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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you do?

53 replies

Icecreamlover63 · 27/11/2021 19:25

Our close friend works at our Doctors surgery.

My husband is a patient there I am with a different surgery and always have been.

Within the last year we have been told various bits of information about other patients which we believe are confidential. This has concerned my husband as he is now wondering if his private details are being given out. However inadvertently!

He is worried that if he moves and tells the Doctors that he wants to move due to breaches in confidentiality that our friend, knowing his fine something wrong, will put two and two together and be upset.
I know what I would do and I’ve told him but I’m now asking all of you, as it’s a very difficult situation and he is a little torn.

OP posts:
Snowpatrolling · 27/11/2021 22:35

This person told you your son had an appointment? How does your son feel about that? Cos if I was him I’d go ballistic and would be reporting that person even knowing they’d get sacked. I work in health care and if I spoke about patients to anybody else I’d be sacked on the spot and rightly so.

There was a thread on here a while back about someone telling a friend a mutual friend was pregnant, but they hadn’t announced it yet.
Pregnant person quite rightly reported this person and they lost their job.

Original poster
Icecreamlover63 · 27/11/2021 22:43

Yes they told us he had an appointment. Actually said, ‘it was lovely to see xxx in the surgery today’. I haven’t told my son. I don’t think he would be happy.

OP posts:
Hollywolly1 · 27/11/2021 23:11

Why would you not te your son,i would protect him first.

Original poster
Icecreamlover63 · 27/11/2021 23:49

TBH both me and my husband were a bit shocked. Nothing like this has ever happened to any of us before and looking back I don’t think we really knew how to deal with it. Honestly it was only when it became more prevalent that we started to think about it.
My DH just feels so suspicious about going into the Doctors- he has just lost his Dad is very down and is so worried that if he goes in then other people might know about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Icecreamlover63 · 28/11/2021 07:11

Thank you all for taking the time and replying to my message it really means a lot and I’m grateful 😇

OP posts:
buckeejit · 28/11/2021 09:47

I'd just move & say nothing-if the worst they've said is 'it was nice to see x' then I don't think that's anything to get your knickers in a twist about.

Have they told you peoples personal medical info?

JustLyra · 28/11/2021 10:01

@Icecreamlover63

TBH both me and my husband were a bit shocked. Nothing like this has ever happened to any of us before and looking back I don’t think we really knew how to deal with it. Honestly it was only when it became more prevalent that we started to think about it. My DH just feels so suspicious about going into the Doctors- he has just lost his Dad is very down and is so worried that if he goes in then other people might know about it.
You really need to tell your son.

Your husband is moving because he knows his private business isn’t private. Your son deserves to be able to make the same decision if he wants.

JustLyra · 28/11/2021 10:02

@buckeejit

I'd just move & say nothing-if the worst they've said is 'it was nice to see x' then I don't think that's anything to get your knickers in a twist about.

Have they told you peoples personal medical info?

Telling them that their son was at the Dr is peoples personal medical info and shouldn’t be minimised.
Original poster
Icecreamlover63 · 28/11/2021 11:00

Yes I actually know a patient had passed away and that another patient was currently at the doctors and was having trouble with an aliment

OP posts:
Original poster
Icecreamlover63 · 28/11/2021 11:03

Meeting Son for Sunday Lunch and I’ll talk to him then. If things had just literally been a slip of the tongue I wouldn’t have minded. But being told personal info really isn’t very nice. It’s made me very sad and I feel that my poor DH hasn’t really got a choice to move. He is feeling depressed as it is and this hadn’t helped as he now feels very conscious when he phoned up

OP posts:
Brownpigeon · 28/11/2021 11:08

I'm a GP receptionist and there is NO WAY that is acceptable. We all know we are not allowed to share things. I know people that come in, but I'd never mention to mutual friends (although they will mention it themselves to others that they saw me!)

Absolutely not acceptable to look at notes unless you have a reason and not allowed to share any info.

OmgIThinkILikeYou · 28/11/2021 11:35

Yeah I would be leaving ASAP. My Dr's actually posted my full medical records to a random person before. I didn't stay with them for long after that. At least they called and told me.

Original poster
Icecreamlover63 · 29/11/2021 08:26

UPDATE. DH reporting anonymously today. We are also moving Doctors in the New Year as it’s really not worth the headspace. Let’s edit and see what if anything happens x

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 29/11/2021 08:30

At my surgery, one of the GP’s sent an email to a friend about a patient.
He was ‘let go’ immediately. He managed to keep his profession, despite an investigation , but has never worked as a doctor again.

Helpstopthepain · 29/11/2021 08:36

Well done your Dh for reporting it!
She knows she shouldn’t be doing it and I doubt you are the only people that she’s telling.
Not saying anything means she gets to continue and doesn’t learn anything.

billy1966 · 29/11/2021 09:02

How brave and decent of your husband to do this.

To see beyond his own situation.

Well done.

He can always tell the practice if asked, that he heard rumours of people's private business being discussed and is so appalled that he is moving.Flowers

Original poster
Icecreamlover63 · 02/12/2021 20:01

My DH doesn’t feel very brave right now. My Son has just received a text from our friend at the Doctors and she said due to an adverse situation she won’t be going to his Sons christening. My Son has just moved to the South coast due to work and he and his girlfriend are very homesick and now he has received this text he is upset. Do from doing the right thing my DH feels awful.
The thing I don’t understand is -I heard his call with the Doctors and DH gave no details of the member of staff or indeed the names of any payee have been told about.

I’m not really sure what yo make of all of this now. But my depressed grieving DH is completely upset and I feel stuck in the middle of a storm!

OP posts:
JustLyra · 02/12/2021 20:45

@Icecreamlover63

My DH doesn’t feel very brave right now. My Son has just received a text from our friend at the Doctors and she said due to an adverse situation she won’t be going to his Sons christening. My Son has just moved to the South coast due to work and he and his girlfriend are very homesick and now he has received this text he is upset. Do from doing the right thing my DH feels awful. The thing I don’t understand is -I heard his call with the Doctors and DH gave no details of the member of staff or indeed the names of any payee have been told about. I’m not really sure what yo make of all of this now. But my depressed grieving DH is completely upset and I feel stuck in the middle of a storm!
It may be a coincidence?
Original poster
Icecreamlover63 · 02/12/2021 21:21

That’s what I’m hoping too x

OP posts:
DuchessMinnie · 04/12/2021 00:06

I work in healthcare and, although I am not clinical staff, I have had information governance training, as has everyone. We simply are not allowed to discuss ANYTHING we see or overhear unless the discussion is for a specific purpose and inside work. Your friend is being very silly. Even though your DH has complained anonymously, I would bet your friend is known for being a bit loose lipped so has been spoken to.

Original poster
Icecreamlover63 · 05/12/2021 10:20

My DH feels awful he feels he has inadvertently upset our Son who wanted these friends st his Sons Christening next week. I’ve not told my Son anything and don’t intend to because, we have been given no actual reason, so we could be speculating on something we don’t know for definite!
The only thing is we just didn’t want to be told anything about anyone’s personal medical situation and that’s it. But unfortunately it really does feel that by doing the right thing can sometimes be the most difficult thing. On the upside our new practice is great. Lots of doctors and very very helpful reception staff. So a good piece of news. We also have a beautiful Grandson who is just so lovely and we feel very very blessed x

OP posts:
ChargingBuck · 05/12/2021 10:51

@Icecreamlover63

My husband was actually sent a message about another patient that he knew. I’ve been told my Son has gone into the surgery and I didn’t even know he had. He doesn’t even live with us! I agree he should move. If they get upset tough. I don’t even think they need to know. It’s really horrible being put in a position like this.
WTF?

I agree he should move. If they get upset tough.
Who are "they", & why do you think "they" would be upset that a patient transferred? Do you think anyone in a busy GP practice would give a shiny shit?

I don’t even think they need to know.
Of course they need to know. Your so-called friend is breaching confidentiality & you need to take some responsibility & alert the practice manager. Unless s/he IS the practice manager, in which case you need to report to the senior GP.

It’s really horrible being put in a position like this.
I'd have some sympathy for your position if you hadn't colluded with your friend by not shutting this shit down the moment it happened.
Within the last year we have been told various bits of information about other patients
So s/he keeps giving you what s/he thinks are juicy bit of gossip - & you have just played along with it. S/he thinks you are interested. Why wouldn't s/he? - you haven't put paid to the gossip. All you are thinking about is your own discomfort, & avoiding any embarrassment or confrontation.

Do the decent thing, & report.
This is other people's lives, & as PP said upthread, could have serious consequences for some patients.
And btw - this person is not your 'friend'. S/he'll be gossiping about your DH's stuff, & she'd gossip about you if your notes were at the same surgery.

ChargingBuck · 05/12/2021 10:56

@Icecreamlover63

Really…we don’t need to tell them. Would that mean we are listed at two doctors? Now we have made our decision… if there are any medical people that could advise we would be very very grateful as to how we move practices.
Oh come off it. You're having a laugh with us aren't you?

Two supposedly grown adults don't know how to move practices?

ChargingBuck · 05/12/2021 11:02

@buckeejit

I'd just move & say nothing-if the worst they've said is 'it was nice to see x' then I don't think that's anything to get your knickers in a twist about.

Have they told you peoples personal medical info?

Bloody hell another one who doesn't understand how professional confidentiality works.

You don't get to judge the "degree" of privacy violation & blithely reckon some things are not bad enough to warrant action. ANY degree of violation is a sacking offence - & for very good reason.

Imagine you were trapped in an abusive marriage. You finally pluck up courage to go to the GP to get your bruises photographed & to request support & signposting as you work out how to escape the marriage.
OP's friend clocks you, & tells your husband & your MiL that you were there.
Still reckon that's nothing to get your knickers in a twist about do you @buckeejit?

MrsDThomas · 05/12/2021 11:03

GDPR training? No need for that. Common sense is whats needed and she needs to be told to shut her mouth.

And I would most certainly report her.

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