To have lost all faith in him

Rosebel · 2021-11-30T12:07:22+00:00

My daughter messaged me from school asking if I could drop some money in for lunch. 18 month old was asleep so I asked next door if she'd mind sitting with him for 20 minutes so I could drop the money in. She said it was fine so all sorted. Came back and my husband called, as he usually does at lunch time and I said what had happened. He asked why I'd got the neighbour to come round and I should have just gone out and left him. I'm honestly horrified and shocked that he would suggest something so stupid and dangerous. He said that's what he would have done. I've just lost any faith in his ability to be an even half decent parent. Tbh things haven't been great between us and not sure what will happen after Christmas but this is another league. Surely no one with half a brain cell would suggest or do something so stupid. YABU I'd have left him alone sleeping YANBU your husband is a twat

namechange30455 · 30/11/2021 12:10

Of course YANBU!

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/11/2021 12:12

Er what.

shouldistop · 30/11/2021 12:14

Yanbu. He wouldn't be looking after the toddler alone again if he was my dh.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/11/2021 12:20

A friend of mine did this. I was initially horrified. But she explained that her child couldn't walk yet, couldn't climb yet, she turned absolutely everything off at the plug so risk of fire was non existent, detached house. Locked the doors. Was gone for fifteen minutes. She was adamant it's fine. The absolute worst that could have happened is the baby could have woken up and cried. The risk of a baby snatcher breaking in to the house is so small as to be disregarded. I pointed out what if something had happened to her. She acknowledged fair point, but apart from that was absolutely happy with her decision. She stopped as soon as her children could walk or climb out of cot.

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/11/2021 12:23

Oh my god don’t be dim @arethereanyleftatall

The greater risk is something happening TO HER so she can’t get back.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/11/2021 12:24

Yes. I detailed that.

shouldistop · 30/11/2021 12:24

Your friend is a terrible parent @arethereanyleftatall

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/11/2021 12:24

Sorry I see you said that but obviously of she’s been hit by a car that would be it. Lost her keys even. And even if she was fine social services would be all over it if they realised.

I wouldn’t give someone who thought that was ok the fine of day.

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/11/2021 12:24

*time of day

arethereanyleftatall · 30/11/2021 12:25

@shouldistop

Your friend is a terrible parent *@arethereanyleftatall*

That's the interesting thing. She isn't. She's absolutely awesome.

Lulu1919 · 30/11/2021 12:26

@arethereanyleftatall

A friend of mine did this. I was initially horrified. But she explained that her child couldn't walk yet, couldn't climb yet, she turned absolutely everything off at the plug so risk of fire was non existent, detached house. Locked the doors. Was gone for fifteen minutes. She was adamant it's fine. The absolute worst that could have happened is the baby could have woken up and cried. The risk of a baby snatcher breaking in to the house is so small as to be disregarded. I pointed out what if something had happened to her. She acknowledged fair point, but apart from that was absolutely happy with her decision. She stopped as soon as her children could walk or climb out of cot.

What if something happens to her whilst she was out ? Who would know baby was alone ....

ImNotShpanishImEgyptshun · 30/11/2021 12:26

I read something on here which I think sums up this dilemma perfectly. "The odds are low, but the stakes are high."

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/11/2021 12:28

@arethereanyleftatall

She isn’t. Stop fangirling a parent who thinks it’s ok to leave their baby alone while they dick about running errands.

PostingForTheFirstTime · 30/11/2021 12:29

"She stopped as soon as her children could walk or climb out of cot."

And if her child discovered that they could climb out of the cot for the first time when she was out? Particularly if they were spurred to try to do so because mummy wasn't coming when called?

arethereanyleftatall · 30/11/2021 12:30

Lol, I'm not going to get in to an argument with you @WheelieBinPrincess about someone you don't know.

This thread will be pointless for the op if everyone just says 'you're right.' Its always good to think about the other side of things. My friend genuinely thinks that was safer than leaving say a ten year old who could get up to mischief. Im not saying I agree with her, I don't.

cheeseislife8 · 30/11/2021 12:33

OP yanbu, of course you're not. I'd be thinking seriously about his ability to parent responsibly when left alone with your DC in the future

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/11/2021 12:33

I mean I don’t know the MaCan’s but I can say they made a poor parenting choice and paid an horrific price. You don’t have to know people to think their choices are whack.

peboh · 30/11/2021 12:33

@arethereanyleftatall

A friend of mine did this. I was initially horrified. But she explained that her child couldn't walk yet, couldn't climb yet, she turned absolutely everything off at the plug so risk of fire was non existent, detached house. Locked the doors. Was gone for fifteen minutes. She was adamant it's fine. The absolute worst that could have happened is the baby could have woken up and cried. The risk of a baby snatcher breaking in to the house is so small as to be disregarded. I pointed out what if something had happened to her. She acknowledged fair point, but apart from that was absolutely happy with her decision. She stopped as soon as her children could walk or climb out of cot.

You never know when a child is going to crawl, climb or roll. Your friend is not a good parent, and should have been ported to social services.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/11/2021 12:34

With regard to the 'what if she was hit by a car' her answer would have been 'better that just she was hit by a car, rather than herself AND her baby hit by a car if she had taken baby with her, husband was due to be home in a few hours'

peboh · 30/11/2021 12:35

@arethereanyleftatall

With regard to the 'what if she was hit by a car' her answer would have been 'better that just she was hit by a car, rather than herself AND her baby hit by a car if she had taken baby with her, husband was due to be home in a few hours'

Yeah that doesn't make it any better. Why nobody reported her to the police or social services is beyond me. Clearly none of you are good people.

orangechairs · 30/11/2021 12:35

@shouldistop

Your friend is a terrible parent *@arethereanyleftatall*

Agreed!! That is absolutely terrible parenting.

What if the adult got stuck in traffic, held up in a shop, hurt, came across an emergency etc.

Also, what if the non walking, non talking, sleeping baby was sick in those 15 minutes. There was a celeb post recently that she heard her baby making weird sounds during his nap. Turns out he had breathing difficulties and ended up in NICU for a week. she said if she hadn't gone into his room he could've died within minutes.

Why risk it?! Honestly, why?

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/11/2021 12:36

@arethereanyleftatall what are you smoking 😂

She’d have had her baby removed in that situation, if she’d had to leave her baby alone in the house to wait for the husband to get home because she was in a&e or whatever.

orangechairs · 30/11/2021 12:38

YANBU OP

arethereanyleftatall · 30/11/2021 12:39

But on this point alone @WheelieBinPrincess, ie the side story of mum hit by a car, can you not concede that the baby was safer in their cot rather than also being hit by the car?

Original poster

Rosebel · 30/11/2021 12:40

I would never have been able to forgive myself if I left him and something happened.
I was more concerned about having an accident than anything. At least with my neighbour there she could take care of LO and raise the alarm if something happened and I didn't return.

OP posts: