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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed they've cancelled my son's nativity

552 replies

JudesBiggestFan · 29/11/2021 15:22

I'm just so tired of the arbitrary and pointless decisions that rob children and parents of yet more joy.
Last year my son had his nativity play cancelled at preschool. This year, the school (after designating him a shepherd and giving him a line...the excitement!) have cancelled again. Because Covid. Never mind all the pubs, restaurants, Christmas shopping, family parties that all the kids, teachers and parents will be going to.
The nativity is some kind of super spreader event that must be forfeited!
It's not going to make the news, but I'm just so bloody tired of it all. He'll never be this little and innocent again...I tolerated it last year but my patience is gone.
Anyone who wants to be is jabbed, we have lateral flows, it's as safe as it ever will be.
Yet the commercial stuff can go on, but the pure joyful ness of a kids Christmas nativity can't. Just wanted to vent really. No point complaining in real life anymore!

OP posts:
CallmeHendricks · 29/11/2021 21:31

This is all shit, of course it is.
But that's the nature of a global pandemic.

Thebackofbeyondandback · 29/11/2021 21:31

It is pretty awful and ridiculous how aggressive people get at the merest suggestion of unhappiness.

Is it not enough to accept and abide by the rules? Do we now have to accept them with gratitude and joy too?

Italiandreams · 29/11/2021 21:33

Apologies @laiste. I think I was referring to the poster that wanted a back up plan for children who were absent for the nativity concert but I must have got confused. Sorry for the confusion.

TempsPerdu · 29/11/2021 21:35

@BogRollBOGOF Amen to all that. It’s DD’s birthday next week and we’re holding a party in a hall for 25 of her friends plus siblings. We slightly overdid it in terms of numbers mainly because it’s so close to Christmas and we were expecting half of them not to be able to come. Turns out every single child can make it. People are desperate to be allowed to celebrate.

Drumshambo · 29/11/2021 21:36

The sheer selfishness and self absorption of some parents on here is mind blowing. A bloody nativity play ffs. It's far more about them than their kids. Everybody has suffered during the last 18 months. It's not all about you and your school events. Put on a play at home if it's so importantl. I'll reserve my sympathy for the cev children and their parents who don't have the time or luxury to worry about such crap!

worriedandannoyed · 29/11/2021 21:36

@switswoo81

Not in UK but we are not supposed to sing indoors in classes so rehearsals would have been impossible.
No singing again? Has this rule come back? It's so sad 😞
Italiandreams · 29/11/2021 21:37

I don’t think anyone who works with children would disagree that a huge investment in mental health is needed, and sadly the government are more focused on other things and the cut backs in real terms in education are criminal. However, what needs to be remembered is that schools are trying to juggle so many plates, and yes it’s a bit rubbish if there is no nativity but the chances are they are privy to much more information than you when making the decision. The whole situation in unfair but please don’t make the first response to blame the school.

rrhuth · 29/11/2021 21:39

It is all really sad, I agree. But singing is really the worst for spreading covid. The reality of the virus is it is quite shit Sad but it is true what the WHO lead said - just because we are finsihed iwth covid doesn't mean covid is finished with us Sad.

bookworm14 · 29/11/2021 21:41

A-fucking-men, Bogroll.

Thebackofbeyondandback · 29/11/2021 21:43

It’s really weird the way that some posters are so adamant that you can only care about one thing at a time.

Who are you to tell somebody something doesn’t matter?

It matters to them. Of course it matters.

DroopyClematis · 29/11/2021 21:44

You do realise that most 5 year olds can't stand having to rehearse the Nativity or any other Christmas production?

They do it over and over and over again, every day for goodness knows how long.

However I do understand how you feel robbed of it as I've been robbed of three graduations.

DunderMifflinSalesRep · 29/11/2021 21:45

@BogRollBOGOF

It's just a nativity (x2) It's just a Christmas fair (x2) It's just a sports day (x2 but you can watch the football/ tennis on TV) It's just a residential trip It's just a class outing (x2) It's just a disco It's just trick or treating It's just a scout camp It's just two birthdays It's just a birthday party (x a lot!) It's just a holiday It's just Christmas It's just a swimming lesson (or half of your allowence) It's just an open evening It's just a parent's evening It's just seeing your mum's face as you walk out of school after holding it together all day It's just a kiss before you walk through the school doors each morning It's just 10 minutes waiting for your sibling (do not play! Keep your distance!) It's just a play ground It's just SEN support It's just 6.5 months off school without access to friends (when you can hear the key worker children at playtime from your garden) It's just to keep granny safe (even though the care home rules banned you from seeing her and it's now over two years and you barely remember her)

Good job kids are resilient isn't it eh? Hmm
It's just a nativity after all.

Cannot quote this enough. It sums it up perfectly.
liliainterfrutices · 29/11/2021 21:46

It is shit. I think the school are doing the right thing, I’m afraid, but it is shit. I’m sorry, OP. Flowers

liliainterfrutices · 29/11/2021 21:47

@Thebackofbeyondandback

It’s really weird the way that some posters are so adamant that you can only care about one thing at a time.

Who are you to tell somebody something doesn’t matter?

It matters to them. Of course it matters.

I so agree with this. All thesethings matter.
TempsPerdu · 29/11/2021 21:48

You do realise that most 5 year olds can't stand having to rehearse the Nativity or any other Christmas production?

They do it over and over and over again, every day for goodness knows how long

Not true in my experience. I taught Year 1 for years and they loved it. Beat yet another phonics lesson, anyway.

Porcupineintherough · 29/11/2021 21:49

Good job kids are resilient isn't it, eh?

Yes, it is. It's how they survive, even in conditions far tougher than these.

Rosebel · 29/11/2021 21:49

@Drumshambo

The sheer selfishness and self absorption of some parents on here is mind blowing. A bloody nativity play ffs. It's far more about them than their kids. Everybody has suffered during the last 18 months. It's not all about you and your school events. Put on a play at home if it's so importantl. I'll reserve my sympathy for the cev children and their parents who don't have the time or luxury to worry about such crap!
It's not just a naivety play though is it? It's everything. Kids have been through so much, all the kids not just CEV children. Don't you think young children deserve some sort of relief? I understand why it's been cancelled but that doesn't make it fair. My children are terrified every time I go to work because I'm clinically vulnerable so am at risk, should they just suck it up too and not worry about their mum dying. FFS. It's not really about a play and you know that.
Thebackofbeyondandback · 29/11/2021 21:50

Surviving is a fairly low baseline for what we want for our children.

TempsPerdu · 29/11/2021 21:51

Yes, it is. It's how they survive, even in conditions far tougher than these

Yep, kids are so resilient that there’s currently a massive child and teenage mental health crisis.

munchbunch12 · 29/11/2021 21:51

@bettybyebye

YANBU - DDs is supposed to be next week, they have done nothing but practice it for the last 2 weeks and I am dreading them cancelling it
Yep, this is me with my DD too.
Innocenta · 29/11/2021 21:51

all the kids not just CEV children.

What an awful thing to say.

isitbedtimeplease · 29/11/2021 21:52

@HeyMoana

It's not just the " play". It's sitting in rows in a freezing classroom doing sums in your coat because you have to have the door open when it's snowing outside for ventilation, when you're five! It's not participating in any competitive sport as you're all in bubbles and can't mix with other classes let alone other schools, when the only thing you're good at is sport. It's going to school everyday without ever being called to the front of a while school assembly for the school to clap you because you got a swimming certificate that you've tried a year to get. It's having chapped hands because you're asked to wash them fifteen times a day and you're little so don't dry them properly and go out in the cold. In my case, it's very clearly having a child with autism that can't get diagnosed through school because Covid has backed the service up so much. Covid is a problem but the collateral damage is huge. All the motivating bits about school are cancelled and all the challenging bits remain. The nativity is just another example of this and quite possible the thing that's sent OP over the edge 😉
100 💯 this.
Thebackofbeyondandback · 29/11/2021 21:52

And I don’t know whether some posters are being obtuse or not, but you can be upset / annoyed about something and still accept it has to happen.

I went to all my scans alone last year, I was left alone in hospital for two days until I went into active labour and then my husband had to leave despite my having had an EMCS. I was then trapped in the house for two months with a newborn.

I accept it. I still reserve the right to be disappointed and upset that a much awaited and longed for baby didn’t have a nicer introduction to the world.

Butteredtoast55 · 29/11/2021 21:52

As someone organising such events and trying to do them in a safe way that's still enjoyable for everyone, I've been told everything from what ridiculous Covid scaremongerers we are to it being my fault if the children get ill for Christmas or I kill someone's Grandparents. It'll be on me. So really schools can't win.

munchbunch12 · 29/11/2021 21:53

@BogRollBOGOF

It's just a nativity (x2) It's just a Christmas fair (x2) It's just a sports day (x2 but you can watch the football/ tennis on TV) It's just a residential trip It's just a class outing (x2) It's just a disco It's just trick or treating It's just a scout camp It's just two birthdays It's just a birthday party (x a lot!) It's just a holiday It's just Christmas It's just a swimming lesson (or half of your allowence) It's just an open evening It's just a parent's evening It's just seeing your mum's face as you walk out of school after holding it together all day It's just a kiss before you walk through the school doors each morning It's just 10 minutes waiting for your sibling (do not play! Keep your distance!) It's just a play ground It's just SEN support It's just 6.5 months off school without access to friends (when you can hear the key worker children at playtime from your garden) It's just to keep granny safe (even though the care home rules banned you from seeing her and it's now over two years and you barely remember her)

Good job kids are resilient isn't it eh? Hmm
It's just a nativity after all.

100% this.