To worry that ex H career may be affected by this

[flymetothezoo]

Long story short ex H is a narcissist and a bully in a very professional job requiring a high standard of behaviour.

While we were together he basically disclosed that he and others at work were trying to force a colleague out of their job by means of constructive dismissal (essentially bullied them).
This is one of the reasons I left him.

Ex colleague is now taking his workplace to tribunal and I am worried about whether if they win tribunal there will be a knock on effect of a professional standards investigation into him.

I didn't know where to post this but I am frantic with worry as we have DC together and I'm only surviving due to his maintenance. Is it likely this could affect his career?

Hopefully it will, sorry I know you're depending on him but he sounds horrid and like he needs investigating

@Footprintsinthegrass

Hopefully it will, sorry I know you're depending on him but he sounds horrid and like he needs investigating

Thank you I understand the sentiment completely.

You've suffered his narcissistic bullying, and now someone else has too.

If it does, he deserves it. Probably won't though, these kind of bastards very rarely get what they deserve.

You don't want to benefit from his bullying do you? If you do, I'm not sure you're much better than him.

You would survive without his maintenance, many thousands of women do.

May be think about earning some money of your own soon OP, do you really want to raise your kids on this moron’s ill gotten gains?

Thanks that's reassuring.

I think there are emails and other evidence of things he did to try to persuade his boss to fire this colleague I am assuming they will come up so it's a relief to think that ex H won't be pursued over these.

I feel for the person whose worklife was made so miserable that they felt forced to leave their job.

@Mybalconyiscracking

May be think about earning some money of your own soon OP, do you really want to raise your kids on this moron’s ill gotten gains?

Thank you, I'm disabled and can't work.

I agree he needs investigating

I wouldn’t worry too much about his career - in my experience abusive types like him tend to fail upwards somehow

Are you getting all the benefits you are entitled to?
How old are your children?

Depends what the emails say. It would need to be pretty explicit for a Prof standards body to get involved (I.e. wanting to get rid of someone because of their skin colour or sexuality). If he just didn't like the guy, I doubt it will get him I to much trouble.

@Mybalconyiscracking they are his kids as well so why should the OP not take his money.

@HappySM1

Depends what the emails say. It would need to be pretty explicit for a Prof standards body to get involved (I.e. wanting to get rid of someone because of their skin colour or sexuality). If he just didn't like the guy, I doubt it will get him I to much trouble.

It's a discrimination case

@Floundery

If he’s a lawyer don’t worry - it’s normal. Sadly. It sounds as though there is someone higher up the food chain who will get the entirely notional rap on the knuckles and then crack on as usual.

Seen it many, many times.

Thank you this is my worry

Try only to worry with what's on your plate today. Don't worry about what hasnt happened yet. :-)

Is he a lawyer, OP?

@HappySM1

Is he a lawyer, OP?

Yes.

It's a discrimination case and he's basically one of the discriminators. I don't know how these things work does the company become responsible or is there a filter down/disciplinary for the members of staff?

@Floundery

Honestly, OP - I worked in a law firm for 25 years and am a former partner. I have seen shit lawyers unceremoniously fired, decent lawyers managed out, constructive dismissal claims all over the shop, plenty of extra-marital shenanigans and the type of sexist and racist “banter” that would get you sacked anywhere else. It rarely got as far as tribunal - standard MO was to settle at 11th hour. It never once led to professional consequences for the lawyer. I can recall a partner in one firm who used an exceptionally derogatory sexist term (“gash” - the charmer) in a client email. It was widely reported at the time. He profusely apologized, the firm said something about it not being their usual standards of partner behaviour - and that was that. AFAIK he is still a partner. He is far from the only example. It stinks but from a purely financial perspective you/DC should be okay.

In fairness the Law Society is starting to take some interest in predatory behaviour by male partners, typically in power imbalance situations (partner/trainee). I can share some examples if they are of interest. However, the regulators seem most concerned with making examples of stressed/foolish newbie lawyers who are inadequately supervised.

For completeness, it’s also not unknown fir this type of allegation to be made by a bad leaver as a way of getting a better payoff, especially if their employment prospects elsewhere are less than stellar. But it sounds consistent with your DH being a narc so I’m guessing that’s unlikely here.

As the above PP says do try not to worry.

Thank you.

I know it's not an allegation as he told me himself his aim was to make working life as uncomfortable as possible for this member of staff and that there were a number of others doing the same.

They'll all close ranks, I would imagine.

@RobertSmithsLipstick

They'll all close ranks, I would imagine.

I don't doubt this but I am also pretty sure he was so confident about what he was doing at the time and there is email evidence which I would imagine would come up in a SAR. I am overthinking this a lot.

He sounds like a complete arsehole. However complete arseholes are always getting away with it. Don’t assume that you’ll be left penniless, even if he does deserve to be sacked.