AIBU to be so sad about needing hysterectomy?

[SquarePeggyLeggy]

I’m 41, I have 3 kids, my husband doesn’t want any more, and I don’t really, but kind of do. We are getting old to do it even if we wanted to. I don’t really want to.
BUT…
I am so sad about my upcoming hysterectomy. I have dreadful birth injuries and endometriosis, my uterus is causing me trouble and has since I was 12. It also carried my babies. And this is it and it’s so permanent and there’s no going back and it’s the end of the chapter.
I feel near tears thinking about it, I’m so sad, but also it will improve my quality of life. But geez it’s getting me down.
Please give me stories where you were so happy you did it. My surgeon said without fail, his patients say they wish they’d done it years ago.

Had it done at 45 after two DDs, and zero regrets. Pain free op and no more horrendous periods. Wish I’d had it done years before and it has improved my quality of life one hundred percent. Four years on I am still so incredibly relieved. Good luck with whatever you decide. X

Sympathy op. My mum had a hysterectomy at 70 as part of life-changing surgery for bladder cancer, and despite everything else that she had going on medically at the time, it was the thought of losing her womb that utterly broke her.

I do hope you can find peace with this, is there any chance of postponing until after you get some support?

I had a hysterectomy at 27 and I have never looked back. Overnight I felt so much better. Even the post op pain was at most a dull ache as opposed to the horrendous pain from endo/scar tissue/adhesions/etc...

I had many surgeries prior to this, and I kept trying, so so hard, to hang on to something I ultimately didn't need. I had DC and I was unable to have any more without a huge amount of medical assistance even to just conceive, let alone carry a child.

I was up and walking around pretty quickly, and on minimal pain relief. It just felt fantastic, honestly. And it only gets better. I had forgotten prior to the surgery what it was like to not have the tummy pain, back pain, tummy upsets, periods that lasted weeks (sometimes months) and that needed medical intervention to stop. To not have to take all the pain meds. To not have to deal with the hormones. Bonus was they took my cervix too - so no more smears ever :)

I'm about to turn 41, and though I had a few hormonal moments in the first week or so (kinda like baby blues), I have never once regretted the surgery. It really is life changing :)

I felt a lot like you in the lead up too. I was up and down and all over the place at times. But, it is so so worth it. You get your life back, your energy. Think of all the things you can do with the DC you have now, without pain, without having to plan to take spare period products/clothes/pain meds "just in case". It is so very very freeing :)

I had my hysterectomy at 34. Honestly the best decision I've made! I didn't have incisions and healed very quickly.

One night in hospital with minimum discomfort and I have felt so much better. I'm on good HRT and dont miss the pre menstural symptoms

My children have a happy healthy mum.

My womb bought me my children and did its job well and parting with it made it easier to be a better mum than if I'd kept it!

@Fuuuuuckit

Sympathy op. My mum had a hysterectomy at 70 as part of life-changing surgery for bladder cancer, and despite everything else that she had going on medically at the time, it was the thought of losing her womb that utterly broke her.

I do hope you can find peace with this, is there any chance of postponing until after you get some support?

Op asked for uplifting stories. I'm so sorry about your mum and I think you meant to show op you know how hard it is but please think before commenting.

Not me but my best friend's mum had a hysterectomy at 38 which is about 12 years ago now. Best friend was an only child and once she was 14 her mum decided she definitely wasn't ever having more children and paid to have it done privately as she just didn't want the hassle of heavy periods etc anymore. Honestly it seemed to give her a new lease of life and she still says now it was the best thing she's ever done and felt 'free' after.

Had complete hysterectomy in 2012 at 43. Felt like you are feeling beforehand. Was so scared to lose my womb and ovaries- would I still feel like a woman? Would I still feel like me? I think beforehand was the worse part. I cried lots and had lots of sleepless nights. My heart goes out to you ❤ The positives afterwards were astounding. My surgeon couldn't believe what he found when they opened me up - my entire pelvis was 'frozen' with endometriosis (I also had fibroids and cysts on my ovaries). He said I must have been in excruciating pain. I was but didn't know any better as had always felt that way. I had always caught every cold, bug going and felt constantly rundown from excessive bloodloss each month. My life completely changed for the better. I went on hrt straight away and the glory of not living a life on a monthly cycle is so freeing. I am happier, healthier and have never for one second regretted it. I didnt feel 'empty' down there and my libido didn't diminish. I dont feel any less of a woman. Sorry for the long post but I hope it reassures you. My mum had had a terrible time when she had hers 25 years earlier and I had huge fear beforehand based on her experience but mine was nothing but positive. There is a site called hystersisters which I found very helpful. It is American but has lots of useful information. I focused on all the positive things I could do for my recovery. Things like taking multivitamins and minerals in the lead-up and taking arnica around op time. Best of luck OP - I hope this reassures you a little xxx

My friend had hers done after years of pain and problems. She put it off and put it off, cried over it a lot. 6 weeks of recovery later she said why hadnt she had it done sooner as it had given her normal life back.

I had mine removed at 35 and have never looked back. I got my life back ! After 20 years of gynae problems, suddenly I didn't have to consult the calendar before making any plans. Never had to worry about blood leaking onto my clothes . It was wonderful. I'd highly recommend it.

Oh thank you so much everyone, I’m crying. I’m so grateful!

I had one 8 weeks ago
Age 37, 3 kids.
I had no choice as a smear test found cervical cancer.

However, I feel fine! It feels no different to having one and with the added bonus of no periods.
I recovered really quickly and it was all relatively pain free.

I also felt like you beforehand OP - I think it's because it's so final. A door closing firmly on the childbearing stage of life. A sort of grief. But like everyone else, I never once regretted it. They only suggest a hysterectomy if you really need one, and I've never met someone who regretted it either. And as an added bonus, sex felt much better afterwards!

Had a total hysterectomy in August. I feel fucking awesome. My energy level has shot up, I'm not in pain, I have no constant bleeding. I admit to weeping over the piles of baby clothes I took to the charity shop the weekend before it, but I'm single and 47, so that ship had sailed anyway, it was just a final hormonal splurge. Similar to pps, I do wish I'd done it years ago, but more, I wish I'd been listened to when I asked for one years ago. I feel so good it's weird, I haven't felt this well in years.

I’m not in the same situation but could well imagine feeling like you, op. It’s good to hear the encouraging stories.

My general health is quite bad, I’m always exhausted and have lots of tummy issues.

I had one at 34. Best thing I ever did. I had a rectocele and a prolapse repair at the same time. 3 small children close together and very fast labours meant I needed one.
I had a vaginal hysterectomy so no external stitches.
When I went through menopause many years later it reinforced the joy as so many friends had horrendous periods.
I can honestly say it was such a good thing.
A friend at the time said “ You might not have the cradle…but, by hell, you still have the playpen”

Do you know how the surgeon would perform the hysterectomy? Vaginally? Keyhole? C-section / horizontal? Lateral?

I had the latter. It is by far the most difficult to recover from. I do not regret it. But the recovery was long and hard. Far different from the others. And I needed further surgery.

Same message as most on here. Years of trying to get referred, I had ablation, tablets, nothing worked. I had a full hysterectomy at 42, almost exactly 6 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did.

I never felt as you do, couldn't wait for it all to be removed. I don't feel any different as a person, I am still me but I feel 100% better health wise. I am on a gel HRT now after years of tablets. Take magnesium, b vits and feel amazingly better than I did in my 20s and 30s.

I had 6 weeks off work - and needed it. You are not allowed to lift anything for the 1st week.

I had my hysterectomy at age 35 after years of gynae problems. In fact begged my consultant as I'd had so many problems for years. When he agreed I almost skipped the miles home, I had so much mental energy. I've never regretted it - in fact quite the opposite.

Good luck OP. 🌹

I had a full abdominal hysterectomy 9 years ago this month. I was so relieved when I was told I needed it. I’m child free by choice and it was definitely the best thing I’ve done. No more painful periods, no more flooding, it’s just marvellous. Recovery took months but I didn’t care, I was free.

I had hysterectomy at 36. I was a lone parent of 3 knew I didn't want anymore children like you had suffered years. Then had a series of irregular smears. So the decision was made.
I surprised myself by feeling quite sad initially as I think although I knew I didn't want anymore, I no longer had that choice.
But it was the best thing I ever did, no more hormone swings, planning my life around heavy periods etc
You won't regret it 😁

Different body parts but similar consequences. I had my ovaries and tubes removed at 42 for cancer prevention ( high family risk) when DC2 was a year old. We had no intention of having any more but it was still an emotive thing for me. I went through an immediate menopause which wasn’t too bad and have never regretted it. Risk of the cancer that killed my mother in her forties - almost totally gone. No more periods - brilliant.
I get the issue about the chance to have more children being permanently removed but I had a serious talk with myself about doing everything I could to make sure I stayed alive for my DC. Rationally I knew that annual screening and scanning might not be enough as my mother was dead 9 months after diagnosis.
My best advice is to accept that you will have some worries or a wobble but that it is the right thing to do - and then get it done.
💐

Not me, but my friend. She developed fibroids, bled constantly, couldn't even leave the house for fear of flooding or having blood leak everywhere. (It did once, and she was very distressed). After surgery, carried out vaginally BTW, she felt much, much better, no flooding, no anaemia as she was before, able to do what she wanted without having to stick close to loos etc. The difference to her health was amazing!

I had one 5 weeks ago - 2 DC, my womb had done its job and I feel so much better already. I was on injections to bring about medical menopause 6 mo this prior and was on HRT anyway, so continuing with that. Mentally I am much more stable and physically I’m flaring with my other condition a lot less, and when I do it’s not as severe.

Best thing I ever did, and I’ve been wanting one for years because of the misery of the monthly cycle. Plus had dodgy cells too so took away the anxiety of that too.