To want to know what legal steps I need to take here?

[Welshmaenad]

Sorry, might be long. Posting for traffic and brutal honesty from AIBU vipers.

I am in the process of divorcing, separated nearly 6 years, 2DC, elder doing GCSEs this summer, younger yr7. I am in a relationship with DP, who was a partner from before I married STBH. We have been friends since, I remained very close to his parents, who have always been very supportive of me and my DC. We got back together earlier this year.

We have been discussing options for moving in together at some point. He lives in my home area, I live about 40 minutes away, I moved there to live with STBXH and bought my own house local to him when we split. My job, my remaining family (aDd, DBIL, nieces, aunts uncles cousins etc) and most of my friends are in my home area. I really want to go home. There's much more there for the DC and schools are better. I am also disabled with a chronic illness which is deteriorating and the extra support would be beneficial to all of us.

MIL and FIL have raised the idea that the DC and I move in with them (DP currently lives with them for various reasons). They have a large house that would happily fit us all, and we could split expenses. They have a small mortgage remaining on the house and a few bits of work that ideally need doing over the next few years.

I trust them, and my DP, implicitly. However DP has two older half sisters, one with some contact, one who had not bothered with PIL for years (FILS child but raised by MIL). I have some concerns about particularly the latter trying to challenge for an inheritance when PIL are gone.

I don't know what the hell kind of legal agreement would be needed regarding the house if I am going to be paying half the mortgage/expenses if we move in, and how best to broach this with MIL and FIL without causing offence re their daughters. If anyone has been in this situation with multigenerational living I'd appreciate input. It's all just an idea at present and any move would need to wait for an appropriate time in the children's schooling etc.

Am I asking for trouble or could this work?

@Jobegg

Agreeing with other users, this sounds absolute insanity, frankly even if DP was your DH of a decade this sounds like it has the potential to go belly up.

As above keep your house and rent it out, move in with them and pay a small rent- if they are smart with the money a couple of hundred extra quid a month would tide the mortgage/ improvements.

Other options crossed my mind like you future proofing by buying a ground floor flat etc in home place, but moving in with PIL and renting it out until the kids have grown up.

I do wonder- are your DP and PIL expecting such a formal arrangement with huge transfers of assets? Whose idea is all this?
Crazy to be thinking of inheritance of two people who are alive, kicking, and unrelated to you, you need protection of your assets right now.

We haven't discussed the financial implications yet. It's just an idea that has been raised and I'm trying to get my head straight about all the various possible scenarios. I knew AIBU would be good for bringing up issues I hadn't even thought of! I'm in no way wanting to gain financially from them - I'm just trying to establish how to protect myself in all the various permutations.

Frankly, their main motivator right now is wanting to be on hand to help me and the kids. I don't need "care" but in my current situation I don't have anyone local to call on for a little help - picking the kids up from after school stuff if I'm tired, driving me to hospital appointments I'm not allowed to drive home from. Making dinner for everyone if I've had my treatment that day, which totally wiped me out. Stuff like that, stuff that I push myself to do for the DC sake but which a bit of support would alleviate so much pressure on me. I think their outlook is that if we lived together, they could be there to do those things and my health would be all the better for it. They're good people, they love me. I don't think all the potential pitfalls have occurred to them.

Too many things can potentially ho wrong.
The parents can will their house to Dog’s Trust, MIL or FIL can get sick and the other may want to sell to pay nursing homes fees, either daughter can resume contact and move back in themselves, The list of things that can go wrong is endless!!!

There's no way I would do this, way too risky imo

Either keep your current house and rent it out or buy a smaller one in your new area.
You are essentially the guardian of your DCs inheritance at this point so unless you must liquidate the asset don't do it.
As long as the tent covers the costs on the house you can go into whatever logistical arrangements you like with your do and his family, putting in a share of expenses etc, without risking your equity at this stage.
As you say, it isn't about your DP and his parents so much as their extended family.

You are essentially the guardian of your DCs inheritance

Precisely! !!!

Please, whatever you do, get competent legal advice and make sure that all potential issues raised in this thread are addressed and nailed down.

Though my personal preference would be to keep my assets separate and not get them mixed up with the future PILs or your partner.

And make sure you always have an up to date will.
Very important this, particularly given that your own health seems to be less than 100%.

Are the half sisters mentioned in the will?

I understand that a challenge is less likely to succeed if they have been left something rather than nothing at all.

Rent out your current place, pay a small rent (not part of mortgage) at the PILs, save up whilst doing so and then buy something when you can afford it in the area? It is a little difficult to answer without knowing the details of how much each potential Rent etc will cost/income could be.
Key points... don't merge/sell/invest your own property, don't contribute to works in PILs place!

Why is the FIL leaving his own children nothing? Doesn't that worry you that he's not a nice person?