To be so upset that I can’t have a career

[Jinnybean]

Iv been bank staff at my ideal job for 2 years now. It’s been ideal because I work around my husbands shifts. He earns good money and is the main earner. Sometimes I can pick up shifts and sometimes there isn’t anything.

I work with adult with learning disabilities in supported living and absolutely love it. It’s my dream job. the shifts are sleep ins - 4pm until 10am.

Iv been offered to become contracted, which would be amazing. It’s a £1 extra and obviously pension/holiday pay. It would be 3 night shifts a week.

I really really want it. But I’m not sure it works with my husbands shifts. He works 12 hour days or nights but does 14 a month.

Work said they might have abit of wiggle room.

It’s like on week 1 I can’t do Monday - weds but I can do the rest of the days.

Obviously work knows this as Iv been there 2 years. Next month I have 160 hours Iv managed to book.
They said they can put me through an NVQ.

I will be absolutely gutted if I can’t get it. Im hoping we can work something out but if not I could cry. My whole career is on hold because of his shifts. It’s not bloody fair.

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy

If your husband's employer uses a continental shift pattern, they are unlikely to make an exception for one employee. I work in HR and I would firstly urge you both to look at the long term health effects on your husband. These shift patterns are literally killers. I'm not exaggerating, there are many studies on this. DP spent years in such an industry and I'm frankly shocked at how many funerals he goes to for ex-colleagues in their 60s. He will never do those shifts again.

If your husband could change his job to one with regular shifts it would not only be better for his physical and mental health, it would also make it easier for you to work more, which would mitigate any financial hit.

Um what? So he can’t do night shift as it’s a killer, so he can stop and she does them instead?

Do we know where the OPs DH works? I work in the public sector and I work a flexible working pattern as do many other people. It surely depends on the organisation and the role as to how flexible they are.

Night shifts are bad for your health, but it's switching between days and nights that has the worst impact. I just think they should think about this as well as the impact on her career.

The husband isn’t on nights he’s on a changing shift pattern some days and then nights which I understand is the absolute worse for health and from op’s point of view a nightmare for childcare as sometimes they’ll need overnight childcare and sometimes evening from when op goes in for 4pm shift until husband gets home. Plus both could be working holidays like Christmas when childcare is none existent.
One reason it will be well paid for him is anti social hours.
In op’s favour is she’s been there 2 years and reliable care staff are in demand. I’d have thought a frank talk with manager would result in a solution. If op’s husband knows shifts months in advance and manager can put her on shift around that it helps op and employer. If this care facility can’t accommodate that then try another.