To ask what child maintenance is meant to cover?

MoiraNotRuby · 2021-11-24T23:38:06+00:00

STBXH and I need to agree child maintenance. I know there is a suggested calculator and that's great for getting a figure. But what I can't make my exhausted brain wrap around is, say DC are with me 5 nights a week and 2 with xh... I feed and clothe them when they are with me. Xh does the same on his nights. What about stuff like their: Dinner money Phone contracts Music lessons Sports club fees School trips Do I pay for 100% of that, or 5/7ths, or something else? Thanks in advance.

TurnUpTurnip · 24/11/2021 23:52

Why don’t you just use the calculator and see what it says he should pay? That’s all legally he has to pay so if you can come to an agreement for him to pay extra for other stuff then that’s up to the two of you but legally he only has to pay cms amount

LittleOwl153 · 24/11/2021 23:54

CMS calculated figure is to cover everything! If your Ex is so inclined then whatever the CMS calculator says is all he has to co tribute towards your child when he is not with him. He should also, cover food/accomodation when he is with him of course! (Many RPs fi d the end up sending clothes too).

Depending on your situation, you may negotiate that Ex pays for other things, part of dinner money, school uniforms, clubs, childcare etc but it is just that a negotiation. And one which your Ex can decide to change at any point if he is that way inclined.

LittleOwl153 · 24/11/2021 23:59

You don't say which days they are with him. If they are with him on a school day so let's say they sleep there on a Monday, then he should provide Tuesdays school lunch... and potentially Mondays after school care /clubs. You might want to be careful when you agree as changeover points too - for example assuming you both work who is responsible for kids sick days, inset days etc...

Confusedteacher · 25/11/2021 00:07

In my mind child maintenance is to pay for basic requirements- food, clothes etc. I actually end up paying for after school clubs too but my DC don’t do anything particularly expensive, just £2 for football or brownie subs once a term etc. We go halves on bigger expenses such as school trips, as I see that as a luxury. Phone contracts- we have 2 DC and we pay for one each. That’s just the way it worked out- he got DD1 her phone for her birthday and I bought DD2’s phone.

He also pays for clothes to keep at his house, especially underwear, pjs, toothbrush etc so the DC are not traipsing around with a big bag- they just take essentials with them like teddies, phones, and any particular clothes they want for that weekend.

We don’t split uniform but I know some people do- it’s for you to negotiate I guess.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/11/2021 00:18

The CMS calculator assumes he’s paying his fair share for the days they are with him. So, as you suggest, 2/7ths of those expenses. That’s why it’s calculated on how many nights you have them/ he has them.

However, in reality it’s “how long is a piece of string” - it’s whatever the two of you can agree/ think reasonable/ want the children to have.

ConsuelaHammock · 25/11/2021 00:54

Half the costs of raising a child . However the resident parent should take into account child benefit and any other benefits they get to help them support the child/children.

PicaK · 25/11/2021 01:02

I think it's your responsibility to feed and clothe them and give them a safe space to live on your days.
So dinner money and any weekly activities you want them to do are your responsibility to meet the costs of on your days.
I'd pay for the mobile so they can always contact you.
One offs like school trip you need to discuss and negotiate on.

To pp, I'm not sure who gets child benefit has anything to do with it tbh

CiaoForDiNiaoSaur · 25/11/2021 01:15

@LittleOwl153

You don't say which days they are with him. If they are with him on a school day so let's say they sleep there on a Monday, then he should provide Tuesdays school lunch... and potentially Mondays after school care /clubs. You might want to be careful when you agree as changeover points too - for example assuming you both work who is responsible for kids sick days, inset days etc...

I agree with this. However IME the RP (usually Mum) ends up paying for everything.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 25/11/2021 06:12

The maintenance that exh pays me covers most things - school dinners, hobbies, food and clothing for DS when he is with me (90% of the time), days out, holidays. He earns well and I get £600pm though so it more than covers it.

Larger one off items - school trips, new school.uniform once a year, anything expensive for his hobbies (DS rides horses and plays guitar, decent equipment sn't cheap) he gives me extra for these and we go halves.

PooWillyNameChange · 25/11/2021 06:28

What does the calculator say? My ex pays me £1000 pm for my daughter, pays for her iPhone and buys her Xmas pressies. It covers everything for her so I don't ask for anything really.

PooWillyNameChange · 25/11/2021 06:29

I should add that he grossly underpaid for years before I got CMS involved and then I would ask for contributions to school ski trips etc. But I wish I'd got CMS involved earlier rather than struggling.

Hotpinkangel19 · 25/11/2021 06:50

I get £20 a week for my daughter 😂

PaulaTrilloe · 25/11/2021 06:57

Where can I find the CMS calculator?
Would appreciate a link!

megletthesecond · 25/11/2021 07:00

It's doesn't officially cover anything, it just goes into the household budget. It's just a proportion of the non resident parents wages.

Bagelsandbrie · 25/11/2021 07:09

I’ve never broken it down into specific things. I just have it paid info the household account and use it towards everything. If dd needs something particularly expensive (ie money towards a school trip or a new laptop for college) then we split the costs between us for those. Dh is pretty tight though, he earns a ridiculous amount but has only ever given me £200 a month, very long story!

Gliderx · 25/11/2021 07:41

I don't think it's really meant to "cover" anything. How can it be when it's calculated by reference to the NRP's income and is not taken into account in benefits calculations?

The assumption seems to be that the RP will meet all the child's expenses (even if that means the child is living in poverty and supported by benefits). Child maintenance is simply to make sure that NRPs who can afford it don't get away without contributing to their children. In a lot of cases, it's largely symbolic (£15 per week etc.).

Not saying I agree with this, but it's not child-centred, it's parent-centred. Question is not what should he pay for for your child, but instead how much is he on the hook for legally? Try telling an RP whose ex pays £15 per week that that should cover school trips.

Original poster

MoiraNotRuby · 25/11/2021 07:51

Thanks all. Of course it makes sense that it doesn't officially cover anything. So I'm trying to solve a logic puzzle that does not exist really.

OP posts:

Original poster

MoiraNotRuby · 25/11/2021 07:52

And for the poster who asked for the link -

www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

OP posts:

lollipopsandrainbows · 25/11/2021 08:00

I get £164 p/m for my child and she's with me 100% of the time. So any extras like dancing, gymnastics, school dinners/trips all have to be provided for by me. So I assume the payment is to cover anything. As we're none contact, all the additional activities she does are through my/her choice, so I guess I have to suck it up. For the poster saying she receives £1000 p/m, that would be literally life changing for my child - she could have so much more.

GrumpyLivesInMyHouseNow · 25/11/2021 08:02

I always thought it covered the ability to house, clothe and feed your dc.

I'd say things like clubs, school trips etc should be split. However my ex sees cm as a 'get out of jail free card', to never pay for anything extra.

BeyondOurReef · 25/11/2021 08:03

One of the problems with it is that the figure has absolutely nothing to do with the costs at all.

It can actually work both ways. There are some people doing very well out of high earning exes who have a lot of contact. But that’s definitely the minority. Mostly the figure doesn’t even cover basic stuff. There are a lot of £7 a week calculations out there.

It’s not meant to be half of the costs associated with the child in theory. It’s supposed to be half of the costs for the additional time one parent has the children. That’s why there’s no maintenance at 50-50. So if it’s a 5/14 contact arrangement, the maintenance is really about splitting the costs for the 4 additional days the resident parent is responsible.

It’s a bit of a trying to square a circle situation though for many reasons. NRPs can only pay based on their earnings. And they do have their own costs - for the children too. Both parents need to house them and that cost is constant. Similarly, people will have different ideas about what it needs to cover - how much is reasonable to spend on clothes and shoes and activities?

So it’s no problem wonder the system is a bloody mess.

coodawoodashooda · 25/11/2021 09:51

@Hotpinkangel19

I get £20 a week for my daughter 😂

Snap!!!

Original poster

MoiraNotRuby · 25/11/2021 09:55

@BeyondOurReef

One of the problems with it is that the figure has absolutely nothing to do with the costs at all.

It can actually work both ways. There are some people doing very well out of high earning exes who have a lot of contact. But that’s definitely the minority. Mostly the figure doesn’t even cover basic stuff. There are a lot of £7 a week calculations out there.

It’s not meant to be half of the costs associated with the child in theory. It’s supposed to be half of the costs for the additional time one parent has the children. That’s why there’s no maintenance at 50-50. So if it’s a 5/14 contact arrangement, the maintenance is really about splitting the costs for the 4 additional days the resident parent is responsible.

It’s a bit of a trying to square a circle situation though for many reasons. NRPs can only pay based on their earnings. And they do have their own costs - for the children too. Both parents need to house them and that cost is constant. Similarly, people will have different ideas about what it needs to cover - how much is reasonable to spend on clothes and shoes and activities?

So it’s no problem wonder the system is a bloody mess.

Very well put, thank you. I think its going to encourage my stbxh to attempt to go for 50/50 so he doesn't have to pay anything. However the kids don't want to be with him half of the time (because he is crap at meeting their needs) but they also know if they tell him that, 'they will make him really sad'...

OP posts:

LucentBlade · 25/11/2021 10:01

People with the really low payments of £20 is that because your ex partners are unemployed? I just looked at what I would have got, DS finished school a year ago so it is irrelevant but I was just interested.

I know two women whose partners moved overseas when their dc were babies so they received zero maintenance. Another whose ex managed to do God knows what but he was a solicitor and managed to pay hardly anything.

Good luck op.

lockdownalli · 25/11/2021 10:04

Agree it's not about what it covers. The payment is based on the NRPs ability to pay a certain amount.

I would not get into a debate about precise needs being met, just use the calculator and go with that.