To think where is the empathy?

[eggandchips33]

This week alone I have seen:

Horrible, horrible comments about the people who drowned in the English Channel this week. Not just political stuff but people actually laughing and joking about it.

A story in a local paper about a woman who sadly died from covid. People instantly in the comments talking about how it's scaremongering and propaganda. As if the family need to see that on a story about their loved one.

Endless threads on here where people are just sticking the boot in and insulting others when they are down. Nothing remotely helpful or constructive about their comments, just sheer nastiness. That's nothing new though.

I feel really depressed with the lack of empathy and in most cases, utter maliciousness of some people. Yes I probably need to step away from social media but is this really the world I am raising my kids in? When did people become so cold? How are we supposed to ignore it? I've given up trying to challenge it as people are so pigheaded it's pointless.

I know, it can feel shit sometimes - but loads more people do care about this stuff, they tend to be less vocal and notable. There was a report the other day which mentioned barbers (I think) who go out from England to style asylum seekers in Sangatte or somewhere and bring a generator so they can charge their phones. I’d never heard of that before and suddenly thought what a kind thing it is to do.

Honestly, so, so, so many more people are decent and caring

I think sometimes people assume this coldness when they are trying to distance themselves from it, as a coping mechanism for all the utter sadness there is sometimes, it’s not ok - but I think it can be a coping mechanism.

How incredibly lucky we are that we were born in a Safe country .. ! Some people are just thick , how scared must those families have been !!
.. also as an aside where is the empathy for all the creatures that get hurt or scared on I'm a celebrity.. vile bloody programme , if it were puppies or kittens people would be up in arms but because they are rodents and insects no one gives a shiny shite !

I find real life to be a much more positive place than the internet. Try to take a break from the online world - it can be most restorative.

The nasty ones have the loudest voices, especially the covid conspiracy idiots. People in real life are more sensible. It's easy to spout off from a keyboard. They take the piss out of the reasonable people, so they just keep quiet in my experience.

@eggandchips33

This week alone I have seen:

Horrible, horrible comments about the people who drowned in the English Channel this week. Not just political stuff but people actually laughing and joking about it.

A story in a local paper about a woman who sadly died from covid. People instantly in the comments talking about how it's scaremongering and propaganda. As if the family need to see that on a story about their loved one.

Endless threads on here where people are just sticking the boot in and insulting others when they are down. Nothing remotely helpful or constructive about their comments, just sheer nastiness. That's nothing new though.

I feel really depressed with the lack of empathy and in most cases, utter maliciousness of some people. Yes I probably need to step away from social media but is this really the world I am raising my kids in? When did people become so cold? How are we supposed to ignore it? I've given up trying to challenge it as people are so pigheaded it's pointless.

I agree OP.

People are nasty when anonymous online but you can bet they wouldn’t say this if we were having conversations in person, face to face.

The other day someone suggested I was virtue signalling for pointing out that people were drowning.

Honestly.

How do you know they’re real people with opinion? Could be boys. Or people who like being ‘contrarian’ online.

People in real life have more nuanced opinions and very few are truly cold hearted or otherwise.

*sorry I meant BOTS not BOYS

Suppose people do get braver online. We can live in hope that they maybe aren't quite so vile in real life. Even so, some of it is just awful to read.

Yes, the complete opposite of kindness especially from behind a screen.

Agree that a keyboard is a factor. There is certainly more empathy in real life. And a lot of support for people. But empathy like everything is selective. Some people are just supposed to "suck it up" if their situations or very real complaints don't fit with the popular group think.

Empathy is about understanding - not just supporting a cause.

The thing is, people keep saying it’s because they’re anonymous online and not like that in real life. That may be so, but really it doesn’t mean that they don’t have those opinions in RL and aren’t just hiding them so they can be seen as better than they really are.

Keyboard or not, it’s still a person with abhorrent options.

I totally agree OP. Over the last 10 years or so I’ve noticed it’s got worse. A lot more people are awfully intolerant, selfish and idiotic.

Opinions* not options!

@KikoLemons

Agree that a keyboard is a factor. There is certainly more empathy in real life. And a lot of support for people. But empathy like everything is selective. Some people are just supposed to "suck it up" if their situations or very real complaints don't fit with the popular group think.

Empathy is about understanding - not just supporting a cause.

The OP is about people doing nasty things. Such as laughing at drowned people and being rude. This is distasteful. Whether empathy is ‘supporting a cause’ is another matter entirely. Any discussion on immigration policy for example is immediately shut down by a) People being racist b) People saying we’re all part of the human race It’s possible to acknowledge that while we are lucky in being born into the conditions we were - we also cannot solve all the world’s problems and there are several factors to consider. But nope people just want to be emotional on the internet

If you are feeling like this step away from SM for a bit. All this does happen but it’s not a balanced picture overall - there is plenty of empathy about.

It’s not normal to think people drowning is funny and most people do not. Most people don’t think COVID isn’t real. Most people on mumsnet are not aggressive to people who are vulnerable, not to say there aren’t spats, but there is lots of support and good advice, and a lot of the bluntness is kindness.

When you point a finger remember 3 point back at you. Maybe they don't have the kindness you have in your heart or they had bad childhoods? The way to fight is with love not fire. I know what you mean though, it's difficult. If you can't handle it, best thing to do is to step away.

I'm saddened by the threads on here that are started by a woman clearly in need, but posted see one thing in her OP and pick up on that over and over again to bash her with.

I remember years ago (I've been on MN since handbag.com went commercial 😂) I was lamenting how grown men and women at a bus stop watched a young primary school aged child get roasted by a man (not his dad) on the walk to school outside my house. I ran from a bedroom in my house to tell him to leave him alone. He had him lifted by the lapels screaming in his face - when recounting the scene I said "he had a very thick Scottish accent" and mentioned it only because I was telling the story and that the boy had a very West Country accent (I could hear him pleading with the man) so making the point it wasn't his daddy.

I was raked over the coals again and again and again for mentioning his accent - nothing said about the child and his household or what I could possibly do to help etc. Just trying to find some xenophobic point in what o was saying.

The funny thing was I could point out exactly where this man was from in Scotland, exactly where he was from by his dialect - because I am from the same place and speak exactly like him.

Whaddyagonnado? 🤷‍♀️

@EmmetEmma

I think sometimes people assume this coldness when they are trying to distance themselves from it, as a coping mechanism for all the utter sadness there is sometimes, it’s not ok - but I think it can be a coping mechanism

Oh please 🙄 Laughing about refugees/migrants drowning is not a coping mechanism, it’s racist and evil.

Stop excusing racists.

Indeed. I checked the Daily Hate comments section under the story of those poor. desperate people drowning and I was ashamed of being British by the end of it.

People were literally rejoicing. I think the right wing media and government have a lot to answer for. It is one thing to disagree with immigration, it is another entirely to be gleeful about someone dying. Pure evil.

It isn't only keyboard warriors.
I have heard some horrible harsh statements from certain people whose generally judgemental about people and their circumstances in RL.

My niece's BF has been called the N word and told "go back to Africa on more than a few occasions".

There is a huge lack of empathy in society, Dsis try to tell me the local homeless guy has a warm house, he doesn't he street sleeps, I've seen him sleeping in doorways she is a very critical person who believes everyone makes their choices in life, she married a rich men who paid for her education and property investments she forgets where she is from, she won't give foreign aid because the CEO earns thousands.

The particular rag newspaper commentary section is disgusting. DM.

I was told about the reality of himan kind a good while ago.
There was a war scare in my country, and some people wanted it to happen! They came out of the woodworks. People that you would think were normal caring and loving citizens, but no, no empathy, horrible and scary in the inside. My grandma told me about it when I was a child, I never forgot it, and I have seen it myself in recent years, with all this political chaos around us. Yes, most people are what you see, but a proportion of us are not. It is very scary and sad. I better know though, who this horrible people are!

@EmeraldShamrock

It isn't only keyboard warriors. I have heard some horrible harsh statements from certain people whose generally judgemental about people and their circumstances in RL.

My niece's BF has been called the N word and told "go back to Africa on more than a few occasions".

There is a huge lack of empathy in society, Dsis try to tell me the local homeless guy has a warm house, he doesn't he street sleeps, I've seen him sleeping in doorways she is a very critical person who believes everyone makes their choices in life, she married a rich men who paid for her education and property investments she forgets where she is from, she won't give foreign aid because the CEO earns thousands.

You sound jealous of your sister wowb

@TractorAndHeadphones not at all, I love my Dsis but she is a very cold person who lacks empathy it causes her unhappiness, she sees negativity in everything.
My other siblings call her the ice queen, we love her but she is a ruthless character.