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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To kick DD and her friends off the WiFi?

34 replies

desperate4spring · 27/11/2021 20:03

DD has 4 friends over for a sleepover. We had things planned...film, make-overs etc.

2 of the friends have however brought ipads with them. We gave them the WiFi passwords so they could have a play but an hour later they are still on them, playing one together (my DD is on hers too) while the 2 kids who don't have them just watch.

We've turned the WiFi off. Who sends their child to a birthday party with an iPad to play while they're there? Is this a normal thing?

OP posts:
Cloudfrost · 27/11/2021 20:09

how old are they?
under 10 not unreasonable
over 10? you would be unreasonable

Original poster
desperate4spring · 27/11/2021 20:12

They're in Y6 so a mix of 10/11yo.

OP posts:
TuftyMarmoset · 27/11/2021 20:12

We used to take our Nintendo DSs to sleepovers when I was a kid. But it was so that we could play against each other, we wouldn't have done it if everyone couldn't be involved. I think YANBU as they are excluding two of the friends.

AbandonedCharacter · 27/11/2021 20:13

YANBU. How awful for the two guests without iPads!

Grumpsy · 27/11/2021 20:14

YANBU - some time without screens won’t kill them

Tiredmum12389 · 27/11/2021 20:14

I have had this same issue. My 8 and 11 year old both use ipads at sleepovers. If you send them to one without one then they end up being the child who has nothing to do. When we've had sleepovers if a child who has attended doesn't have an ipad or similar then noone uses them.

DeepaBeesKit · 27/11/2021 20:15

Not ok if they are excluding the two kids with no iPads.

Babyvenusplant · 27/11/2021 20:16

You should just let your dd and her friends decide what they want to do, they're old enough to decide for themselves.

ExplodingCarrots · 27/11/2021 20:17

DD 8 had a sleepover for her birthday and 4/7 of the girls brought their tablets with them and it completely caught me off guard. I told them to leave them in their bags. It had me questioning if I was being a mean mum host.

Motnight · 27/11/2021 20:22

@desperate4spring

DD has 4 friends over for a sleepover. We had things planned...film, make-overs etc.

2 of the friends have however brought ipads with them. We gave them the WiFi passwords so they could have a play but an hour later they are still on them, playing one together (my DD is on hers too) while the 2 kids who don't have them just watch.

We've turned the WiFi off. Who sends their child to a birthday party with an iPad to play while they're there? Is this a normal thing?

Who sends their child to a birthday party with an ipad?

Probably the parents who realise that their host will be playing on one.

Insertfunnyname · 27/11/2021 20:23

YANBU who sends an iPad to a sleepover? If they can’t think of anything else to do then they may as well stay at their own homes.

BoredZelda · 27/11/2021 20:38

Surly, as an adult, you just say “ok girls, time for a movie, put the iPads down”

A8mint · 27/11/2021 20:43

Why are you blaming the kids with the Ipads. Your DD is the problem here. She . is the host and excluding 2 or her guests. You need to give her a rocket!

AbandonedCharacter · 27/11/2021 20:43

She doesn't need to be surly about it...

GeorgiaGirl52 · 27/11/2021 20:52

@AbandonedCharacter

She doesn't need to be surly about it...
Surly is the new Karen.
girlmom21 · 27/11/2021 20:54

You didn't need to turn the wifi off. You should've just done the planned activities.

waterrat · 27/11/2021 21:00

I have kids this age and just would have taken them away. Totally unacceptable and so boring and unfair for the kids who don't have them. My son is obsessed with thr ipad and I've caught him trying to sneak it out on a sleepover before (he is 9) and I took it off him. He even cried and begged to take it and I told him no.

I think the problem is that children just love the tech and see it as a huge part of their lives and want to share it with friends. But you were running this party and could just take back control.

WellLarDeDar · 27/11/2021 21:38

It's not very sociable to bring an iPad to a sleepover. When I was a kid we used to do face masks, braid either others hair, play with make up, eat Chinese food, do silly girl magazine quizzes and stay up all night watching scary movies and eating sweets. And obviously had to watch bring it on or she's all that or one of those old chic flicks. I remember one time we watched the grudge and all screamed so loudly, I feel so bad for the parents! We had an attic conversion in our house so my parents used to hide up there to get away from us!! How things have changed!!

SnarkyBag · 27/11/2021 21:44

You can’t complain when parents let their kids bring an iPad and at the same time let your dd play on hers knowing two guests are being excluded. Poor manners all round from your dd and her friend

AliceMck · 27/11/2021 22:20

It probably wouldn’t be the first thing to cross my mind to send my dd with a tablet but if she ask (which she would) then I’d be ok with it as it’s what kids do. In ops position I’d probably try and see if I could make sure the 2 girls without iPads had something to play on, maybe tell my own DDs to use mine and DHs tablets or phones and let their friends log in on their iPads rather than let 2 of them sit there without a device.

Films and makeovers sounds lovely but if they are having fun playing games then I’d leave them to it, it’s their night after all.

Stompythedinosaur · 27/11/2021 22:24

Surely you make your dc take turns with the dc who don't have them? Horrible to leave them out.

I'd also be suggesting it was time for a film or an activity they can do together.

claymodels · 27/11/2021 22:25

@BoredZelda

Surly, as an adult, you just say “ok girls, time for a movie, put the iPads down”

What's the logic by replacing a screen with a screen?

Cascais · 27/11/2021 22:27

What's the logic by replacing a screen with a screen?

So they can have a shared experience.

SallyLovesCheese · 27/11/2021 22:29

@claymodels Because they don't all have an ipad? At least with a movie they can all watch at the same time, rather than two girls just sat watching the other three do whatever they're doing. It's not about screens, it's about excluding people at a party.

Chimley · 27/11/2021 22:32

Do all 8 year olds have their own iPad? Mine doesn't! And why would you bring one to a sleepover. Surely it's about chatting with your friends?