I've name changed for this but am going to try to use numbers that are as close to the true ones as I can so that you get an idea.
This is a thread about my perception of other people, who, if I'm being rational, have their own stuff going on and are quite possibly just having a secretly bad time. Who knows.
Anyway, I am late thirties. Two small children who I had later than most over concerns over money /housing.
I have a small number of friends who demographically are similar to me but are scattered around the country.
Everyone is married and working - except me, with young children I'm not working.
DH and I live in a small city centre 2 bed apartment with no garden. Have done for years and years having bought the place just after the 2008 crash that put me out of a job at the time. (So sort of karma - lost my job but cheaper housing)
In the intervening years all of my friends have bought 4 bed homes. One bought a 3 bed but is in the process of building works to increase its size.
Over the years DH and I have saved and all his grandparents have died in that time too, so he received a bit of money from there. So we now have in the bank 190k. We don't live in London and aren't looking to.
Our flat has been valued at around 300k and the mortgage is 70k.
That gives us a budget of 420k.
I thought wow that's loads but the market has changed and that will buy us a modest 3 bed home.
Anyway. Friends all bought years ago at prices such as
220
300
350
But because they bought a few years ago, their homes are now worth more than we could even afford.
In looking to buy, one friend asked my my budget, which I balked at. I gave a ball park figure and she told me I was over stretching and I should be looking at stuff for 250. She pulled up some homes I wasn't happy with. Stuff not as nice as her house.
She's become quite absent, and it feels as though she's checked out of the friendship.
But other friends too, asking about houses were looking at, and "have you got a photo".. inevitability people find out the price and seem to judge. Things like "oh right I see". Very small comments.
I expect I'm being paranoid right?
But people whose houses on paper are worth more than I can afford find the situation weird. And I just want to say - well butt out then.
I don't know, I don't need any practical advice here I don't think but it would be great to hear your experiences.
There may well be something that I've overlooked who knows - ask any questions if you think it's relevant.
I suppose the point is, our home has appreciated by a % but the home we want to buy has done the same. Its the savings and inheritance that puts us on the next rung.
Why do I feel guilty?