Is it enough lunch money?

[PILHELP]

DH and I are having a disagreement over DD's lunch money. She started at secondary in September and chose packed lunches initially, made them herself, all great.

She's switched to school lunches now and one of us thinks £4/day is too much on top of still taking two snacks from home and the other thinks the £4 should include snacks and drinks (if she forgets her water bottle) or it should be dropped a bit to £3/day. For reference, a main meal is about £2.50 and so £4 would buy a meal, snack and a drink.

YABU - £4/day is too much with taking food from home
YANBU - £4/day should include everything for a 12 year old

I may or may not have swapped the options to the interests of not disclosing which one I am!

Both your options are the same. One thinks the £4 plus stuff from home is too much. The other thinks the £4 should include everything. The two people agree?

A very basic hot meal deal without a drink at my children’s secondary is £2.80 so £4 is just a different meal (not meal of the day) or a meal deal and a drink. My children have £4 and take a snack and drink. I agree it’s a lot more than I thought but I’m just glad they are happy to take snacks and don’t want me to pay school prices for those also.

It soon adds up, doesn't it?

I'd say she can have £3 a day and takes a drink and snack from home.

I feel like both of those options can be true at the same time? Assuming she needs lunch, a snack and a drink every day, which costs £4 altogether, then she either takes £4 and buys everything, or she takes snacks and drinks from home and you give her enough to cover the lunch, which is apparently £2.50.

It depends on family affordability. We don't have the budget for school dinners so packed lunch food is freely available and any extras comes out of pocket money.

My three all get £3.50 a day for their school/college meal, snack and a drink. They also take a drinks bottle from home with them.

If they burn through it too quickly (it's loaded onto their parentpay/college account at the start of the month) then they have to take packed lunches for the rest of the month.

I give them enough to buy a meal but drinks and snacks are taken from home. If they want to buy snacks and drinks, they’re welcome to take a packed lunch for the meal instead. In practice, they spend all their money in the first half of the term then take stuff from home for the second half when their money has run out!

You're right, I've cocked up!!

So is £4 too much if she still wants to take snacks from home?

Is it reasonable to say for £4 she needs to buy it all at school?

Or should £3 be enough and she can top up with snacks from home?

I think what I meant is that one parent thinks £4 plus items from home is too much and the other thinks it is fine.

NB. one parent also thinks when she has spare left and is now forgetting water and buying it then it is too much, the other thinks this is fine

Both your options can be true.

Do you mean
Yabu: £4 per day is too much with snacks from home so should be reduced or snacks left at home.

Yanbu: £4 plus snacks from home is fine.

I should add, the issue has arisen because one parent is loading up the money and has also been letting the extra snacks go to school which has annoyed the other parent. Putting it all on in one go didn't work as she didn't budget for the week properly and ran out (one parent thinks she needs to learn that way, the other thought best to top up less frequently)

Our primary dinners are £2.15 per day.
I'm 5 years out of date but bought sufficient lunch on roughly £2 per day in a secondary canteen. I bought food only, not drinks. That will have gone up.
So I would imagine that £3 per day would be sufficient for lunches and £4 per day fairly generous. £4 per day plus snacks from home sounds likely to be excessive.

Do a budget for the month. If she uses it all up then she has to make packed lunches.

And she should always take a water bottle

One parent thinks extra £1/day is not a big deal, other thinks that is £20/month plus cost of the extra snacks that is avoidable.

Both parents have better things to be doing than arguing about this

Dd is 14 and spends up to £2.50 a day. She sometimes takes one snack from home. Dinner is either sandwich or pasta salad and a cookie. She takes her own drink.
She wouldn't have time to get to the canteen and eat a hot meal.
As an aside the catering company at her school have a £5 cap on lunch.

Thank you - I think there is a cap as well and £5 seems like a lot but I guess they could be pressured to buy for their friends/others and it could rack up to that much

If £4/day will get her a meal, drink and snack then she gets two options:

1. £4/a day to cover everything

2. Drink/snack from home and £3 a day for a meal

A 12 year old does not need three snacks, two drinks and lunch in the space of the school day (which is what the £4/day and snacks/drinks from home amounts to)

😦at the cost of school dinners!

Dd (yr11) has refused to take anything other than a bagel and jam since year 8🤢 she doesn’t take snacks either.

£4 a day is £20 quid a week.

For once I’m really grateful that she’s an unbearably fussy eater.

Compromise and give her 3.50 a day. Give her the budget for the month and if she goes over tough

My DDs school it is £1.50 for a meal, around 50p for a drink and 40p for a slice of cake/most snacks. They rarely spend more than £2.50 a day. £4 seems a lot to me but going off these replies it seems average. So I was going to say £4 is a lot but I guess it depends on the costs involved. I’m in the north west if that makes any difference. I would top her account up to begin with and then see how much she is spending. I didn’t really set a daily limit as they are fairly sensible and don’t buy for all their friends etc- if they were spending a lot I would bring it up.

It's £2.80 for a meal, £1 for a bottle of water and 75-90p for snack at my DS school so £4 wouldn't be enough but he takes a snack and water from home and only has a school lunch one day a week.
One cookie-75p
A pack of two Oreos -50p
He often comes shopping with me and you can get two whole packs of Oreos for £1 from Asda so knows if he takes a Snack from home he's saving his money.

DS gets £4 a day to include meal and snacks. He takes water from home. He tends to spend around £3.50 most days and will treat himself to a slush or milkshake on friday with his savings from the week. He gets £20 for the week and has to budget himself. He tends to check in with me on Weds/Thurs to confirm his balance.

£3 with snacks from home should be plenty. £4 to cover everything works well for us.

Hmmm wished I'd taken my time and phrased this better to share with DH. He is the one who thinks £4/day is fine plus taking snacks and drinks and is also happy to top her up if she blows it all. His view is we can afford it and I don't think that's the point, she's not getting the opportunity to learn anything when she can have whatever she wants and if she messes up then he will solve it

Ouch, £20 a week sounds a lot to me if they're taking snacks from home! DD takes a packed lunch in daily then buys lunch on a Friday. I don't limit her at all, she just tells me when she needs to top up and I give her a £20 but so far she's averaged about £3.50 on those Fridays so £20 lasts 8-9 weeks.

I think if she's taking snacks she doesn't need enough to buy them too and organising your food to save money is a good life lesson.

Well can you afford it?

Does it make any difference to your lived or a drop in the ocean?

id do £4 a day to include everything or £3 plus a snack, personally my opinion is no one should need snacks on top of lunch, 3 meals a day should be plenty but even so 1 snack is enough in which case i would probably send them with £3.50 and get them to buy the snack in school or take £3 and take a snack from home