To be shocked at neighbour's false accusation

[Hdksla133]

My intuition has told me for years, that next door neighbour is not all he seems. My DP has had run-ins with him on and off. The latest escapade was when he decided to hire a skip. He was emptying stuff out of the skip and putting the rubbish by our back door. DP confronted him and said it wasn't him putting our stuff in the skip and the rubbish he was emptying didn't belong to us. So DP put the rubbish back in the skip. Neighbour took it out and literally said it was "tough shit" and chucked the stuff by our door again. A scuffle between them started which got physical, however DP walked away before the contact got serious and told him he wasn't worth it. I wasn't there and wasn't aware of this.

However last night DP let it slip that one week ago at 9pm, two police officers knocked on the door. They said they received an anonymous phone call regarding our two week old baby. At the time I was having a sleep upstairs before taking over 'shifts' with my DP (I do the night shift). They wanted to check the baby was being fed and was warm and they checked the house. DP was obviously more than obliging, as the baby couldn't be more looked after. The house was all warm and tidy and the baby was peacefully napping after feeding. It was obvious that the phone call was a malicious accusation made. It is also blaringly obvious it's the neighbour.

This has both shocked and upset me. It's one thing having a scuffle over some rubbish in the backyard, but to stoop so low to make a malicious accusatory phone call to the police accusing us of neglecting our newborn. Have felt numb ever since. It got me worrying where does someone like this stop. What will he do next... phone social services and falsely accuse me of harming my baby. Feel so stressed. I feel like contacting the community police and having my concerns documenting. Apparently DP got chatting to a bloke that lives a few doors up and he was saying how this neighbour has put nails in tyres in most of the cars on the road including his and he now has a camera up. DP had a nail recently in a car tyre, I have recently had one too. So I also have the safety of my car each time I get in it to worry about now.

Is it not jumping to conclusions to take it as read this was your neighbour? You've no actual proof of that.

Why did your husband not tell you the police had come to your house? I'd be pretty pissed off if DH neglected to tell me that. Although nobody gets near the front door here without me hearing them because I such a light sleeper, so I'd not have missed them in any case.

You've no proof that it was your neighbour though. Could have been someone else entirely.

@AnnieJ1985

Why did your husband not tell you the police had come to your house? I'd be pretty pissed off if DH neglected to tell me that. Although nobody gets near the front door here without me hearing them because I such a light sleeper, so I'd not have missed them in any case.

You've no proof that it was your neighbour though. Could have been someone else entirely.

This is a very valid point. Why didn't he tell you immediately? I'd have expected to be woken up if the police were in my house!

People, unfortunately, do it because people are assholes.

A neighbor (not next door but down the street) did it to me several times when my oldest was a baby, It got to the point where social services actually came out to check as well as the local police and were baffled by the calls.

They said the only possible issue they could find was my DS had 'quite a lot of toys' which if they weren't tidied away could pose a trip hazard but that didn't even matter because apart from the ones he was currently playing with they were stored correctly out of the way.

They said he was clearly fed, well looked after, and loved.

The thing is me and the girl doing it had been friends (met when I was new to the areas and my only friend except for DH) and I had confided in her how I was terrified someone would try to take my DS off me.

She got a new friend who didn't like me (I didnt like her either she was homophobic and I refused to 'laugh along' and clearly 'couldn't take a joke' even though I never did anything other than walk away when she started up) and then they both just turned on me.

It was clearly the new girl spurning her on but as a side effect, I haven't made any new local friends in over a decade, it was lonely at first but I'm used to it now because now I know I can't trust anyone not to go after my kids over nothing.

It’s very weird your DH didn’t tell you, I’m surprised so many people haven’t picked up on that, how odd.

The thing is that a new buyer might get on well with the neighbour or have no issues at all. You can't never sell and move just in case the next person has an issue - that's preposterous.

I'd keep things as quiet as possible and hope to move soon.

Maybe whoever moves in next will be intimidating enough that this scumbag will think twice before crossing him. If you "warn" potential buyers that there's an idiot living next door, you risk never moving... I'd assume he was truly frightening, if someone felt they had to warn me about him!

Op

I would put serious money on fact your DH is bull shitting

The police would have asked to have seen you.

You have a sinister DH issue

@Oftenithinkaboutit

Op

I would put serious money on fact your DH is bull shitting

The police would have asked to have seen you.

You have a sinister DH issue

To be fair you're probably right.

OP didn't see the fight or the police...

I read this and thought the “DH had the police around” thing was odd, but I thought I was being cynical…

OP sadly I grew up in a home with a lot of police visits. In my experience, they’d have needed to talk to you too. They wouldn’t have left without talking to you.

I very much hope that he somehow got caught in a lie and he hasn’t told you this to panic you…

@Loudestcat14

The police visit to OP doesn't have to be declared because there's no proof the NDN made the call.

Exactly.

Could have come from anyone even someone on the other side of the planet.

Get out and about, to baby groups, visiting friends and family, walks etc when you can to distract yourself and to prove that there are good people around who make you feel good.

Either the OP is making up the entire thing

Or

The DH is lying to the OP and there was no police visit

Do the police make these visits or is it SS that turn up?

Was your baby there OP and you were out?

Be very careful your husband doesn't get into any scuffles with him again. It's the perfect way for the neighbour to make an accusation of assault.
If he continues contacting the police they'll accuse him of wasting their time.

Yes the police can do a “welfare check” which sounds like it was, though I don’t believe we are getting the full story here...

Op you and your dh have to act more crazy than your neighbour...its the only way to stop him.