Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 16 17 18 19 20 21

Original poster

I want to tell people I have a 1st class even though I don’t?

504 replies

plieddried · 01/12/2021 03:56

It bothers me so much to see my actual degree classification. On my cv I don’t even bother to write my degree classification but I still feel embarrassed. I want to start telling people (and myself) that I graduated with a 1st class honours even if it’s not true. It makes me feel happier to tell myself I got a first class. It also makes me feel more confident and secure in my ability to work. It makes me feel accomplished. Wondering if AIBU?

OP posts:

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 02/12/2021 06:32

The only three (Gen. Y) young people in our extended family who have completed first degrees have all got firsts.

DinkyDaisy · 02/12/2021 06:32

Degree late 80s.
Large cohort. 1 First and pretty even split of 2:1s and 2:2s
When someone whinged at lack of Firsts, a Professor simply said, no one else deserved it...

cptartapp · 02/12/2021 06:51

I have a first class honours, 1996.
Only my parents and my now DH ever knew and it hasn't made a scrap of difference to anything.

AudacityBaby · 02/12/2021 09:09

I do sympathise a bit with OP. I've always tied my emotional validation to school/work and it's a hard habit to break. I used to be one of those wankers who wanted to say things like "yes I got a 2.1 but it was from X university..." - I'd been gutted not to get a first, and I was trying to compensate.

Realistically nobody cares what classification you got and now I feel embarrassed when people ask what uni I went to, as I don't want to sound like one of those wankers who boasts about the uni I went to. Focus on doing well at work, OP - it's far more emotionally rewarding in the long run.

jb7445 · 02/12/2021 10:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 02/12/2021 11:16

I have a friend who was teetering on the edge between a first and a 2:1. He was called in to answer one question to determine which way it would go. He didn't know the answer. But on a different day, with a different question, who knows? There's so much luck involved.

I also think it's important to remember that study after study shows:

happiness -> success

and not vice versa.

So it's important to look for opportunities to learn about stuff you are curious about and which will bring you joy.

dangerrabbit · 02/12/2021 12:44

OP could you take a master's and aim for a distinction? It would be quicker than taking another degree as part time would be only two years?

FirewomanSam · 02/12/2021 14:54

I used to be one of those wankers who wanted to say things like "yes I got a 2.1 but it was from X university..."

I know someone in their 60s who still mentions their ‘high 2:1 from Oxford’ practically on a weekly basis. It’s obviously a sore point and something they’ve never made peace with, which makes me feel really sad for them.

Side note, I’m loving the posters here who have decided to act as arbiters of other posters’ Firsts and whether they can be deemed ‘genuine’ Firsts or not

ChequerBoard · 02/12/2021 15:07

Still waiting for the OP to give examples as to how your degree classification comes up as a regular topic of social conversation?

pigsDOfly · 02/12/2021 16:08

@ChequerBoard

Still waiting for the OP to give examples as to how your degree classification comes up as a regular topic of social conversation?

It doesn't usually, but I imagine if the OP decides to go ahead with the plan to lie she will ensure that it comes up on a regular basis so that she has the opportunity to perpetuate the lie that she achieved a first.

Original poster

plieddried · 02/12/2021 16:17

@dangerrabbit

OP could you take a master's and aim for a distinction? It would be quicker than taking another degree as part time would be only two years?

Hmm, I guess I could do that instead of ah entire degree

OP posts:

Original poster

plieddried · 02/12/2021 16:18

@ChequerBoard

Still waiting for the OP to give examples as to how your degree classification comes up as a regular topic of social conversation?

It depends on the type of people you’re around. People around me bring up their own degree classification and I can’t talk about mine so I quickly change the subject.

OP posts:

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 02/12/2021 16:39

People actually bring up their degree classification in conversation? How cringy.

I did a masters degree and someone on my course would go on and on about what a good grade she got in every assignment that we had. Even when someone on my course was crying because she had failed an assignement, she popped up to say that she was gutted that she only got 70%. Compulsive liar girl lived with one of my friends, who saw her actual grades so we all knew that she was lying. When we graduated, we were all given a programme which had everyone's name and degree classification in it. She had been boasting about getting a distinction, and looked mortified when someone innocently pointed out that uni must have made a mistake when they were typing up the programmes, as it said that she had got a merit, not a distinction, and that she should complain. Quite sad as she should have been proud to get a merit. I think the boasting came from insecurity, but it made her deeply unlikeable.

What does it matter if you got a 1st or a 3rd? It's only a snapshot of three years of studying. Learning doesn't stop when you graduate. And boasting makes you come across like a smug prick.

Porridgeislife · 02/12/2021 17:00

Please don’t spend £20k getting a masters to make yourself feel better about a 2:1. It would be much better spent on getting some counselling as to why something that is completely inconsequential for most people past the age of 25, still has you feeling inferior.

I work with a surprising number of Oxbridge grads and the first time I find out (usually) is when I’ve been given their bio for a presentation deck. You are hanging around some really immature people if it is frequently coming up in conversation.

Pumpkintopf · 02/12/2021 17:06

What did you actually get?

SommerTen · 02/12/2021 20:00

I completed my vocational job related Pass degree aged 27 while I was working long hours with lots of overtime.. I attempted the Honours part of my degree but the course just wasn't compatible with my stressful job at that time.

Nevermind, I'm very happy that I have an actual degree at all! It's a BSc. I'm the only person in my family & group of friends who has a degree.
Only two other people on my course attempted the Honours part of the degree, everyone else accepted the Pass degree.

When I tell people I've got a degree they just say oh wow, they don't ask about where from or the classification.

I'm actually better qualified than some of my managers, one of whom is currently on a degree course.

I would like to change career in the future and I know that having a degree (any degree) helps.

limitedperiodonly · 02/12/2021 20:42

I knew someone who lied about having a PhD. Many of us had our doubts because she was always making stupid mistakes when writing about things but it seemed churlish to bring it up.

The only thing was that she would constantly put people down and ridicule them for their lack of education. It was very nasty because it wasn't as if they were boasting.

In the end someone got so angry at her nastiness to other people she provided proof that the woman was lying. It also turned out that she had not attended the prestigious university she claimed to have done.

Like I said, none of this would have mattered if not for her constant sneering at people she felt to be inferior. It wasn't just educational achievement it was everything. I think it was pretty obvious to everyone she was deeply insecure and unhappy.

I always remember her. Why do people tell such terrible and very obvious lies that a child could see through? I wonder what became of her and whether she got over her insecurity.

Cam22 · 02/12/2021 20:48

@Pumpkintopf

What did you actually get?

A tutu or worse…?

Howshouldibehave · 02/12/2021 20:54

It depends on the type of people you’re around. People around me bring up their own degree classification and I can’t talk about mine so I quickly change the subject

What job do you do where this ever comes up?! I work in a graduate profession and I have never known it to come up!

Did you get a Desmond?

evilharpy · 02/12/2021 21:02

People will think far, far less of you for lying about getting a first than they will if you tell them you got a 2:2 (or whatever it was).

FirewomanSam · 02/12/2021 21:22

Hmm, I guess I could do that instead of ah entire degree

I’m sorry OP but you really really don’t sound like you actually want to do a Masters. ‘Hmm I guess’ is not remotely the level of interest and enthusiasm you’ll need to sustain you through a year or two of postgraduate study, which can be very intense, far more so than an undergrad degree. And you’re going into it trying to get a distinction, which is even harder! Do you even have a particular subject you’re keen to study, or a career goal in mind that a Masters would benefit? Doing it just so that you can boost your self esteem will massively backfire, if you put yourself through all that and then end up dropping out.

I really do sympathise. I spent years feeling like I ‘needed’ to do a PhD to feel good about myself, because I was surrounded by people with Dr titles and I wanted my own so badly. But someone told me that if you’re just doing it for the title, you’ll never get through it.

Then the stars aligned years later and my career naturally led me to the perfect PhD project, so I’m doing one now after all. But my god, it’s tough, and if I’d gone ahead and done one back then just for the sake of my ego then I don’t think I could have lasted six months.

ChequerBoard · 02/12/2021 21:27

"It depends on the type of people you’re around. People around me bring up their own degree classification and I can’t talk about mine so I quickly change the subject."

Yes, it sounds like you are around people with very poor social skills who think being a graduate is a great life achievement. In my experience, people who are secure about their education and intelligence don't need to bring up their qualifications and tend to assume that their peers at work are as educated as they are.

Perhaps rethink who you are engaging with?

AudacityBaby · 02/12/2021 21:40

@FirewomanSam

I used to be one of those wankers who wanted to say things like "yes I got a 2.1 but it was from X university..."

Side note, I’m loving the posters here who have decided to act as arbiters of other posters’ Firsts and whether they can be deemed ‘genuine’ Firsts or not

This makes me cringe. I managed to stop in my mid 20s (to be fair it wasn’t Oxbridge, maybe I’d still be doing it if it were…)

Ileflottante · 02/12/2021 21:48

Did you get a Dezzy? I’d probably keep that on the DL, too. But no one, literally no one else gives a shit rolled in glitter about your degree classification.

Bootikin · 02/12/2021 22:02

This is bizarre, I say this as someone with one O level who is surrounded by colleagues with PhDs. I earn more than them but my goodness they are brilliant. I don’t care about my lack of academic quals as I’m better than my colleagues at some things and they are better than me at other things. The strength in the team is in the differences.

Your fixation around a first is deeply unhealthy and not good for you. Really, you need to address your issues around this. Not to be patronising but honestly you should talk to someone about this, your inner critic seems to be tearing you apart on this issue.

Not good for you. Hope you can get past this, life is too short to let this pull you back.

Flip

1 2 ··· 16 17 18 19 20 21

Swipe left for the next trending thread