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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want to tell people I have a 1st class even though I don’t?

504 replies

plieddried · 01/12/2021 03:56

It bothers me so much to see my actual degree classification. On my cv I don’t even bother to write my degree classification but I still feel embarrassed. I want to start telling people (and myself) that I graduated with a 1st class honours even if it’s not true. It makes me feel happier to tell myself I got a first class. It also makes me feel more confident and secure in my ability to work. It makes me feel accomplished. Wondering if AIBU?

OP posts:
CloudyStorms · 01/12/2021 07:48

Liar

MrsLarry · 01/12/2021 07:48

Yes. YABU. Why not just be proud that you actually got a degree. It's quite an achievement. Well done you!

bonfireheart · 01/12/2021 07:49

OP, O had great GCSE and A level results. Got to a good university then had the worst few years of my life due to stuff at home and left with a third. A few years later I went to another university with my transcript. Luckily the grades for my first two years were fine it was the third year that was a disaster. They let me do the third year again. I got 2:1. Went on to do my masters and got a distinction. I am now a head of dept line managing 9 people for a great organisation...however at no point in the last 20 years has anyone asked me about my degree, its never even been a requirement for any job I've applied for. More it was something that I wanted to do for myself. So if you want to then I suggest maybe redoing your degree or starting it from scratch?

Kennykenkencat · 01/12/2021 07:50

As others have posted, I think this need for perfection and validation is something you should be discussing with a therapist.

I think going forward therapy will do more for your self esteem than any 1st class degree.

I am quite old and have noticed that as you go through life you meet people who know other people that knew you from years before. Everyone knows everyone else.

At some point you will tell someone this lie who will know someone else who knows you didn’t get a first and then the fact you lied over something as bizarre as your degree classification will spread. Lies have a habit of coming out and then your embarrassment of not getting a 1st will be replaced by the shame of people knowing you lied to them.

Don’t lie to people. It is disrespectful.

Choochi · 01/12/2021 07:51

How does one lie to oneself? Never heard that one before. If you know you are smarter than what the degree portrays, there will be "a 154" other ways to show your work colleagues your worth.
Yes, a further degree will definitely take away any attention from your degree, but a PhD can get gruelling if you choose to do it for the wrong reasons. Publications in high impact journals aren't a walk in the park either.
Try and focus on your work, it's a better opportunity to prove your capability than written exams or assignments.
All the best.

Olliesocks · 01/12/2021 07:51

The only time I was asked for my degree classification was when I applied for my current Masters course. Even my boss doesn’t know what it is and actually didn’t realise I had one (nhs).

DollyPartBaked · 01/12/2021 07:51

@Kittromney

I have a friend who announced at her wedding, in the middle of her husbands speech, that she got a first. Grin

It was pretty cringe.

I'm cringing just reading this
thecapitalsunited · 01/12/2021 07:52

Are you quite young? I know a lot of people feel insecure when they first enter the workplace but as you start to gain experience and confidence then that will go away. I got a 2.2 albeit as an undergrad masters and felt like an underachiever for ages but now I’ve been in my career for 10 years I know that my reputation for good quality work and keeping clients happy precedes me. It was a slow process - when I first started work I found it really hard to give a solid opinion about things in case I was wrong - but I got there and have helped younger colleagues develop confidence too.

turnthebiglightoff · 01/12/2021 07:55

🦇 💩

IncompleteSenten · 01/12/2021 07:55

How can it make you happier when you know it's a lie? It's not like saying it makes it true. How can saying you got something that you didn't make you feel accomplished? An accomplished liar? An accomplished Walter Mitty?

I can say I can speak 5 languages and am a size 8. Since it's not true it means fuck all

Don't start inventing some fantasy version of yourself. It's hollow. It doesn't change reality. You did not get a first and pretending you did changes nothing.

Work on your self esteem. You have a degree. You don't need to play make believe with it.

GiveMeNovocain · 01/12/2021 07:56

Be careful. For my job I had to provide evidence of my degree

girlmom21 · 01/12/2021 07:57

I'm gonna start telling people I got a masters from Oxford.

I don't have a degree, or any A Levels, but it'll make me feel more accomplished and will look good on my CV.

MintyGreenDream · 01/12/2021 07:57

I left school at 16 due to bad experiences in secondary school and desperately wanted to leave education.
I know I'm clever but fucking hell I wouldn't put that I did A levels or went to uni on my cv or even tell people that..because I'm not batshit and I prefer people to take me for who I am.

user1471604848 · 01/12/2021 07:58

I kind-of get what you mean.

I was an A* pupil all through school. It was important to me that I got first class honours in my degree, since I was capable of it and it reflected my abilities. It sounds silly, but I wanted to be able to tell my future kids that I got a first. (I did).

If I were you, I'd think of doing a masters, and get a first in that. Then mentally reconcile yourself to your degree result, due to the extenuating circumstances.

Indoctro · 01/12/2021 07:59

I'm pretty sure no one actually cares if I'm honest

AlbertBridge · 01/12/2021 08:01

I just feel like I’m smarter than what my degree classification shows.

😂 This sentence is comedy gold.

Wife2b · 01/12/2021 08:01

This is one of the most bizarre threads I think I’ve seen on here. How often are you talking about your degree? It’s all very strange. Aside from on my CV it doesn’t really come up in conversation. Of course you can’t lie, get a grip and own your accomplishments. FWIW I was 1% from a first in my undergrad, that stung a lot but at the end of the day I got a 2:1 so that’s that.

JustLyra · 01/12/2021 08:02

@plieddried

I understand, I just feel like I’m smarter than what my degree classification shows. I don’t believe it’s representative of me and my academic ability. It’s not an excuse (although it kind of is) but I was going through a lot of things at the time of my degree and it messed up my accomplishment. If I had sat the same exam I would have gotten a first. I wish I submitted extenuating circumstances at the time because it’s stayed with me since then.
I think you really need to try and find a way to see that your degree, gained in such difficult circumstances is an achievement.

One to be proud of.

twinguilt · 01/12/2021 08:04

Don't lie. Once you do, you'll never be able to take it back without feeling like even more of an idiot.

I kind of understand (but from a different perspective!) my elder sibling was straight A student throughout school, always top at everything, ended up getting a 2.1 in their degree though as had a bit of a mental health crisis at Uni. They don't lie about what they got, but for a few months after graduating lots of people we knew assumed that they got a 1st as was what was expected of them and it was a bit painful for my sibling to be correcting them. BUT that was literally in the few months after graduating when that's what people talk about. Years later now and no one gives a shit.

Also FWIW - I did get a 1st and THIS is probably the only time I've ever mentioned it since the months after leaving Uni when looking for my first job in the field - again, no one cared after that first period. And no, I don't think it makes me smarter than those who didn't. I think it means that at that specific time I was good at that subject and I'd worked hard and was to an extent lucky with how things went.

Don't lie.

THisbackwithavengeance · 01/12/2021 08:05

I wouldn't tell potential employers that I had a first if I didn't. You will look like a lying twat if they ask for the certificate..

No problem with telling new acquaintances and friends though. You could even bolster it up and tell them that you have a phd in rocket science from Harvard University.

Do people even care?

Sadly, I actually got a first (honestly!) I don't think it has ever come up in conversation or been a requirement for a job as I got my first job before the degree classifications were out and from then on it was never needed in future job applications. I might as well have not bothered studying and gone out out drinking instead...Wine

FrancescaContini · 01/12/2021 08:05

What a strange thing to do.

CSJobseeker · 01/12/2021 08:05

Talking about your degree classification anywhere other than your CV is odd - no-one cares except you.

The answer is to stop measuring your self worth in exams.

Thijsthijs · 01/12/2021 08:06

I work in coaching for CEOs and high potential
Executives. There is something about higher education that really fucks some people up. Degree class and degree location has a way of making some people feel big or small before they even walk into a room, even if they are at the top of the tree in the workplace

Maybe you are not interested in my view due to your focus on education but I can tell you that the high flying people I coach who have real success or are on the brink of real success and all its components (money, transformation, intellect, EQ, relationships,) are mostly not people who have a first class degree.

Scottishskifun · 01/12/2021 08:06

makes me feel better because my academic record was good. Flawless even straight A all the way through my schooling, top grades all the time - apart from that degree. I don’t feel proud of it. I want to leave it off my cv, if possible. Maybe a phd might help me feel more (academically) accomplished. Particularly if I publish lots. I think I’ll feel better.*

How did you do throughout your degree? Sorry but your showing a lot of ignorance to exactly how tough a phd is.
Different people also do well at different levels it's nothing to be embarrassed about! Unless you are wanting a academic job which is bloody tough then your academic record once in a profession doesn't matter.

Half my team have phds the other of us don't we still get paid the same and are equal.

Look at a masters if you really want but they are intense you can publish off a mres or msc

PheonixGlitterRepublic · 01/12/2021 08:07

I kind of get what you mean. I was top of every class at uni and got the best results consistently but something happened during my thesis and I didn’t get the necessary grade to get a 1st even though my overall grade was still well above the threshold. Honestly, it really bothered me and I wish I had appealed the decision. I told myself at the time to get a grip and let it go, but it still hurts when I think about it years later. It’s really of no consequence to anyone else though and it doesn’t really come up in conversation.

You can’t lie to yourself or anyone else, you really just have to deal with what happened and let it go even though it might be hard.

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