Expected my 6 yr old to stand on the bus…

[TheViewFromTheCheapSeats]

Aibu. Bus was full with everyone at a window seat, but most aisle seats free.

Got on, I stood with the older ones but told my just six year old to sit. It’s a little jerky bus and also has few steps to fall down. She’s the kind of kid to fall, looks young so no way they thought she was older

4 women (each around age 30-50) put bags down or shooed her away from the empty seat next to them.

‘Social distancing’. Aibu to have been annoyed and spoken to them and told one to move her bag? In the end one flounced off dramatically and said she’d walk the last stop.

I see I'm being accused of "vile attitudes" for suggesting that people who don't want to sit next to someone else on a bus should consider other forms of transport. But if you're getting on a bus you have to accept that you are occupying limited space with other people who may, but hopefully will not be infectious.

Covid wariness doesn't entitle you to a double seat, regardless. And putting your shopping on the seat next to you won't protect you from it either. Hopefully those people who can be are masked and jabbed and windows open.

Pre covid I had to stand with my 4 year old and large bump with baby 2, I was not the only pregnant woman standing either. Not many give up their space and people think they are entitled to much more of it these days.

@Chocolatewheatos you missed out parent carrying baby in a sling. You can't stand even if you want to as you take up to much standing room and are a fall risk.

The age or ability of the child is irrelevant here anyway. If there’s a free seat another passenger is entitled to sit in it. And should sit in it as sitting is generally safer than standing on a bus. Kids in my day were expected to sit in cars without a seatbelt, was that because they were more ‘robust’ and were immune to RTAs? Pretty sure the statistics don’t back that up!

In the olden days, when I was a child, we were expected to give up seats on public transport for adults, regardless of age. And as schools drove the last increase in Covid infection, I am probably in a minority of one in being with the bag ladies.

The buses are so full here in London that they often don’t even stop to pick up new passengers. That’s double decker buses. People get off to let the people upstairs get through to get off, then get back on after. Sometimes the doors at the front don’t even open as people are up against them. I find it mad to think people would save space next to them for shopping or social distancing when there are people standing almost on top of each other like at a festival or orgy. Socials distancing on London buses just isn’t happening in the real world.

@ElephantOfRisk

Covid is the new "bag on the seat" method for rude people to get what they want.

Exactly what I was going to say! Seat hogging with bags is as old as the hills, Covid has just given them a supposed excuse. I once told a woman 'either move it or I sit on it', she moved it. If the passengers are so Covid sensitive then let them walk or take a taxi!

@Spanielsarepainless

In the olden days, when I was a child, we were expected to give up seats on public transport for adults, regardless of age. And as schools drove the last increase in Covid infection, I am probably in a minority of one in being with the bag ladies.

Then you and the other bag laides need to avoid public transport all together.

@Confrontayshunme

They wanted physical space and you instructed your child to invade it. You don't know whether they are vulnerable and schoolchildren are the most infectious right now. Not in a pandemic? It would have been fine. Now? You were definitely BU.

Your post is unreasonable! If people are vulnerable, don't take a bus! They are germ infested.

A 6 year old needs a seat. You are not being unreasonable Op.

To be fair, I think if there were multiple seats available and some people had masks on and others didn't, I'd sit next to a non masked person. However, if a seat was needed and all existing occupants were wearing a mask, I would still expect to use a seat.

I mean it's pretty clear that in the main, masks are useless, but for me it would indicate that the wearer felt vulnerable and i'd attempt to minimise that if possible, cos I'm not usually a cow.

Still mandatory masks in Scotland anyway so wearing one indicates feck all.

To quote a great train ticket inspector: "seats are for passengers, not bags"
(heard that a few years back on a packed train, as he told off some seat-hoarders for taking the piss. Can't fault the logic there)

For those asking about the ‘shoo’, the one in the seat she actually went for waved fingers inches from her face and used her bag to guide her back away from where she was about to sit. She looked at the woman behind, who shook her head and then the two the other side moved bags even closer to the aisle. I did get annoyed with the first and told her I’d sit down, did she fancy shooing me and the woman flounced off. I’m pretty sure she was younger than me and was more than able to stomp about.

The risk of a sudden braking by the bus and falls I’m sure is higher than a vaccinated mask wearing person catching Covid from a child because they are 2 foot closer. Like why tfl are asking people to hold the handrails on escalators, you have more risk of falling down it not holding on than catching Covid from it.

I don’t see why my child should risk it a greater risk for their peace of mind. When it’s not even a rule, it’s just a want. Buses do have accidents, I’ve been in more than one minor clip on a bus over the years where I’ve been flung forward by a sudden stop. Last year a bus driver not far away even died in a crash. It’s why we have seatbelts on most road vehicles, the risk is real. Otherwise we’d not bother with seatbelts in cars. The seats are free and far far safer for my child, their (rather irrational) fears don’t override her right to be as safe as possible.

The buggy area was full with a buggy, the only standing space was nearer the back up two steps so further to fall.

Were ay of them wearing masks OP?

I would have just moved the bags myself. YABU for not looking out for your daughter and doing that.

and you don't have to justify any of your decisions here, you boarded a bus, there were free seats, you could sit on any of them.

I have some anxieties, not bus or covid related, but it's up to me to accommodate and deal with that, no-one else.

@MyDcAreMarvel

What vile attitudes some posters. If you a vulnerable but can’t afford a car or a taxi then it’s tough luck you should just risk serious illness.

But that’s just life now unfortunately. If you need to take public transport and you’re cev then you are at larger risk because people are likely to be close to you. The only thing I could really suggest would be to petition the bus company to cut their allowed passengers in half to allow for social distancing. What’s not reasonable is to expect other passengers to stand when seats are free.

[quote julieca]@Chocolatewheatos I used to have to stand as a kid on a bus. It was always fine. But we were expected to be more robust than kids today.[/quote]
I’m sure the ladies could have bought more robust bags if they were that worried.

But I was expected to play outdoors all day when I was younger. And do homework with no help. And walk to school in the pouring rain without wellies. I don’t expect my kids to have to do any of that just because I had to, and I certainly don’t expect them to stand on a bus so a handbag can have it’s own seat.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

Why do you not understand about social distancing?

Young children are not vaccinated and are potential carriers of COVID. I wouldn't want one sat next to me.

It’s a bus though, as in public transport used by many, from the young ones to the elderly. Plus tbh, many adults also aren’t vaccinated anyway 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

If the system isn’t designed fir people to socially distanced and they physically can’t do it, then people should avoid public transport altogether.

If there were no spare seats, I'd have my 6 year old on my knee or let them stand. Have to say I ask my kids to offer adults their seats if the bus or train is full. If they decline, that's fine. But I think it's a respect thing that they should let adults sit down as they're young and healthy.

Keeping spare seats empty by putting bags on them is not on though. If you don't want a child or passenger sat next to you, you should stand (if able to), reconsider your travel arrangements or accept you're being unreadable. Seats are for sitting on.

Unreasonable even

I was a child in the 80s and a teen in the 90s and was always taught to give up my seat for an adults

My children were raised to do the same. It's manners and respect.
If I was small I sat on my mums knee and same for my kids until they could stand safely

Covid anxiety doesn't entitle people to take up more than their fair share of space. Trying to keep a seat free when a bus is rammed really isn't on.

There are a few things people can do. They can travel at less busy times...I know quite a few workplaces who are offering later/staggered starts if requested by vulnerable people. Or they can double-mask...again, I've seen a few people wearing a mark and then a visor on top. Or they can get up and stand themselves if they really don't want to have to sit next to anyone.

@misssunshine4040 as a child in the 80s I never had to get up for a bag personally. I’ll admit I’m not English though, was it a thing for you? Did you mum say often ‘that ladies handbag needs your seat?’, and you’d have to stand? Sounds odd if I’m honest.

I’m surprised how many people would be fine if I say in the seat, with her on my lap, but not if I stand next to her while she sits. I often stand and give her my seat because I’m aware me and a child in the seat plus my bag really crowds the person next to me and is a bit squashy for them. They have more space if I stand up, and I’m just as happy to stand.