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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think cleaner should try not to clean in the room I am using

105 replies

JuJuPanda · 30/11/2021 09:51

We've got a cleaner for the first time and she comes for a full day. I've noticed that she often ends up cleaning in whatever area I'm in - AIBU to tell her not to do that?

It's not like I expect her to be silent as a mouse but it's a bit annoying when I sit in the living room to call my mum and a couple of minutes later she appears with mop and hoover or DD decides she wants to play outside and within minutes there she is to noisily sweep the patio. I'm grateful for the work she does but it seems unnecessarily intrusive!

OP posts:
ChocolateDeficitDisorder · 30/11/2021 10:49

Thanks for the judgement on me "sitting around at home" looking after my toddler btw!

The majority of people on this board have looked after toddlers at home and never had a cleaner.

morechocolateneededtoday · 30/11/2021 10:50

@JuJuPanda

I don't need her to be ultra efficient and work to a routine though. As I said, she comes for the whole day so I guess she's more of a housekeeper than a cleaner.

I don't think the arrangement will last tbh, if this is normal (which clearly it is!) it obviously doesn't suit me. Thanks for the judgement on me "sitting around at home" looking after my toddler btw!

It is called communication.

I despair that you think it is better to post a thread on a forum than actually first speak to her about how she works and try come to an arrangement for what will work best Hmm

foxy86 · 30/11/2021 10:50

There was a thread on here a few weeks ago from a cleaner asking about people getting in her way when cleaning and people were saying the opposite that they pay her and it is their house so can be in any room they want. People need to make their minds up. You either want to stay out of the cleaners way or expect them to stay out of yours. Can’t have it both wats.
OP, I would just speak to her and ask her rota for cleaning so you know when to vacate a room. I would just make sure I was out of the house so I wasn’t under her feet.

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 30/11/2021 10:52

Generally when you have a cleaner you don’t stay in the house!!
I’m always out when my cleaner is here. And I pay for say 4 hours, but have 2 cleaners come at a time so they are here for less time

dangerrabbit · 30/11/2021 10:52

When I work from home I swap floors with the cleaner so she can do her thing in peace. She prefers me to be out of the house so I try to do that as much as possible. It's a privilege to have a cleaner and one to be appreciated.

shouldistop · 30/11/2021 10:53

I keep out of my cleaners way and if I need to stay in then I'll ask her not to clean a certain room and I'll stick to that room.

SophieHatterPendragon · 30/11/2021 10:54

We have a cleaner I take the kids out so she’s got space to do what she needs to do. She usually does upstairs first and works down but if it’s wet or we can’t go out I just ask her if she can do the living room first then the kids and I stay out her way
In there.

I hate this phrase but you do sound like hard work. It’s not that hard to stay out her way or ask her to do the rooms in a certain order

Original poster
JuJuPanda · 30/11/2021 10:54

@morechocolateneededtoday I asked because I wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable wanting her to adapt her way of doing things to whatever I happen to be doing. Based on the majority I am very unreasonable to ask that of her so I won't.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 30/11/2021 10:55
Hmm
Pugdogmom · 30/11/2021 10:57

You are paying her to clean, and you won't get out of her way so she can do the job you are paying her to do? How bizarre!

Birdsnesting · 30/11/2021 10:57

Do you not communicate with her, you know, with words?

GiltEdges · 30/11/2021 10:58

It's not like I expect her to be silent as a mouse but it's a bit annoying when I sit in the living room to call my mum and a couple of minutes later she appears with mop and hoover

She's there to clean, so presumably you want her to actually do the cleaning? Would you prefer that she downed tools until you finished your call? Or just not clean the living room that day? And if so, will it always be the living room or next time might it be the kitchen that she needs to avoid because you're in it?

At the moment it sounds like you're getting frustrated whilst expecting someone to be psychic about what you expect from them, even though what you expect is very much not the norm...

OnceUponAThread · 30/11/2021 11:02

[quote JuJuPanda]@morechocolateneededtoday I asked because I wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable wanting her to adapt her way of doing things to whatever I happen to be doing. Based on the majority I am very unreasonable to ask that of her so I won't.[/quote]
I think you can ask her to adapt - sort of. But ideally to a routine, rather than to use avoiding you as you float around the house.

Otherwise it will be useless. She starts the kitchen - you go in, she abandons it half done. She starts a bedroom, you appear, bed is half made. Nothing will ever be finished.

But - absolutely fine to say:

  • do you mind doing upstairs first as I'm going to be downstairs. Then we're planning to be in the garden so you can do downstairs etc.
  • I'm on a call between 12-13:30, could you avoid hoovering at that time.
  • DS is napping at 3pm, can you do downstairs then.

Or whatever.

Just talk to her. Work out a routine and order that works for you both. Then stick to it as far as possible. And alert her if any changes need making.

That said - the Seen and Not Heard thing is quite odd and unreasonable. She's going to be in your house for a whole day each week!

Offmyfence · 30/11/2021 11:06

@JuJuPanda

I don't need her to be ultra efficient and work to a routine though. As I said, she comes for the whole day so I guess she's more of a housekeeper than a cleaner.

I don't think the arrangement will last tbh, if this is normal (which clearly it is!) it obviously doesn't suit me. Thanks for the judgement on me "sitting around at home" looking after my toddler btw!

You're right it doesn't suit you, it must be dreadful for you.

Let her go.

Hopefully she'll get employed somewhere she's appreciated.

FlickerBeat · 30/11/2021 11:08

Poor woman.

Why employ someone to clean, only to then fucking moan about them doing a room you’re in?!

starrynight87 · 30/11/2021 11:12

Are your diamond shoes too tight OP?

girlmom21 · 30/11/2021 11:14

I don't need her to be ultra efficient and work to a routine though. As I said, she comes for the whole day so I guess she's more of a housekeeper than a cleaner.

If she cleaned your toilets and left dried toothpaste in your sink i bet you'd write a post about that, even if her intention was to go back and do that later.

If she doesn't have a routine things will get missed.

Globaluser · 30/11/2021 11:20

Jeez!! It’s not like you’re sat on the toilet having a shit and she’s waltz in to mop the floor 🙄

Just get your nanny to look after your child and perhaps then you’ll have more time to do the cleaning…

Globaluser · 30/11/2021 11:21

Just don’t clean in the same room your nanny is in 😂

Practicebeingpatient · 30/11/2021 11:24

Talk to her. If you know you want to be in the living room at a certain point ask her to do that room first or last.

Our cleaner likes to start upstairs and work down but if DH or visitors are still in bed when she arrives I ask her to start in the kitchen. Then she moves upstairs when everyone is up and dressed.

morechocolateneededtoday · 30/11/2021 11:32

[quote JuJuPanda]@morechocolateneededtoday I asked because I wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable wanting her to adapt her way of doing things to whatever I happen to be doing. Based on the majority I am very unreasonable to ask that of her so I won't.[/quote]
So surely the obvious solution is to speak to her!!!!
Ask her how she usually works and this can lead to whether is would be possible to adjust to do things in a different order. If it is clear she is set in her ways, it may not work for you. She may be extremely accommodating and happy to change things for you too..

Not asking her because the majority on here have said you are unreasonable is the most ridiculous thing in the world

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/11/2021 11:36

Maybe just have her come for 2 hours on a Monday and 2 hours on a Friday and leave the house with dd. Then she can clean unencumbered.

I'm not sure I have ever been in a house which takes a full day to clean. Unless she is also tidying as well/ironing etc

MRex · 30/11/2021 11:38

[quote JuJuPanda]@morechocolateneededtoday I asked because I wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable wanting her to adapt her way of doing things to whatever I happen to be doing. Based on the majority I am very unreasonable to ask that of her so I won't.[/quote]
"whatever I happen to be doing" is the issue; you can't expect her to work around your changing whims without any discussion.
Several of us have given you very clear suggestions for how to have a conversation to set out a plan for how to not get in each other's way. That is the middle ground between you being disturbed or her trying to figure out what you're up to next. If you can't manage a brief discussion to agree a work plan, then it's not appropriate for you to employ anyone.

BeeDavis · 30/11/2021 11:41

Seriously? If you’re sat on your arse while she cleans you could just clean the house yourself! It’s very therapeutic for me. You sound spoilt.

Fetchthevet · 30/11/2021 11:41

Say something like "I'd really appreciate it if you didn't clean a room while I'm in it. Thank you."