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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To deliberately book annual leave to coincide with my work's Christmas party?

64 replies

christmaspartyblues · 23/11/2021 21:05

Work's Christmas party is compulsory, it's during the working day so I can't use the excuse of being busy.

Thinking of trying to book the day off for annual leave, although cutting it a bit fine as I won't have given as much notice as we are technically meant to, but it's been fine before. The whole office closes that day, clients are told in advance, etc. So I can't use the excuse of wanting to work/man the phones.

I'm quite new in the job, but everyone seems really excited about it and I'm just dreading it

OP posts:
Amandasummers · 25/11/2021 04:53

I’d take annual leave. Fuck being forced to socialise with colleagues. No way. Could not think of anything worse!

Amandasummers · 25/11/2021 04:54

Also just being nosey but what is the event? It’s odd it being formal and free bar etc but during the day??? Seems really strange!

ThinWomansBrain · 25/11/2021 05:16

i'd go but disappear if everyone if/when people get pissed/unbearable. I joined a new job where everyone is working from home, and take every opportunity to meet up.

If you really really don't want to go, call in on the day with fever & high temperature and you wouldn't dream of passing anything on at a crowded event - or isolating before test results arrive.

AlternativePerspective · 25/11/2021 06:17

IME most people go to the Christmas party under duress anyway, but feel they have some kind of obligation to go and socialise with a load of people they probably don’t like because of office politics.

My mum never went to the office Christmas party, and neither did she participate in secret Santa on the basis it’s a waste of money and people just buy a load of tat because for the price you can’t really buy anything worth having, and as she didn’t want to participate she didn’t.

The number of people who felt that they were able to not go/not participate in these events because she didn’t give a shit whether people objected was significant. As was the number of people who talked up the Christmas party, said how people should all go etc, and then, about 2 days before would say they wish they didn’t have to go to the bloody thing was also significant. And she was one of the most valued employees there.

I’m not currently working, but in the first company I worked for they had this major social aspect. It was expected that you attend the Christmas party where there was a free bar and most people drank so much they could barely stand.

It was expected that you go to team lunches/dinners,

It was expected that you be a member of their social club and so the list goes on.

And partners were very much not encouraged, and as such the numbers of people having affairs with other co-workers was unreal. And this was a big, corporate, financial services organisation.

I would check what kind of event it is, i.e. is there a corporate aspect to it. But nobody should be forced to stay at a free for all where people are expected to get pissed at the free bar.

As for PP saying she’d think twice about giving a job to someone who didn’t attend the Christmas party, I’d imagine a lot of people would consider whether they wanted to work for someone who was so focussed on their work social life that their employees’ jobs depended on it. Certainly not an attractive look for a manager.

CricketCat · 25/11/2021 06:21

I think you’ve left it too late to book annual leave. I’d just pull a sickie that day.

FabricedeSauveterre · 25/11/2021 06:27

I’d either play up the Covid uncomfortableness of being in big groups or develop a cough plus close contact exposure so better safe than sorry while you await a PCR

MrsLargeEmbodied · 25/11/2021 06:46

people will want to meet you?

wetpebbles · 25/11/2021 06:47

Just cancel on the day with pcr test

Heyvedge · 25/11/2021 06:59

I would take advantage of Covid and have a bit of a sniff and cough

Bluesheep8 · 25/11/2021 07:11

Don't really want to be in a crowded venue with 100+ people, although I am vaccinated

You have every right to say this. I'd be amazed if you weren't the only one tbh.

Annexlife · 25/11/2021 07:11

I used to dread these things from what to wear to what to talk about, however it was never as bad as I thought it would be. From the tone of your posts, it seems you have already made up your mind you aren't going, in which case I would suggest sick rather than annual leave. The party is clearly a big deal to your corporation and claiming holiday plans at a late date will, in my opinion, just look a little rude. However please consider being a little brave and trying it. Have an early exit strategy planned out if you really aren't enjoying it and at least you can say you tried.

ApplesAreTheBaneOfMyLife · 25/11/2021 07:38

I totally understand how you feel (been there!) but I think because of the probation period you have to suck it up this year.

Maybe have a strategy for an easy and early exit up your sleeve if it’s awful. Could you get a phone call asking you to come home for some emergency?!

Sleeplessem · 25/11/2021 08:44

@christmaspartyblues

Work's Christmas party is compulsory, it's during the working day so I can't use the excuse of being busy.

Thinking of trying to book the day off for annual leave, although cutting it a bit fine as I won't have given as much notice as we are technically meant to, but it's been fine before. The whole office closes that day, clients are told in advance, etc. So I can't use the excuse of wanting to work/man the phones.

I'm quite new in the job, but everyone seems really excited about it and I'm just dreading it

Think I used to work for this company lol.

Is it at a remote venue and all day and not officially branded as an x mas party?

Allsorts1 · 25/11/2021 10:26

Lots of people at my work are declining events like this, just say that you are concerned about Covid and don’t want to attend this year.

However, I have social anxiety too and often get really worked up dreading social occasions with new people and really the only way to get over this is to just GO, meet the people and it will be less awkward every subsequent time. If I had listened to my inner social anxiety every time, I would have missed out on a lot of good friendships that I have now made but started off shit scared about being introduced etc.

Sometimes in life you do have to get yourself out of your comfort zone for long term gains, I would say that this is one of those times. Lean in!

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