@bloodywhitecat, I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time getting through to the ward. I know how difficult it is for loved ones, particularly during these times.
I can't speak for other wards, but on my ward (I'm a ward sister), 1 hour of visiting per day is allowed (due to covid). However(!) exceptions can be made if a relative helps with the care of the patient (i.e. feeding, assisting with communication or if they're confused/have dementia, to help orientate/settle them*). It's not a one size fits all. Anyone coming in is informed of the risk of covid and the policies put in place in my Trust.
*disclaimer: of course we feed, care for and try to settle/orientate patients....but we are not the familiar face or voice that a relative or NOK is! And it's always good to work with families whenever we can.
If a patient is said to be "end of life" (i.e. imminently dying) by the doctors, then visiting is also relaxed.
I saw a PP mention hospice transfer...in my area, a transfer to a hospice bed will depend on the Consultant at the Hospice accepting the patient. Usually the criteria would be that a patient is very close to dying (i.e within days). Sometimes a patient will go in for symptom control, and then back home.
Re: telephone calls. During the week, we have a ward clerk between 8am and 5pm. During other times, it is just the ward staff. Most of the time, when the phone rings, we are involved in patient care (my ward is a 30 bed acute ward, with many Level 2/HDU patients - so these patients are very unwell)...so for me, the priority will always have to be attending to patients before answering telephone calls. However, I do tell doctors/the MDT (multidisciplinary team - so, physio/OT/SALT/specialist teams) to telephone NOK, otherwise I find out who hasn't been updated, get verbal consent (when I can) from the patient and then make sure the NOK is updated (and then make sure that this conversation has been documented), staffing levels permitting this. During visiting hours, assuming my staffing levels aren't too hideous (and over the past few months, my ward has been operating at about 60% - 80% of it's normal staffing levels) I will do my rounds and ensure patients and their NOK are aware of the situation and plans for their treatment.
The above is for my ward/Trust/area though, and naturally other settings will have different policies.
OP, I need to tell you that you're not being a bother, and you're not being a pest by asking what is happening and raising any concerns. I would want to know plans if it were my parents/loved ones, and anyone would. As a Sister (and yes, we are different from the Matrons), I want to know about any concerns raised by my patients or NOK, so that I can address them properly and promptly. I would want my patients and their NOK to feel comfortable about approaching me/my staff about anything. If I can help, I will. If I can't, I would escalate this and keep the patient/NOK in the loop. I would hope that this is the same for other wards too. Because in the end, I (and my colleagues) are looking after people who are very precious and much loved by others. I teach my junior staff that often all it takes is a five or ten minute conversation and that can really help things, rather than have a patient or relative sit there in ignorance and get more and more worried and upset.
So please, try and get hold of the Ward Manager (this will be a Sister or Charge Nurse - and they often work Mon-Fri rather than weekends), and the Matron for the ward. If you can't get hold of them, go for PALS. PALS a great team of people who will be able to get your concerns sent to the right person quickly. See what they say and see whether the visiting rules can be relaxed.
If you ever want to PM me for a vent, feel free. x