To have lost all faith in him

[Rosebel]

My daughter messaged me from school asking if I could drop some money in for lunch.
18 month old was asleep so I asked next door if she'd mind sitting with him for 20 minutes so I could drop the money in.
She said it was fine so all sorted.
Came back and my husband called, as he usually does at lunch time and I said what had happened.
He asked why I'd got the neighbour to come round and I should have just gone out and left him. I'm honestly horrified and shocked that he would suggest something so stupid and dangerous. He said that's what he would have done.
I've just lost any faith in his ability to be an even half decent parent. Tbh things haven't been great between us and not sure what will happen after Christmas but this is another league.
Surely no one with half a brain cell would suggest or do something so stupid.
YABU I'd have left him alone sleeping
YANBU your husband is a twat

@arethereanyleftatall

You don’t leave your baby at home alone in case you are hit by a car when out and about, that’s a ludicrous way of looking at things.

@arethereanyleftatall

But on this point alone *@WheelieBinPrincess*, ie the side story of mum hit by a car, can you not concede that the baby was safer in their cot rather than also being hit by the car?

That logic is shocking. The baby could have found a way to climb out of their cot, fallen and seriously injured themselves. You don't know what age children are going to do those things. How on earth can you justify a parent leaving their child alone?!

Fire?
Who the hell are the 2 % who would leave a baby home alone?

The mum would be rushing though, if her child was at home alone, so far, far more likely to have an accident. If her baby was with her, she wouldn't be as likely to be rushing.

In any case, though she might be a great parent in other ways, in this way she's absolutely neglectful.

Should be more organised with the lunch money moving forward to avoid instances like this for all concerned.

I wouldn’t trust a neighbour with my child.

I have zero concerns about my neighbour. We've lived next door to each other for 10 years and she is a lovely person and mum.
Obviously we should have been more organised but just one of those things.

With regard to the 'what if she was hit by a car' her answer would have been 'better that just she was hit by a car, rather than herself AND her baby hit by a car if she had taken baby with her, husband was due to be home in a few hours'

Yeah right - whatever. You're being facetious for the sheer hell of it.

Your friend is an idiot - hope that helps to clarify things.

@S2617

Should be more organised with the lunch money moving forward to avoid instances like this for all concerned.

I wouldn’t trust a neighbour with my child.

That's personal though. If trust my neighbour with my daughter, just as she has trusted me with her children the odd time. We've known each other for over 7 years, and I have no doubts she'd look after my daughter well for a half hour or so if I needed her to.

@WheelieBinPrincess

Oh my god don’t be dim *@arethereanyleftatall*

The greater risk is something happening TO HER so she can’t get back.

But something could happen to her at home.

@dworky well then she’d be at home but not have broken any laws or deliberately put her children at risk

That's a really good point @dworky

I think this is one of those subjects where people's immediate reaction is horrified. As was mine when my friend said she did it. But when you think about the actual genuine risks, leaving out the drama and hysterics, they are negligible.

Pretty much of all the places to be for a baby (young enough that they're not about to jump out), their cot is the safest.

@arethereanyleftatall it’s only a good point if you’re incapable of critical thinking, which it seems you are.

On the contrary I'm afraid @WheelieBinPrincess, I'm excellent at thinking from both sides. 😜

I'm warming to my theme here and playing devils advocate but...

Risks of taking baby with...traffic accident/covid exposure/other germ exposure

Risk of leaving (no where near walking) baby alone in cot...mum has accident while out and baby is left safely for maximum a few hours. Only if accident is so bad that she can't use her phone.

Disclaimer. Yes I'm being contrary. No, I've never done it.

And I’ll ask again- what the fuck are you smoking.

This thread is bonkers. As is your husband for thinking this is OK. YANBU.

@arethereanyleftatall my friend is dealing with the aftermath of a house fire. Electrical fault. Had to flee the house in their pjs.

Imagine if it had happened during the day and she’d left her baby at home alone in the cot.

Your friend really isn’t an awesome parent.

I think it's one or the most basic rules of parenting not to leave your children alone in the house irrespective of whether it's "safe" or not. It's just 100% not something a normal, responsible parent would do or would feel happy doing either.