Expected my 6 yr old to stand on the bus…

[TheViewFromTheCheapSeats]

Aibu. Bus was full with everyone at a window seat, but most aisle seats free.

Got on, I stood with the older ones but told my just six year old to sit. It’s a little jerky bus and also has few steps to fall down. She’s the kind of kid to fall, looks young so no way they thought she was older

4 women (each around age 30-50) put bags down or shooed her away from the empty seat next to them.

‘Social distancing’. Aibu to have been annoyed and spoken to them and told one to move her bag? In the end one flounced off dramatically and said she’d walk the last stop.

The rules on our local (SW) buses during restrictions were that you could not sit next to anyone unless you were together, reducing capacity by half. Now we have reverted to having to wear face masks I’d think we are one step away from this again.

I remember the 70s - children stood up for adults, and under 5s were expected to be on your knee where necessary and possible, as they hadn’t paid for their seat. No free bus passes in those days!

@Effram

My 3 year old stands on the bus and just holds on to a low down rail and it's fine. Often people then ask if he'd like to sit down on the aisle seat and if so then we take them up (unless he decides he'd prefer to stand!). I can understand people not wanting to share their seats. We stand up to give up a seat for anyone who appears to need it, he has good young legs to stand on!

But these women were not being asked to share or give up their own seats. They were preventing a child from sitting down next to them. In a seat that was not theirs to control.

OP, what do you think they would have done if you had sat down in one of the seats, while your child stood beside you?

@Effram that’s lovely your bus has a nice low rail for kids. Slightly off topic, but nice for you I guess.

Round here children pay half price so are not entitled to a seat if there are adults standing. Not sure what the policy is where there are seats free but people are standing anyway.

I meant he would only sit in the seat next to them if they offered. If they offered their own seat I would say no thanks.

The low rails are by the doors/near the buggy area. Surely they're on most buses?

@starfishmummy

Round here children pay half price so are not entitled to a seat if there are adults standing. Not sure what the policy is where there are seats free but people are standing anyway.

so people in receipt of free bus-passes aren't allowed a seat either?

I think it's an etiquette situation rather than a rules of the ticket situation. We often had a "free travel" for DC type tickets on the train. I presume they should have been strapped to the roof or clinging to the side of the train?

YANBU. They should try that on a London bus . Although people do spread out as best as they can, no one likes a seat-hogger.

Where we live, adults will often give up their seats for unsteady children as the buses tend to jerk and swing around corners and I haven't come across any adults who are jerks to the extent that they are happy for a small child to measure their length across the bus floor or slam into the side. It's quite difficult for the adults to keep upright sometimes. I will often sit my DC on my knee to make room for another adult, though most able-bodied adults prefer standing since Covid.

That said, we have had to stand once or twice when the bus has been packed and my DC found being thrown around the corners quite exciting. I find it less exciting when we sit upstairs and they are almost thrown headlong down the staircase as we try to get off.

@Effram guess what was already in the buggy space

why should a child stand, and fall (less to hold onto when you are short and more likely to fall

Under 5 because they haven’t paid for a seat. If they need to sit they can sit on your knee. Older kids, because they only pay half. If seats are free fine, but otherwise, save them for people who have paid.

Kids stand on buses all the time, we all did it as kids, and nobody died because of it.

@starfishmummy so the solution is next time I just sit in the seat? With her on my lap?

@NoBetterthanSheShouldBe

The rules on our local (SW) buses during restrictions were that you could not sit next to anyone unless you were together, reducing capacity by half. Now we have reverted to having to wear face masks I’d think we are one step away from this again.

I remember the 70s - children stood up for adults, and under 5s were expected to be on your knee where necessary and possible, as they hadn’t paid for their seat. No free bus passes in those days!

But OP was standing, so even if her DC sat down, they only had one seat between them.

Would it have been more acceptable if OP sat on that seat with DC on her lap?

@BoredZelda thanks, next time I’ll crowd in to them and sit down myself, with her on my
lap. We’ll have 1.5x the seat entitlement between us so presumably everyone can move?

In fact, I reckon I can take a child on each knee giving us twice the seat entitlement on that logic… 😂

When I was a child, I was expected to give my seat to any adult standing. My parents considered this basic good manners.

Now that I'm an adult, I'm damned if I will stand for children to sit, however I will always offer my seat to pregnant women and anyone carrying a baby or toddler.

I get wanting to social distance but one of those females could have gave yo their whole seat for your dd. I would have absolutely let a 6 year old sit next to me or just given the whole seat for both of you.

With my dd she could not stand on a bus, she looks physically able to most people but she has down motor skill delays, hypermobility, low muscle, balance issues and other things (she's 6 too!), shes so unsteady and she would likely fall and bash her head. She can't even walk down stairs confidently without tripping over. Thankfully I don't take her on a bus often.

@BoredZelda

why should a child stand, and fall (less to hold onto when you are short and more likely to fall

Under 5 because they haven’t paid for a seat. If they need to sit they can sit on your knee. Older kids, because they only pay half. If seats are free fine, but otherwise, save them for people who have paid.

Kids stand on buses all the time, we all did it as kids, and nobody died because of it.

In London old people don’t pay for the buses as they have freedom passes so by your theory people who don’t pay should stand then!

@Cacee3029

I get wanting to social distance but one of those females could have gave yo their whole seat for your dd. I would have absolutely let a 6 year old sit next to me or just given the whole seat for both of you.

With my dd she could not stand on a bus, she looks physically able to most people but she has down motor skill delays, hypermobility, low muscle, balance issues and other things (she's 6 too!), shes so unsteady and she would likely fall and bash her head. She can't even walk down stairs confidently without tripping over. Thankfully I don't take her on a bus often.

Some not down *

As another poster said why didn't you sit down with your daughter on your lap. No need for either of you to stand. I thought everyone did this on crowded buses.

@BoredZelda

why should a child stand, and fall (less to hold onto when you are short and more likely to fall

Under 5 because they haven’t paid for a seat. If they need to sit they can sit on your knee. Older kids, because they only pay half. If seats are free fine, but otherwise, save them for people who have paid.

Kids stand on buses all the time, we all did it as kids, and nobody died because of it.

Yeah and the elderly who get free bus passes and haven't paid should be standing too of course and saving the seats for people who actually paid. Freeloaders the lot of them.

@Confrontayshunme

They wanted physical space and you instructed your child to invade it. You don't know whether they are vulnerable and schoolchildren are the most infectious right now. Not in a pandemic? It would have been fine. Now? You were definitely BU.

Don't get on a bus if you are worried about being vulnerable and avoid covid. Buses are germy even if no one is sitting right by you.

@Tal45 she also forgot disabled people and their free passes. Presumably they must also stand.

@Confrontayshunme

They wanted physical space and you instructed your child to invade it. You don't know whether they are vulnerable and schoolchildren are the most infectious right now. Not in a pandemic? It would have been fine. Now? You were definitely BU.

Errrrr and since when has ‘only one seat per set to be used’ rule been made?! Social distancing rules have been scrapped in England line that for months.

Just because the women feel they want more space, tough luck to them, not OP!

YADNBU OP I hate it when people think they own the fucking 2 seats.

I was on a packed out train the other day and there was a couple with suitcases on two seats and there were a load of lads standing. If I’d have been the lads, the selfish couple would have been getting told to move their suitcases. Cheeky bastards like. They shouldn’t need to asked.

Under 5 because they haven’t paid for a seat. If they need to sit they can sit on your knee. Older kids, because they only pay half. If seats are free fine, but otherwise, save them for people who have paid.

Kids stand on buses all the time, we all did it as kids, and nobody died because of it

Tell that to some of the bus drivers on my local routes in London.

Since the social distance rules have gone they will now frequently refuse to move the bus if one person is standing downstairs and they can see a seat.

I've spent 15 minutes on a bus with a bus driver doing this until passenger pressure made a man seat down next to someone. This is because several of the routes go around tight corners plus they have to frequently stop/get out of the way for emergency vehicles.

I feel like so many people are using the pandemic as a handy excuse to be arseholes. YANBU

Im gonna bite the bullet here op and say as irrational as it sounds when ever im around children im aware how covid is spreading in schools and how likey they are to carry it at the moment. Unlike adults you very rarely if at all see children with masks on and you cant trust that if they were to cough or sneeze that they would cover themselves.

I know its sounds irrational but we arent in rational times or circumstances right now. So i wouldnt be happy to have a child sit next to me.

For those saying well if they were that covid alert they wouldnt be on the bus in the first place is just plain ignorant. Alot of people dont have a choice if they have no car and need to get groceries or to work or to a loved one. Life doesnt go on hold no but people are in their right to be precautious.

That being said if a child sat next to me on a bus i wouldnt make it so they couldnt, i would reluctantly bite my lip and get over it because i wouldnt be able to justify my own means over theirs.

However that doesnt mean everyone is the same. Also there is just a high chance that this whole incident isnt covid related at all and they were just grumpy ladies that wanted to selfishly take up the bus.

Either way my point is op you cant expect people to react the same anymore. Times have changed, as sad as it is