Warning on Ancestry (and other) DNA tests?

[MLMshouldbeillegal]

Ancestry, My Heritage and the other DNA testing companies are all pushing their tests as the ideal Christmas gift, and they are cheaper than ever. Ancestry had a black Friday offer for £50, My Heritage even cheaper at £39.

AIBU to think these tests should come with a wee health warning? That although it's marketed as a "find out your ethnicity" tool, in fact it might reveal some long-hidden family secrets?

I have tested with Ancestry and uploaded my data to other sites too. No surprises on my tree, matches with distant cousins who all fit into the picture as I know it. But I also go genealogical client work and I'm currently working with a man in his 70s who was given one of the tests for father's day back in June and is trying to process the fact that he is not matching with other descendants of his grandfather. Or at least the man he thought was his grandfather. So in later life, he's trying to come to terms with his much loved grandfather, who his father absolutely adored, is probably not his biological relative. It's a lot to deal with.

The testing companies really push the "find out if you're part Viking, part Native American" in their marketing but that aspect isn't really very accurate - My Heritage says I'm >2% Iraq/Iran/Turkey and I'm definitely not. Ancestry is more accurate given what I know about my tree.

Taking one of these tests could open up a whole can of worms in terms of relationships in the family, in this generation or further back with people who are long dead, and who you can't get answers from. For some people it can be a lot to process and I dont think the implications are properly laid out.

I’ve done one. It probably revealed to a few members that my Grandfather cheated on his wife, impregnated my teenage Grandmother and then left her pregnant and alone in the 1940’s. Good.

Ancestry DNA testing revealed many unexpected skeletons in our family tree.

Whilst yes, it has been an awkward situation to navigate, it actually allowed a close family member to discover he had a different biological father (who had a hereditary health condition). This in turn allowed him to get treatment for a disease that he didn't know he had.

my ethnicity match on there is actually pretty good and matches what I have paper records to back up. (Apart from 2% scandinavian which is very distant). My Heritage has a higher percentage of North American test takers which I am assuming is where the Middle East in my estimate comes from

There you highlight one of the problems you are warning about. It might be that the paper records for you don't record the full story. A female ancestor might have a baby by someone other than her husband, either through infidelity or rape but on paper he would have been recorded as the natural father. Or there could have been an informal adoption when a unrelated or distantly related child was recorded as the child of a marriage. These things happened a lot back then particularly when the primary records were church records. So your paper records have at least as much margin for inaccuracy as the DNA tests. Who can say which is more accurate?

That being said, you are quite right that people should approach these tests prepared to find things they might not like or expect.

It does raise some uncomfortable ethical considerations. Apart from the obvious social ones, there are people born of abuse, incest and rape unknowingly connecting and getting sucked into their 'families'. How do they know and what precautions should be taken?

After her mother had given my friend up for adoption within the family, she'd had another daughter a couple of years later who she'd given up for adoption to the authorities.

Another case I came across was someone who had done a test and found an older half-sibling, born to his mother before she had got together with his father.

Turns out the mother was raped as a teenager and told only immediate family who were sworn to secrecy, concealed the pregnancy and immediately gave the baby up for adoption. Upsetting for the son to find out his mum had gone through that, even more upsetting for the older half-sibling to find out the circumstances of their conception.

I think we all like to think a potential "not the father expected" event is an affair or something consensual. But it might not be.

This is why I would never do one. I think my family probably does have secrets and I would rather not know (head in the sand).

I think on balance that secrets and lies do far more damage than truths.

I think most people know that. I did it in full knowledge it means if a relative rapes someone they might more easily be found. I am fine with that and to take the responsibility for myself on that (and am not worried about long lost half siblings or something like that).

It does work well eg it showed by DNA my connection to relatives of both my mother and my father which shows it is very very likely I am the genetic child of both parents.

I think it is a huge force for good. The interesting ethical point is the fact you are linked to your relatives so in a sense making a possible decision (in my rape example above) for them. However DNA is a fact so you are doing no more than easing a process that already exists ie the police might take DNA from a relative anyway to show they were involved in a crime.

The beloved grandfather that raised him is STILL his grandfather... DNA wouldn't change his memories and the love he received. Literally, nothing has changed.

As someone with a stepfamily and foster family, it's pretty offensive to suggest that that's a trauma or suffering and somehow less than blood relatives.

These tests have in the last year solved dozens of decade-old missing person cases, kidnapping and doe cases that are worth their weight in gold.

@Cocomarine

I think people need to take personal responsibility and engage their brain 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s bloody obvious that you might discover something unexpected. The sort of person who doesn’t think of that would read the warning (well, if they bothered to read it) and never assume it could apply to them anyway. Why do you think people should be absolved of using their own brains?

Where's the "like" button?

I've really wanted to do one of them but been hesitant as I don't know my fathers side. Although I know his name and area he lives and could find him pretty easily, so that's not the issue but I do know that he has older kids than me he's never seen either. I get a bit spun out if I'll be potentially linking to them if they have done it. I'm not against finding them, but it's really nerve wracking.

On another note, after my grandfather died last year and going into lockdown I signed up to ancestry myself to do my family tree - just with the research part. I find that really interesting.

But I think I discovered that my grandads brother wasn't his full brother which in this day and age is pretty normal... I always knew my great uncle to have the same surname as my grandad but I learnt great uncle was actually born with his mothers mothers maiden name and lived in another household as a baby (I think babies were often sent to a relatives if born out of wedlock? ). and they must have changed it to my grandads dads name at a later date and moved back with his mum! I already knew my grandad had another older brother born out of wedlock that was sent to live with relatives. My grandad was the only one born in marriage and his dad died when he was small. I also found my grandads dad was married and widowed before marrying my great grandmother which explain more so that my great uncle had a different father because great grandad married someone else the year great uncle was born! Unless it was some kind of weird affair! I couldn't work out if great grandad had kids with his first wife who died fairly young. The info wasn't clear. There was a lot of people living in the household with younger ages too and the same and different surnames but I couldn't work it out.

My grandad died last year, my great uncle died died this year. I will never knew if they knew. In hindsight it doesn't mean if they were half or full. But I just wonder if they knew. I haven't repeated this to anyone apart from Dp.

People buying these tests should also remember it goes wider than them. One of my Dad's cousins did one and discovered a match overseas. It seems their Dad or one of his brothers (including my Dad's dad) fathered a child overseas during the war. The cousin was really excited at the idea of new relatives, my Dad has absolutely no desire in his 70s to find out whether or not he has a half sibling.

Given the way my DF has put it about my family is complicated it enough. I'm sure he has other kids but I don't need any more complications. One of my half siblings doesn't want anything to do with me because I'm in contact with DF. I can't help it he kept some minimal contact with me as a child and not her. That's not my fault.
I'd rather not know frankly it just causes problems.

Anyone who hands over their DNA data to a private company, and what is more pays for the privilege of doing so, is a bit of a fool.

Actually, there is a way in which it is significantly WORSE than most posters here are acknowledging. Doing DNA tests and allowing matches to be made doesn't just open you up to discovering "family secrets" or things you might not have wanted to know. It also opens up your own close relatives to these things regardless of whether they have been tested or know that you are doing so.

A while back I was contacted by half siblings conceived through sperm donation - they tracked me down because one of my late father's (long-estranged) siblings had done a test. Now, at the time of these donations, my parents agreed only because anonymity was assured and no records were kept. I have not followed up on this contact for the time being, in respect for my mother (we had had discussions on this topic and she has remained concerned that she does not want contact to arise).

There are far far wider implications of DNA testing currently being made freely available, than most people are considering.

@Ceecee30 it could still be the right parentage, just the parents got married later. DNA might, might help clarify one way or the other.

I completely agree. I have heard of people finding they're at risk of developing hereditary illnesses with some of these kits. Apparently the information is just there, looking at you if you understand it. You are statistically more at risk if developing it if you know about it in some cases.

As for donor egg/sperm/adoption, known or unknown, these kits do not understand that families are differently made and the genetic links don't correspondent to their lived experience.

Not through dna, but through contact by an Heir Hunters company, we discovered an unknown paternal cousin of my grandmother who was an Olympic and Commonwealth athlete in her youth, and who stabbed her dh to death in their bedroom. Her story, and the list of the other heirs, was much more interesting to me than the £88 I inherited.

Alltheblue "You are statistically more at risk if developing it if you know about it in some cases."

Do you have an example please?

I completely disagree. I bought my DM a DNA test and we were able to connect with my Grandfathers family. He was adopted and knew nothing. Our family was tiny, now we have aunts, uncles, cousins.. Its wonderful.

Ancestry isn't a health DNA test, neither is My Heritage. I think 23 and Me do more of the health testing but I'm not really interested in that side of things.

I also agree with @RollaCola84 that it's not just about the person taking the test, their parents and siblings. It can open up cans of worms for people more distantly related to you as well.

There is always the option to ignore email contact though. I have contacted a few cousin matches with little response, I think people do it for the ethnicity side and then just lose interest in genealogy.

My father did the DNA one and found a son he never knew existed so I gained a brother and he found his father its not all bad results

I don't think it's a good idea to hand over your DNA to a random unregulated company

I know my father is my father (it was always commented on that the distinctive colour of my hair was the same as my paternal grandmother)

However his side of the family always made out that I was not.

My father left very early on in my life. He is still alive but I have never received so much as a birthday card from him ever.

When I got my results, I told my dad 'It says [his name] is your father.' He insisted on seeing for himself. Apparently, he'd never believed I was his child. I was 62 or 63 ...