My parents are in their 70s. I am their only child. My dad is a very difficult man,always has been. He a classic narcissist. We do get on reasonably well now as I only have to see him in short doses. Obviously my mum is with him 24/7.
Since I was an extremely young child (maybe 5 or 6) my mum has used me as a counsellor, an emotional support, someone to offload all her worries on to etc. She made me dislike my own father when he didn't do anything to me.
Now I'm an adult and parent myself I see how awful this was because it gave me a skewed view of my dad. He was actually a very good dad to me and still is. Was never abusive to me etc. Their relationship wasn't great obviously.
Anyway, my mum is a quiet little mouse. She doesn't have any friends, doesn't go out anywhere with anyone apart from my dad or me /our family. We speak every single day. She contacts me alot. She says if it wasn't for me and the children she would have nothing to live for. If I don't reply within the hour, she's ringing me to see where I am, if I'm OK etc. I see her twice a week. But the trouble is every time we speak on the phone she's complaining to me about my dad and telling me how much she hates him etc. I am so drained after every conversation.
Right now my child has covid and is poorly with it so I'm dealing with that, and my husband is recovering from a severe injury. I have a lot to deal with. But her offloading to me has to come first.
I honestly feel like she and I need some therapy. She is far to reliant on me for emotional support but doesn't give me any support in return. Any tips on how I should deal with this going forward? I can't face anthother 10/20 years of it. But without me she'd be suffering in silence