AIBU to think that teasing over names isn’t as much of a thing these days?

[Totez]

When I was a kid in school (90s), we had four Sarahs, three Louises, three Aidans, and generally children were named from a fairly short and standard list. For reference, this was a rural area, entirely white.

Bullying was rampant and everything was a target, including names. First names, surnames, nicknames- they were all ripe for adulteration.

Looking at the names in the local primary where I live now (diverse city), many of them are names that just don’t seem to have been around when I was a child (which is standard- names develop and evolve, as do communities).

For reference, I have a name that was very common in the generation above mine, a little less common among my peers, and practically unheard of for a baby now.

On the baby naming threads here, you often see posters saying “please don’t name your child that, they’ll be bullied”.

Is it still the case that children are bullied because of their names? I know that bullies bully for no reason and pick on anything they can, but, in your experience, have you found that a child with an unusual name is more likely to get harassed about it, or is having an uncommon name so common these days that it doesn’t draw comment like it would have done when I was young?

Yes it can still occur. And a lot of it is to do with location. Do you not think that those names placed in a location like your previously rural, white location would not be a target for bullying, and vice versa?

I’ve only ever seen a posters on here say kids will be bullied for their name.

In real life, I don’t expect it occurs as much given the diversity of the world.

Kids will bully for anything, much more likely to be bullied for the wrong clothes these days, than their name.

My eldest is called Carter (he’s 10) and I recall a poster on here saying everyone would call him “the unstoppable sex machine”. I mean really? What kids nowadays have even heard of a mostly defunct early 90s indie pop band to warrant teasing a 10 year old Carter with that connotation? It’s largely irrelevant.

I think a lot of the time the dire warnings are made just as a way of showing how clever they are to have thought of the joke, but distancing themselves from it.

I don’t think it is as much no, my son goes to school with children named lucky, universe and diamond and no one bats an eyelid at the names, I don’t think it’s the same as it was years ago.

I used to get a really hard time about my name, but I do think a lot of that was 1980s absolute need to conform. If your name was different, you were different, and ripe for bullying.

I think it still occurs but not as openly anymore.

Also depends on the location.

I imagine nowadays, it mainly happens if the person making fun of the name is annoyed - in which case, they'd find the easiest, most obvious thing about the person to make fun of (especially if they've not been able to do so before), rather than the regular bullying for bullying sake.

No, there's a Honey, Star, Khaleesi and Pixie in my childrens classes and nobody has ever batted an eye.
I'm sure they'd be teased back when I wasnin school. It's a good thing, it never made any sense to tease over a name anyway!

Children are more likely to tease for not having tic toc, Snapchat or playing XBOX. Bit depressing but found all that starts in year 1.

I agree. I’ve worked with kids named Elvis, Moon, Prince, Dynasty, Cuthbert

No one cares and a lot of the time friends give nicknames anyway

Also Eastern European girls names Barbara, Verka, Bogna, Branka etc and no one gives a shit even if it sounds a bit funny to English ears

Yeh, I think anything goes now but a name I saw on a thread recently, ''mungo'' it's no worse than a lot of other names but you'd have to be obtuse not to realise that that one is a bit too close to mongo. But sometimes people say ''oh children won't say that anymore ''. Oh. Ok.

From my experience, bullying just based on names isn't really a thing.

Anything can be made fun of, names included - and if not names, something else. And if. they're. going to tease, they'll find a way. I knew a girl called Sofia which seems totally safe and kids called her Sofa 🤷

@AnFiadhRua had a Mungo at my school! No one teased him!

Bullying based on names really depends on the school in my experience.

One school I worked in was pretty hot on most forms of bullying, but that one could be done in a more subtle way so it was harder to stop.

It happens. Just as kids are still bullied for being fat or thin, tall or short, ginger or blond, wearing glasses, being nerdy etc etc.

If you think about it a lot of things that children use against other children come from hearing the adults around them, and adults are just as sneery (if not more so) about children's names as they've ever been.

DS has attended three schools in two countries, two small village schools, and one an inner-city one, and in all three he's had classmates from a variety of ethnic backgrounds and nationalities -- I genuinely don't think he's got a concept of a 'weird name'. He's had classmates called Precious, Keitumetse, Ezekiel, Boban, Abtab, Thiago, and a fair few hippy nature names. And a Brian!

There's a boy at my kids school who has what is a boys name in his home country, but is a very girly name here. He doesn't get teased or bullied.

I was at a school prizegiving at which the person giving out the prizes read out the name, the boy went up, the person blanked him and said "Is (name) here?" and the headmaster had to say "This is (name)" The person then visibly did a double take.

Back in my day there would have been giggles and subsequent teasing, but at my kids school - nothing.

Thanks to the internet even in less diverse areas of the country children won't see different names as "odd" like adults.

In fact a teacher friend of mine changed her foreign last name on marriage to an stereotypical English one that is also a common male first name.

Her class of primary school children were baffled and asked "What kind of name it was?"

I work with teenagers who are challenging in various ways and eed support. I have noticed that they dont bat an eyelid when introduced to other teenagers with names that are classed as bein unique on MN or 'posh' for our area etc. For example if another child was called Charles when I was a kid they would have been ripped for being 'posh'. This doesnt seem to happen now.This really surprised me in a hood way!
The demographic of our area is very mixed and diverse so that's probably why names are the least of an issue here!!

I dont think it happens as often nowadays. Of course there will be some instances, but its not very common.

My DD is named Bernadette. Everyone said she'd be bullied for it but she's never had anything but compliments on it. She is almost 8 and all the children just accept her name as its just her name. Even her 13 year old brothers friends have never said anything negative about her name.

I think it still exists outside of primary but not as much as in the past.

My niece's friend from an African family has a beautiful name that suits her perfectly, she has had sniggering in secondary school and college.

Generally I think DC are more likely to take things as they see them through more tolerance and awareness mirrored by parents.

As a DC in my day people said as they please and were hurtful to others.
The bully had respect, No-one likes the bullying now.

@SoniaFouler

Yes it can still occur. And a lot of it is to do with location. Do you not think that those names placed in a location like your previously rural, white location would not be a target for bullying, and vice versa?

That’s a good point and one I should have come back to in my OP.

I’ve moved away from the area but still have family there and my sister’s children go to the same primary that we went to. I’ve heard them talking about friends named Jaxxon, Precious, Diesel etc. Much more diverse names than we had growing up, and they don’t bat an eyelid. Still lots of Ellas and Elsas and Charlies, of course.
In my day, if your name was spelled “Lynda” instead of “Linda”, that would be enough to get bullied. I think schools were so much worse at dealing with bullying back then too.

I think the internet has contributed a lot to it too. Much more exposure to people from other countries, and backgrounds.

I’ve heard them talking about friends named Jaxxon, Precious, Diesel etc. Much more diverse names than we had growing up, and they don’t bat an eyelid.

They don't because it's more normal to the, like Charles and Elizabeth would've been to older generations. If not in rl, then online.

I think the internet has contributed a lot to it too. Much more exposure to people from other countries, and backgrounds.

Yes. This too.

They don't because it's more normal to the

To them*

At primary one of my DCs classmates has William as a middle name. He's been told that his name is disgusting and inappropriate because it has "willy" in it. Not even in jest - full on spiteful remarks.
Now if anyone asks him what his middle name is he denies having one.

A lot of kids seem to have wacky/unusual names now so they don't really stand out whereas "back in the day" anyone with a unusual name was likely to be singled out.