the hope it would save Christmas and allow me to see my parents.

Hope that makes sense, even if it’s not what you wanted to hear?

Carboncheque · 02/12/2021 16:20

’People saying ‘Oooh I hope we don’t have another lockdown soon” whilst it’s clear they would readily accept and are probably hoping for one.’

That ‘probably hoping for one’ really confuses me. NO ONE is ‘hoping’ for a lockdown. Absolutely no one. If it becomes necessary for public health then of course most people will go along with it but no one actively wants to be restricted from going places and seeing people.

DaisyNGO · 02/12/2021 16:21

@Electricdreams22

They do have the right, but it’s some friends etc who I was hoping to see over Christmas and parties that are now cancelled. And I’ll likely get told “It’s not all about you”, no it isn’t, I’m just getting stressed by it all though.

I ‘did my bit’ by having 3 vaccines and I’m not prepared to do any more

It sounds like we are in the same boat

As CEV, I've heard it all - "oh you don't have to worry, you're triple jabbed".

I am also unsure about number 4.

I think people want a lockdown, they talk about it, and the government will impose it to be populist.

I have a couple of friebds who said they were shielding but then didn't get the food box. Turns out it was not medical advice.

I don't want my DC to effectively get a message to panic, especially not because of me. I don't talk much about my health but some of DP's relatuves know and have been a rught pain.

The first case of the new variabt was also triple jabbed.

If people want to stay ay home, no problem. But the ones who want a lockdown are bugging me too.

Something is going very wrong here. Is it government reacting to social media?

My parents are mid 80s. I am not sure when we get the call for number 4 but I'm not sure any of us feel comfortable about it.

the80sweregreat · 02/12/2021 16:22

People have long memories and what happened last year and at the start of the pandemic too.
Many are making their own minds now!

23MinutesfromTuIseHill · 02/12/2021 16:23

That's a really nasty post
I thought the OP was pretty offensive, with a dash of 'Do not throw stones at this notice', but there you go, @EinsteinaGogo.

Sparklingbrook · 02/12/2021 16:23

Yes I agree @Carboncheque, who are all these people hoping for the shops and hospitality to close down? I've never met one. There have been some weirdos in the CV topic professing to be very keen but I think they've been banned and/or disappeared recently and they would only say it to wind people up.

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 02/12/2021 16:23

I don’t know what the point was of having 3 vaccines if people are expected to carry on restricting their life?

I fucking agree with this

Chely · 02/12/2021 16:23

I'm as anti-social as ever lol

This crap is the new normal, sad times.

DaisyNGO · 02/12/2021 16:25

@Carboncheque

’People saying ‘Oooh I hope we don’t have another lockdown soon” whilst it’s clear they would readily accept and are probably hoping for one.’

No, they are. We have one neighbour who worked another job through furlough - govt fault of course - and he's definitely up for it.

Sorry to say, some friends of my parebts really want it. They say things like "youngsters don't need nightckubs". They think toddlers should be masked. No sense of humanity or economy.

I don't know how their children amd grandchildren are coping with them.

DaisyNGO · 02/12/2021 16:26

Sorry for typos

AliveAndSleeping · 02/12/2021 16:28

I'm double jabbed (not eligible for booster yet) but I've got an (unvaccinated) baby at home and elderly parents in their 80ies. At that age your protection to COVID even when vaccinated is similar to that of an unvaccinated 50 year old. I avoid large indoor gatherings and am happy that we have to wear masks again in shops.

cabingirl · 02/12/2021 16:31

@Chasingaftermidnight

I know lots of vaccinated people who are ‘imposing their own lockdown’ because they want to see relatives at Christmas, when they couldn’t see them at all last year. They don’t want to be told to isolate a week before Christmas or to give it to elderly relatives. Doesn’t seem unreasonable to me at all.

I'm in the US and that's what we did for Thanksgiving. Prioritized our Christmas travel and decided to stay home in November to reduce chances of catching Covid and spreading it around the family before being tested to fly. I know some people thought we were being too cautious but everyone has different priorities.

OP - I'm sorry your friends and family are choosing to be more cautious than you and cancelling events with you. Fingers crossed it will be better next year.

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