Am I over reacting

Chix2 · 2021-11-27T15:17:10+00:00

My son has been at pre school for a year now and recently they got a new staff member, one of my husbands ex’s. This makes me feel uncomfortable and I don’t want to see her everyday or have her round my child. Me and husband have been together for 16 years so it’s a long time ago but still makes me feel uncomfortable and I want to change pre school, but it’s not fair on him because he is happy. Does anyone else think it’s a wired situation or am I over reacting?

mybroomstick · 27/11/2021 15:19

Yes you're overreacting.

RedCarsGoFaster · 27/11/2021 15:19

What makes you so insecure about this? It seems an odd thing to be so upset about that you'd move your child and cause a lot of upheaval. Is there something else going on?

girlmom21 · 27/11/2021 15:21

Do you think she'd treat your child differently or that your DH is still in love with her?

If not, you're overreacting.

thepeopleversuswork · 27/11/2021 15:23

Unless you have reason to believe she still has something going on with your husband then yes you are massively over-reacting. 16 years FFS.

Cocomarine · 27/11/2021 15:25

It’s not weird, yes you’re over reacting, and selfish too given that your son is settled.

I actually totally misread that as it being a girlfriend of your ex husband. That’s how much you’re over reacting, that my brain had to auto correct it to try to make it weird!

5keletor · 27/11/2021 15:26

After 16 years, unless she was violent or harassed him, for example, you are overreacting. Will she even know your child is his? Or even recognise you?

OGenkiDesuKa · 27/11/2021 15:27

16 years!!

Notimeforaname · 27/11/2021 15:28

Total over reaction. Don't move your child because your husband had a life and knew other humans before you.

What would you do if another one started working in the new school? You can't keep moving your life around to avoid other people you don't even really know.

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 27/11/2021 15:29

Yep. Is there a massive backstory or something?

Original poster

Chix2 · 27/11/2021 15:32

This person has caused problems before, my mum works in childcare and they worked at a group together she told my mum she used to sleep with my husband before we met, which I find really weird to say that to my mum. I try my best to ignore her when I pick him up but always feels like she is watching me and she always seems to have hold of him it’s never the 4 other workers ?

OP posts:

MrsTimRiggins · 27/11/2021 15:34

It would seem you’re massively overreacting and it would be such a shame to disrupt your son by removing him from a childcare setting he is doing well in for the sake of your own insecurities.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 27/11/2021 15:35

@Chix2

This person has caused problems before, my mum works in childcare and they worked at a group together she told my mum she used to sleep with my husband before we met, which I find really weird to say that to my mum. I try my best to ignore her when I pick him up but always feels like she is watching me and she always seems to have hold of him it’s never the 4 other workers ?

Probably should have out this in your op 🙄

Oftenithinkaboutit · 27/11/2021 15:36

But even so

Yes you ate overreacting

So the question is. How is your marriage? Because 16 years together… most wouldn’t give a hoot if happy marriage

funinthesun19 · 27/11/2021 15:36

How are things with her in general? Do you get on?

I would keep him there and keep my head held high. Big smiles. Show off how happy your child is and how you are. If she’s normally off with you then I would kill her with kindness because she knows she has to act professional towards you and your child.

girlmom21 · 27/11/2021 15:37

@Chix2

This person has caused problems before, my mum works in childcare and they worked at a group together she told my mum she used to sleep with my husband before we met, which I find really weird to say that to my mum. I try my best to ignore her when I pick him up but always feels like she is watching me and she always seems to have hold of him it’s never the 4 other workers ?

So she told your mom she knows your husband and takes good care of your son?

That's not causing problems.

tallduckandhandsome · 27/11/2021 15:38

Not sure what you can do except move your child to a different school?

sowhatsnext · 27/11/2021 15:38

Jesus. What’s the back story - I’m assuming there must be one or else this is just way too OTT.
What would you do if she (or another of your Hs ex girlfriends) came to work with you? Quit your job?

I’m after 16 years of marriage - so I’m guessing maybe 20 since they were together she’s moved on and doesn’t give a stuff she’s now working with a kid of someone she used to date

Cocomarine · 27/11/2021 15:45

@Chix2

This person has caused problems before, my mum works in childcare and they worked at a group together she told my mum she used to sleep with my husband before we met, which I find really weird to say that to my mum. I try my best to ignore her when I pick him up but always feels like she is watching me and she always seems to have hold of him it’s never the 4 other workers ?

Is she his key worker? Or maybe he just likes her best. Maybe explain what’s really happening.

I don’t think it’s remotely weird to tell you’re mum that she is an ex of her son. In some ways it might be seen as more weird to seemingly hide that.

What actually happened?

“Catriona Von Trapp? That’s an unusual name - you don’t have a son called Oleg do you? You do?! Oh what a coincidence - we acting dated for a while - small world!”

is very different to whispering in her ear, “I used to sleep with your son…”

Kite22 · 27/11/2021 15:48

Of courser you are over reacting

16 years !!!

Offmyfence · 27/11/2021 15:57

YABU!

WayneKorr · 27/11/2021 16:05

Why exactly do you feel uncomfortable ?
16 years is a long time

iklboo · 27/11/2021 16:06

I hereby promote you to Captain Overreacting

RockallMalinHebrides · 27/11/2021 16:14

I wouldn’t be comfortable with this.

Toottooot · 27/11/2021 16:16

OMG get her sacked immediately or maybe just grow the fuck up.

HaroldSteptoesHorse · 27/11/2021 16:19

16 years is a long time, why do feel this way about this woman?
Is there anyone from your past you still hold a torch for? It’s of people have fantasies about other people but not all of them act on it. The way I see things is if a partner is going to cheat then they will and that’s the end of the relationship. They know it I know it. I wouldn’t waste time thinking partner might cheat.. that would drive me crazy