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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder when the baby pictures stop?!

82 replies

violetskiss · 25/11/2021 21:14

I want to preface this by saying this is mostly lighthearted Wink…

My sister had her first baby in September. She’s the first baby in the family and is completely wonderful, we all obviously love her to bits. HOWEVER - since then the family WhatsApp group has been flooded constantly by baby pics!!! I honestly mean we get 5 or 6 every day, and because they’re on a group chat there’s such a pressure to respond to all of them - there’s only so many emojis I can send or times I can type that she’s the cutest baby in the world (which of course she is!!)

I don’t mind this really and understand it won’t be forever, but can anyone tell me when I can expect my dsis to calm down with the pictures and let the group chat regain some normality?! I miss the memes and chatting about what we’re off to do at the weekend!! I know my dbro is feeling the same, although obviously we would never say anything and will of course always respond with the appropriate coos!

OP posts:
Laiste · 27/11/2021 16:26

Born this September? So the baby is still only 9/10 weeks old?

I think they are entitled to still be star struck by their baby :)

WakeUpLockie · 27/11/2021 16:34

@Legomania

Saying that, SIL gives us actual photo books of her DS (I have one almost exactly the same age) . At least digital pics don't clutter up the house.
Hahah wow, that really takes the cake. Cringe!
fabricfanatic · 27/11/2021 16:44

Yes to the suggestion to not respond to every single photo. Just one or two a day or so. Using the same emojis/comments every time, if nothing new comes to mind.

They may not even be expecting much gushing over every photo, just sharing them for the fun of it. If they do expect absolute amazement over photo after photo, it's time for reality to creep in.

SquigglePigs · 27/11/2021 17:28

Our family WhatsApp group was set up when DD was born because everyone wanted pics. She's almost 3 now. When she was tiny I would send pics most days. And through lockdown when people said they missed her or was probably 5/7. Now it's two or three times a week. Plenty of non-child chat around it though.

Elisemum · 27/11/2021 17:50

I understand where you’re coming from. I have two kids and I send my mum (she’s is different country) around 5-10 pics every day :) if I don’t do that I get in serious trouble ;). To me my kids are the cutest in the world but I wouldn’t send pics to family chat unless asked. I agree with others - stop responding, it’s the best idea.

User5252727 · 27/11/2021 17:59

Mine is 1 and I haven't stopped yet 😬 I don't expect responses every time though!

MsChatterbox · 27/11/2021 18:01

I admit I did this with my first... Someone once replied with their own selfie and I got the hint 🤣

JudgeJ · 27/11/2021 18:44

They kind of do, but then another picture gets sent of the baby and we all have to pause to respond. It feels rude to ignore them!

Not rude at all, ignore them and they may take a hint about how boring their prodigy is. If she gets huffy about no replies point out that not all of us have the time to be constantly on social media, some have a job.

JudgeJ · 27/11/2021 18:49

@Laiste

Born this September? So the baby is still only 9/10 weeks old?

I think they are entitled to still be star struck by their baby :)

They can be star struck but there's no need to bore the rest of their family. Remember your baby is only important to you. Oh for the days when contact meant a school photo at CHristmas that you could shove in a drawer and forget!
aSofaNearYou · 27/11/2021 19:01

They can be star struck but there's no need to bore the rest of their family. Remember your baby is only important to you. Oh for the days when contact meant a school photo at CHristmas that you could shove in a drawer and forget!

I'm not precious about how others might feel about my children at all but I think in most remotely close families it's not unreasonable to feel the baby is somewhat important and of interest to them.

Elisemum · 27/11/2021 20:03

OP on the bright side.. at least you’re getting pictures of a cute baby:) I know people who send pictures of their dog and acting like it’s their baby :/

iloveayankeecandle · 27/11/2021 20:05

I never send pics of my kids but my family member still sends them constantly!

Youngatheart00 · 27/11/2021 20:06

I hate this….

Plus seeing the Instagram grids and Facebook feeds of friends suddenly turn in to nothing but protracted baby / toddler spam for years on end.

I think people just don’t realise their child is mainly just cute to them and them only

CreepySpider · 27/11/2021 20:08

I’d just stop responding to the pictures unless there is something specific about it. She might think that you all like seeing them because you are so gushing and responsive.

Marianne1234 · 27/11/2021 20:41

Aw I think this is a little unkind. I love seeing pics of my nephews and what they’ve been up to. They’re just excited new parents. All you need to do is a little heart emoji to acknowledge it

MindyStClaire · 27/11/2021 21:01

As the parent of the first grandchildren I'd say there's a few things going on.

  1. The grandparents are desperate for every photo they can get their hands on, especially if they don't live nearby. Then she has to choose whether to send them off group or not. She maybe just doesn't want to leave you out, or (if your family is anything like mine), has been explicitly told not to Hmm .
  1. She has a brand new baby, her first, less than three months old. She is frankly not herself right now, and won't be until she gets a bit of herself back (post maternity leave for me).
  1. She wants to keep the group chat going but she has literally nothing else to contribute right now. The baby somehow takes up 28 hours a day. She can barely process your memes but very much looks forward to being able to enjoy them again.
  1. Looking after a newborn is HARD. It's an endless cycle of feeding, changing, winding, settling. Hard to grab a shower or eat a meal. When the baby finally looks presentable and isn't screaming, the chance to capture those few minutes and share them helps balance out the rest of the crap.

Can you tell I didn't enjoy the newborn phase? Grin

girafferafferaffe · 27/11/2021 21:05

@Marianne1234

Aw I think this is a little unkind. I love seeing pics of my nephews and what they’ve been up to. They’re just excited new parents. All you need to do is a little heart emoji to acknowledge it
I'm the same. I might not have the time to reply at the time but I love keeping up with what my family are doing. We don't live near a few of them so don't see them a lot. I don't expect anyone to reply instantly to my photos either.
waterrat · 27/11/2021 21:08

She is in such early days. I was snapping away every few minutes with my PFB. Took almost none of the second Grin. WhatsApp didn't exist then thankfully. You really are starry eyed at that stage at every little facial expression

Tbh I totally cringe at the memory of giving my mother in law an actual huge frame of photos of pfb in lots of poses. Me and husband honestly thought it was a great present. He was only a few months old ! She never put it on her wall and it's now buried in the spare room!

lochmaree · 27/11/2021 21:09

DHs sisters do this but with their dogs, he muted the chat and barely uses it anymore because he doesnt want to talk about dogs constantly.

inkworks273 · 27/11/2021 21:11

I have a group chat with my mum and sister and send daily photos of my ds who is 2. They're both obsessed with him though and see him in person 3-4 times per week. There's plenty of other chat in it too.

I'm a little surprised at this thread as I can't imagine not being excited to see photos of my future niece or nephew. I think it would make me feel included and I'd be genuinely happy to see what they're up to day to day.

To each their own though.

inkworks273 · 27/11/2021 21:17

They can be star struck but there's no need to bore the rest of their family. Remember your baby is only important to you. Oh for the days when contact meant a school photo at CHristmas that you could shove in a drawer and forget!

I certainly don't think my ds is only important to me. He has an aunt and uncle and grandparents that dote on him and visit him and check in to see how he's doing and are genuinely happy to see photos of him.

Megan2018 · 27/11/2021 21:20

We have a dedicated one for DD, the grandparents want to see everything but I’m sure my brother and his GF have muted it which is absolutely fine.
I send loads as the grandparents have had little physical contact with Covid and MIL has only met her once. They would like all of every day photographed. But I would never use a normal group for it.

PositivelyFooked · 27/11/2021 21:23

Oh my god this is me.

I’m terrible for sending pictures are videos all day long (mostly only weekends though as I work during the week!😹)

My daughter is 2 at the end of December and I’m often conscious that I’m sending probably boring to them pictures and videos of DD. But my sister, mum and sister in law always at least react to them.

My brother made a comment once about how much I post in the group chat.. doesn’t stop me yet 😂 might try and move on to my partner and just bombard him with it all instead.

WellLarDeDar · 27/11/2021 21:24

My SILs baby is 2 now and some days we get 60 photos and a few videos.

inkworks273 · 27/11/2021 21:25

@WellLarDeDar

My SILs baby is 2 now and some days we get 60 photos and a few videos.
Ok that's a tad excessive!
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