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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is my future employer?

79 replies

pcofmushu · 22/11/2021 17:12

I have been offered a fantastic new job that I have accepted, however I have said that I cannot start until after XXXX as I am currently in the process of buying a house and the mortgage advisor informs me that changing jobs during an application is not ideal. (We have the formal mortgage offer, just waiting to move in).

New employer says they feel "let down" that I cannot start any sooner. I maintain that I cannot scupper my chances when we are so close to moving in.

Thoughts? AIBU to not take the risk (and ultimately follow the financial advisor's advice!), or should I be accommodating the desires of the new job?

OP posts:
RunnerDuck2020 · 22/11/2021 17:12

How long have you asked them to wait?

NellieBertram · 22/11/2021 17:13

Were you not asked about notice period or start date during the interview process?

How long as you proposing to wait?

cantgetmyheadroundit · 22/11/2021 17:13

Did you tell them about this St the interview? How long have you asked them to wait?

Dishwashersaurous · 22/11/2021 17:14

Entirely depends on how long you are suggesting and what the standard notice period in your industry is.

Standard notice a month and you are asking for five weeks, should be OK.

Standard notice period is a week and you are asking for three months clearly not fair on the company

Original poster
pcofmushu · 22/11/2021 17:15

I was offered the role last week and I have asked them to wait until January (as we move in over Christmas)

OP posts:
pastabest · 22/11/2021 17:17

On the face of it you aren't being unreasonable if it's a professional role and typical notice periods are 1month+ anyway.

You are being unreasonable if the job is 'Christmas Elf' or similar.

Dishwashersaurous · 22/11/2021 17:17

So you have asked for two months. What is standard notice period in your industry?

Hetty0 · 22/11/2021 17:18

Of course YANBU - your mortgage could fall through!

Billandben444 · 22/11/2021 17:19

So, if you know your moving date then there'd be no threat to the mortgage in changing jobs. Is it that you want the time off to actually move in which case YABU.

FreedomFaith · 22/11/2021 17:19

If you are moving in over Christmas, why not just start the job once you have the keys to the house? You can unpack and stuff at night and weekends, it won't take that long.

Original poster
pcofmushu · 22/11/2021 17:21

Exact move in date hasn't been confirmed yet as the property is new build and has experienced delays in completion due to issues with supplies. We should have completed in October! However, things are very much on track for a December completion (just waiting for NHBC sign off before notice being served), hence no exact start date and therefore funds not yet drawn down from mortgage lender

OP posts:
JackieCollinshasnoauthority · 22/11/2021 17:21

Seems fair. It's only 6 weeks

Batfinkwings · 22/11/2021 17:22

I wouldn't have thought it would affect your mortgage.
I was made redundant a month before DH and I moved into our first home. By then all of the checks on payslips etc had been done so I just didn't mention it to the mortgage provider.

Your potential new employer is being a bit OTT over a matter of a week or a few days.
If you have a months notice then you wouldn't be able to start until a couple of days before Christmas anyway, I don't see why waiting for you to move house, then starting you just after Christmas would be so bad.

Griefmonster · 22/11/2021 17:22

"let down" implies they had an impression you'd be able to start earlier. The timescale isn't reasonable or unreasonable. It's all about expectations.

If you misled them, YABU
If they didn't mention a required start date YANBU.

Disfordarkchocolate · 22/11/2021 17:22

That seems a perfectly normal delay.

Original poster
pcofmushu · 22/11/2021 17:23

@FreedomFaith

If you are moving in over Christmas, why not just start the job once you have the keys to the house? You can unpack and stuff at night and weekends, it won't take that long.
It isn't about the time it'll take to move in, it's about the mortgage lender drawing us the funds in the first place. The mortgage advisor informs us that they will do a final credit check/bank statement check before drawing the funds and therefore having half a salary (or equivalent) the month of starting mortgage won't look very good and could therefore jeopardise chances of even being given the ££
OP posts:
ColinTheKoala · 22/11/2021 17:24

Starting after Christmas seems reasonable to me, we're almost at the end of November now; in my sector we usually have 3 month notice periods so waiting 6 weeks seems fine.

Original poster
pcofmushu · 22/11/2021 17:25

@Griefmonster

"let down" implies they had an impression you'd be able to start earlier. The timescale isn't reasonable or unreasonable. It's all about expectations.

If you misled them, YABU
If they didn't mention a required start date YANBU.

No mention of a required start date, in fact when I was offered the role by HR the rep asked "when are you looking to start?", not "can you start on XXXX date?"
OP posts:
NorthSouthcatlady · 22/11/2021 17:26

I would assume at this stage in the game, most people would be starting after Christmas and in the New Year. I have done a fair amount of recruiting in my time and your request seems reasonable to me

They sound precious and demanding. Not a great start or vibe from where l am sitting

Griefmonster · 22/11/2021 17:27

I'm a bit confused about your FA advice though... If you don't start your job will you not be unemployed otherwise?! It feels like something doesn't add up.

Forget moving, what is your current work situation and when are you due to leave?

Original poster
pcofmushu · 22/11/2021 17:30

@Griefmonster

I'm a bit confused about your FA advice though... If you don't start your job will you not be unemployed otherwise?! It feels like something doesn't add up.

Forget moving, what is your current work situation and when are you due to leave?

I am frustrated with their advice also but I feel they are the expert and I have no reason to disbelieve what they are saying. I'd welcome any other opinions though!

Current work situation is full time, need to give 1 month notice. As soon as we are served notice (which is 2 weeks prior to completion day) I will hand my notice in, so it is literally delaying start date by 6-8 weeks MAX

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 22/11/2021 17:31

Is their issue that you can't give them a set date?

Original poster
pcofmushu · 22/11/2021 17:35

By the sounds of it their issue is that they wanted me to start ASAP, when my opinion is that I'm not delaying start date beyond what is reasonable. I can only hand my notice in (notice period of 1 month) once all the pre-employment checks have gone through anyway, which usually take 2 - 3 weeks, plus my 4 week notice take us up to mid Jan anyway!? Maybe even a bit later with Christmas as I doubt much happens in the way of recruitment over Xmas?

OP posts:
Griefmonster · 22/11/2021 17:36

I can't comment on the FA advice (although I have no experience of mortgage lender snooping around a bank account once all paper work is agreed).

Is the issue with your new employer not that you're saying you don't in fact know when your start date is? You're not saying "I will start on x date" you seem to be tying the start date to moving so saying "I wont hand in my notice until I know when I'm moving". In which case, YABU. Once I offered a post and it is accepted, I would expect the person to hand in their notice, serve their notice period and then start.

HermioneWeasley · 22/11/2021 17:38

One month’s notice now would have you starting around Xmas, which is a daft time to start, so early Jan is fine.

I think the advice from thr mortage broker is odd though, assuming you’re not taking a massive drop in income?