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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about people's stories when loved ones passed. Did they experience anything.

97 replies

RedFlagsAllOver · 30/11/2021 21:10

I hope its OK to post this. I've heard a few stories about when people have passed and they believe a loved one came for them just before.
My dad is near the end. I know it's coming and I guess it's nice that I have time to prepare and I've said goodbye but it's horrible seeing him slide away. He was still talking to me a couple of days ago but no energy to open his eyes. Today he was just shouting out but he kept saying his sisters name who passed last year. They said I could stay longer. Beyond the hour slot but it was just distressing. My dad didn't settle when I tried to sooth him just became more agitated and pushing me away.

OP posts:
MuguetRose · 02/12/2021 09:19

I hope I see dh when I die. It would be lovely to see him again. I hope my kids get to see him again too one day

stonebrambleboy · 02/12/2021 09:34

I started my nursing career in the 1970 s and opening the window to free the soul was routine in the hospital where I trained. I think as there was a large number of Irish Roman Catholic nurses working there it may have had something to do with it. I always carried on that tradition, with the relatives permission over my long career. Often relatives found it very comforting, I don't remember anyone ever objecting. And yes whilst drugs can alter the conscious state. It doesn't explain why I and colleagues witnessed spiritual visitors at the bed side at the end of life.

furbabymama87 · 02/12/2021 09:40

Slightly different type of story, but when someone's auntie was in hospital dying of cancer and asleep a lot of the time, a child family member was seen laughing and talking to themselves in the hall. When someone asked who it was, they replied "it's only Auntie Maureen being silly". And she died shortly afterwards.

Userg1234 · 02/12/2021 10:14

Yes with each of my parents something strange. Mum died when I was 17. On a Tuesday. The Saturday before I was working as a Saturday boy and almost collapsed...at the moment she had a stroke. She had been ill for 2 years with cancer and I was in denial about what was happening... not helped by no one being able to talk to me about it. This helped me realize that it was going to be soon.

When I was 18 dad gave me an expensive ring. It vanished a couple of years later. He died when I was 24 and after he went on, I opened the dressing table draw where he kept his money...there was the ring just behind the money.

Take care of yourself over the next Few weeks

Original poster
RedFlagsAllOver · 02/12/2021 11:30

Thank you all for your lovely stories. Its giving me great comfort. In his more luicid days he was talking about his mum and dad, and his sister. He lost 2 siblings recently and I do hope they're waiting for him. I've never experienced anything super natural but I like to believe there's more than this. It's comforting

OP posts:
AhhWoof · 02/12/2021 11:39

I listened to a really lovely podcast last week, Fortunately with FI and Jane, all about death. It sounds hard, but actually it was rather beautiful with a doctor explaining clearly and calmly what happens and what might appear scary but isn't. It might be worth a listen.

Lima1 · 02/12/2021 12:06

@stonebrambleboy

I started my nursing career in the 1970 s and opening the window to free the soul was routine in the hospital where I trained. I think as there was a large number of Irish Roman Catholic nurses working there it may have had something to do with it. I always carried on that tradition, with the relatives permission over my long career. Often relatives found it very comforting, I don't remember anyone ever objecting. And yes whilst drugs can alter the conscious state. It doesn't explain why I and colleagues witnessed spiritual visitors at the bed side at the end of life.
Please tell us more about what you witnessed @stonebrambleboy
stonebrambleboy · 02/12/2021 16:02

I don't want to upset OP. So I'll not go into too much detail.
On night shift ( reduced staff numbers) I was washing the deceased and expecting a colleague to come from another ward and assist me. I saw a light and I assumed it was the nurses torch as I was in semi darkness so as not to wake other patients. I then realised the light was in fact a figure standing at the foot of the bed watching me . It wasn't scary at all in fact very comforting, then the figure gradually disappeared. Another time I saw a person go into the side room where a dying patient was. I walked up the ward and followed them into the room but they had vanished and the patient had just died.
Many times patients spoke to deceased relatives and it was always very comforting. I can honestly say I have no fear of dying personally.
Look after yourself OP.

stonebrambleboy · 02/12/2021 16:07

Just hold his hand OP and talk to him, he'll know you are there x

didthosefeetinancienttimes · 02/12/2021 16:33

My husband had a brain tumour and died in a hospice with his family and friends around him. He was very agitated before he died but me and his brothers and sisters, and his parents, were all there with him and it felt as if we were surrounding him with love - however odd that sounds. I think it's important to remember (and as time has passed I have felt this more strongly), that whatever happens at the end of someone's life is just one part of your relationship with them. As time goes on you remember more about the whole life they had with you and less about the illness and the end. I find that comforting.

BobbieT1999 · 02/12/2021 17:57

I think it's important to remember (and as time has passed I have felt this more strongly), that whatever happens at the end of someone's life is just one part of your relationship with them. As time goes on you remember more about the whole life they had with you and less about the illness and the end. I find that comforting

This is so true. When you witness someone die, or are there just before or after you think you'll never move past those moments, but they do become memories and the happy, life-filled and laughter-filled memories come back to the fore and you remember the whole person as they lived.

I'm so sorry op that you're going through this. I can attest to similar experiences to those written here and have nurses in the family who all recount the same.

Flowers [flowers]@ParkheadParadise I'm so sorry you lost your daughter in such circumstances Flowers Flowers

tsmainsqueeze · 02/12/2021 18:47

@KingRoloIV

Yes my Dad was conscious and said his best friend who’d died 40 years before was there. It was as if his friend had come to help or reassure him. It did help to think he wasn’t alone, I miss him so very much, he was simply wonderful 😢
That is so comforting . I miss my wonderful dad too, i can't imagine a time when we ever stop missing them x
Briscarta · 02/12/2021 19:44

I sat with someone who was dying - she’s was an elderly relative who had had a stroke and was unable to speak. When she died she looked up into a corner of the room as if someone had called her name. I remember feeling in my solar plexus that can only be described as a pulse - I’ve searched and never been able to find any reason for it. Any ideas?

bearlyactive · 02/12/2021 19:55

I was told that a few days before my great aunt passed away a few years ago, the staff on the late shift at her nursing home heard her calling out for her husband twice, even though there was nobody in the room with her. It's so strange, because as soon as they said that, I could hear her voice in my ears calling for him even though I hadn't seen her for years and I had never met my great uncle. I can hear it now as I type it. Very odd, but I wonder whether they are reunited now.

Original poster
RedFlagsAllOver · 05/12/2021 20:43

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Dad passed away this afternoon. I went and sat with him for a while today but didn't want to disturb him because I didn't want him to get restless. I just kissed his cheek and left. Then he was gone a couple of hours later

OP posts:
whenwillthemadnessend · 05/12/2021 22:11

So sorry to hear that Thanks
It's lovely he got to spend his final hours with you. I'm sure he knew.

Briscarta · 06/12/2021 06:55

I’m so sorry for your loss redflags. I’m sure he was aware and comforted by your presence in his final hours. It sounds like he was very peaceful at the end. Flowers.

ButtonSister · 06/12/2021 07:18

Eden Rock, a poem by Charles Causley, is a beautiful poem about someone at the point of death moving towards his late parents. Not maudlin, and beautifully written, always makes me think of my dad.

ButtonSister · 06/12/2021 07:21

This is the poem, Eden Rock by Charles Causley

To ask about people's stories when loved ones passed. Did they experience anything.
Coconutty · 06/12/2021 07:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ.

Weeteeny · 08/12/2021 23:34

I am sorry for your loss

YourVagesty · 09/12/2021 00:07

Love these stories - very comforting.

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