Think about the event or the person every single day. Have done for years. Sometimes i see their face in actors or I think about it when I am drinking tea or looking at a photo and then that cup or photo (or whatever else there is) and then that cup is their cup That photo is their photo.
I bought them a selection box one year to try to mend bridges. Now selection boxes belong to them and it tars every single Christmas
l need to get over it. certain actors remind me of them. Especially if they play a predatory role. I can't watch so many good films because of it or read books because there is a film.
its hard to explain.
For example. (this will be easy to explain in one example how it is effecting me daily)
Imagine 50 shades of grey.
The actors looks like the person.
So every film the main 2 actors are in have to be avoided.
All of the books have to be avoided and the next films in the series. This was hard when there were busses and billboard posters everywhere.
The book starts with her brushing her hair so now brushing my hair reminds me of this event or person
the number 50 now has to be avoided.
and the colour grey.
I've never watched or read it or even been interested in it. But now I can't brush my hair or my daughters hair, have 50 on the volume or have to turn my phone off when it hits 50.
grey was a popular colour scheme and 2 friends painted their living rooms grey. Well I can't go to their houses because it reminds me of the thing I'm trying to avoid.
It is so irrational but one actor looks like someone so now I have lost hair brushing, the number 50, the colour grey and visuts to 2 friends houses.
Now imagine another actor is in the marvel avengers series... My kid likes Iron man but .... its happening again.
or the date. or the place. They are family so sometimes Christmas, or my parents house is invaded. All of the letters of their name.
it was over 10 years ago now
and peaking.
We saw them by chance on our family holiday. I managed to block it out and I completely forgot they were even there. My dh reminded me that we bumped into them. Now that holiday has to be forgotten. All of the little trinkets or clothes we took has that person attached. They have never been to my home but over the years every thing in there has the memory or reminds me of the person.
It is getting ridiculous.
I felt so sick this morning. Hadn't slept a single wink was awake until 7 am. then up with the children.
Having a shower helps because I can feel I can clean myself and start again but it only takes until I dry my hair and need to brush it when it starts again
I actually don't brush my hair for days at a time, its pretty fine and straight so not too bad for a couple of days. I can plait it and it keeps neat for a while but I am just slowly losing everything.
I didn't think about it for the first 4 years at all, they moved away and were only mentioned occasionally. Now they are back there is a reminder in everything.