To be shocked at neighbour's false accusation

[Hdksla133]

My intuition has told me for years, that next door neighbour is not all he seems. My DP has had run-ins with him on and off. The latest escapade was when he decided to hire a skip. He was emptying stuff out of the skip and putting the rubbish by our back door. DP confronted him and said it wasn't him putting our stuff in the skip and the rubbish he was emptying didn't belong to us. So DP put the rubbish back in the skip. Neighbour took it out and literally said it was "tough shit" and chucked the stuff by our door again. A scuffle between them started which got physical, however DP walked away before the contact got serious and told him he wasn't worth it. I wasn't there and wasn't aware of this.

However last night DP let it slip that one week ago at 9pm, two police officers knocked on the door. They said they received an anonymous phone call regarding our two week old baby. At the time I was having a sleep upstairs before taking over 'shifts' with my DP (I do the night shift). They wanted to check the baby was being fed and was warm and they checked the house. DP was obviously more than obliging, as the baby couldn't be more looked after. The house was all warm and tidy and the baby was peacefully napping after feeding. It was obvious that the phone call was a malicious accusation made. It is also blaringly obvious it's the neighbour.

This has both shocked and upset me. It's one thing having a scuffle over some rubbish in the backyard, but to stoop so low to make a malicious accusatory phone call to the police accusing us of neglecting our newborn. Have felt numb ever since. It got me worrying where does someone like this stop. What will he do next... phone social services and falsely accuse me of harming my baby. Feel so stressed. I feel like contacting the community police and having my concerns documenting. Apparently DP got chatting to a bloke that lives a few doors up and he was saying how this neighbour has put nails in tyres in most of the cars on the road including his and he now has a camera up. DP had a nail recently in a car tyre, I have recently had one too. So I also have the safety of my car each time I get in it to worry about now.

A canny buyer might wonder why a vendor has suddenly bought a ring doorbell/camera/higher fences when they're about to move...

@nocnoc

Unless you’ve got documented disputes then you don’t have to declare. Your house is under offer. Put up obvious cameras outside front and back. Night lights. Big signs saying CCTV is recording. It’s not directed at him just personal security but it makes it obvious that you are recording everything. See if you can get a sign that says trespassers will be reported to the police. Do nothing official. You’re under offer anyway. Can you put up fencing that stops him accessing your property. Spikes on top. Barrier your property.

Don't do this. Your prospective buyers will almost certainly do drive bys. This might put them off and they might withdraw. Just make a chuff chart and tick the days off until you leave.

Surely you can be sued if you don’t declare issues? So if another neighbour mentions a physical fight between your dh and this bloke, the new buyers would have recourse to sue? Please declare.

I feel bad for you and the buyer that may end up buying your house. Before we made our final offer I knocked on both the neighbour's houses to just say I was thinking of buying. I was invited in by both for lovely chats and tea, Sounds like your nightmare neighbour wouldn't have passed the test.

@Cherrysoup

Surely you can be sued if you don’t declare issues? So if another neighbour mentions a physical fight between your dh and this bloke, the new buyers would have recourse to sue? Please declare.

Yes, you can be, not just actual disputes, but things that might lead to a dispute in the future.

Google when to declare disputes. I did. You do not have to declare any dispute unless it has been formally recorded eg a complaint to the police or council. Taken from a selling website

“ While what constitutes a dispute and what doesn't is left open to interpretation, there a few general rules that are useful to follow. If you have made a complaint to the council or another authority about the behaviour of your neighbours, or if you have contacted them directly in writing, then you are duty-bound to declare this on the SPIF form.”

So the answer is no and if anything comes back then everything else was resolved. You do not have to report anything that is not ongoing or hasn’t been reported.

@SheikhMaraca that is incorrect

I've been there OP.

It's awful to think of something like this being on your paperwork isn't it, even if it has been identified as just malice?

Like you I worry about selling but also worry about staying.

In terms of the declaration, the ideal person to advise would be the sort of solicitor who actually does the suing in these situations. It's easy for people to say "you could get sued" but suing is actually very complicated - plus what are the damages if the antagonism is personal and directed at you?

"blaringly obvious" is an unusual phrase.

Log with police on 101 and get cameras. Things like this tend to escalate.

Sounds like my neighbour who has form for dropping nails whenever someone has a tradesman round. He's a botch it and scarper type handy man and gets jealous when others don't use him for work.

Don't log it with the police as it's not worth getting it official in case you need to declare it when moving.

My neighbour has slashed tyres and thrown food waste into my garden. I put up cameras so that's stopped now, but he's sly so I never let my guard down around him.

I'm biding my time, as awful as it sounds his elderly mother is nearing the end of her time. Once she goes and he (late 50's never married) inherits he will spunk all the money on drugs and gambling and will eventually have to sell up.

Harassment is a criminal offence and the good news is, the police already have a record of one of the incidents because they were suckered into it.

Now is the perfect time to make a formal complaint to them, tell them about the skip incident and seek their advice. Keep written records of any further incidents.

Mwanwhile, find out if the neighbour is a tenant of his home, because if so he is probably breaking a clause in his tenancy agreement forbidding any nuisance to neighbours. You can pursue that with his landlord.

I had this with my Neighbour too . Called 101 to get an incident number & start a 'Paper trail ' I would declare this in the unlikely event I want to move . Solicitors letter sent with a warning & cameras installed . All gone quiet now . Unpleasant but I refuse to be cowed by ignorant , entitled arseholes . ( I'm also a petty bitch who now parks right up against their house albeit in my space )

A dear friend if mine is having an issue like this, her neighbour an older chap is retired and actually regularly creates problems. Even the kids walking, he calls the council to complain, goes through their shed and throws rubbish out of it onto the ground then goes knocking on the door to say can you please sort it out because I have just called the council to report it. He also went through their green bin and brought nappies out and threw them on the ground and then taped a note onto the communal notice board, please put your nappies in the bin. He also phoned social services and made horrid claims about my friend and her dh that they were abusing the kids, the house is filthy, kids are scruffy and the best one is they don't have car seats so all the children get thrown in a boot. I was literally gobsmacked. My friends dh went round to confront them by saying someone rang the house. They said well I didn't call social services. Basically dropped themselves in it. But he kept on denying and he was even pointing the finger at other neighbours and calling them names saying I bet it was she/him/that couple.

NOW they just ignore them completely and haven't seen him for months. I'm glad about that. But they still go into their bins and my friends back garden and have to keep putting stuff back that they touch. Can't wait for them to move. Sounds like a real nightmare next door programme

So sorry about your situation op, I'd get cameras to be honest with you. It's not acceptable at all

I'm so glad that you are moving. This is absolutely horrible. There are some real nutters out there.

I am so sorry that this has happened to you at this precious time.

You are emotionally very vulnerable here because you have just given birth and I would be aware that you are feeling raw and something like this could have a disproportionate impact (I suspect this is why your DH didn’t mention it immediately).

Concentrate on your emotional well-being and the positive stuff around your new born. Try to detach in your head from the stuff with this man.

It’s great that you are under offer - seems like as PP have said you currently don’t have to declare anything so I would have my eyes on the prize of moving on.

Its awful but the previous people would also have known.

They didnt declare to you. Why should you be the ones to loose a shit load of money and be stuck there.

Just keep your head down and move out.

Google when to declare disputes

I'd do this and talk to solicitor it through if/when you do try and sell.

we never complained about ours - as we knew we had to sell for schools/work.

I suspect next people never had problems given family/freinds had moved away during our time including neigbour oppoiste who seemed to egg her on, fact couple who bought were their ages not our with young kids, fact she made herself look a complete fool eventually and people did point it out to her and our no-repsonses and PA behavior drove her nuts and avoided the street arguement she'd apparently wanted - and this time there was no hope her family would be interested in property - would mean she'd be less interested in bad bloood.

I also went out a lot to baby groups - sure start and playgroups so I was seen every day interacting with the kids for many reasons including me wondering if she'd do this.

She never made a malcious complaint to SS - may have to HV and definitely did to one dinnerlady - who saw through quickly with pfb- and very posible with a later teachcer who insisted we were getting divorsed when DH was working away - something that seems to have started with her and upset the kids.

The relief when we finally moved - I hadn't realise what a huge source of stress and worry they'd caused.

I'd be very wary about formal reports if you plan to move - in fact DD1 GF family reporting made it escalate to courts and then being attaked in other parts of the city by friends of the neighbours leading to hospital addmissions and back to court - they're now stuck at the property with all the stress.

I sympathise with your situation.

But I do not have any sympathy with this:

At the risk of sounding very ageist here on Mumsnet, it amazes me that a seemingly respectable looking man at face value in his early 60s with grown up children, could stoop so low to make such a phone call

It is absolutely ageist! You have a batshit neighbour who just happens to be in his 60s. That does not mean that every man over 60 will behave like this.

Talk to your solicitor about whether you need to declare this. It is not as simple as only needing to declare formal disputes. This may need declaring… and there will be evidence of it in the police visit. I appreciate that isn’t what you want to hear, but there are ways to declare which might mean your buyer is okay with it, some buyers won’t care anyway, and you don’t want to be sued.

@Ubiquery

"blaringly obvious" is an unusual phrase.

Have a look at where the keys are on the keyboard - a slip of the finger perhaps? I do it all the time gin

@Multicolouredsequins Utter lies each time. I feel that there should be some sort of alert set up whereby repeat false accusations by the same person are flagged up so I don't immediately receive an unpleasant accusatory email from the council.
Our council does actually do this -Through my work, I know of at least one person who has been flagged as making 'vexatious complaints', and they have a different procedure for dealing with them.

@Dentistlakes

If you are in the middle of selling you need to be careful. Like you say, you need to declare any neighbour disputes. Personally I would ignore and get out asap.

You don't have to declare verbal arguments, which is all that's happened so far between her DH and the NDN. If every single row had to be declared, no one would ever move house! It's only if you've contacted the police or logged a complaint with Environmental Heath or some other official body that you have to mention it.

The police visit to OP doesn't have to be declared because there's no proof the NDN made the call.

If you’re house is under offer I’d just keep out of his way until your exchange.