AIBU to be so sad about needing hysterectomy?

[SquarePeggyLeggy]

I’m 41, I have 3 kids, my husband doesn’t want any more, and I don’t really, but kind of do. We are getting old to do it even if we wanted to. I don’t really want to.
BUT…
I am so sad about my upcoming hysterectomy. I have dreadful birth injuries and endometriosis, my uterus is causing me trouble and has since I was 12. It also carried my babies. And this is it and it’s so permanent and there’s no going back and it’s the end of the chapter.
I feel near tears thinking about it, I’m so sad, but also it will improve my quality of life. But geez it’s getting me down.
Please give me stories where you were so happy you did it. My surgeon said without fail, his patients say they wish they’d done it years ago.

Keyhole hysterectomy aged 42 for stage 4 endo. Surgery itself and recovery was so much easier than I expected. No regrets!

I had mine when I was 36 and it was the best thing I ever did.
I've also had 3 children and whilst my husband would have probably agreed to another child I just wanted my body back by then.
No regrets at all.
Operation was easy enough although recovery was boring (I didn't enjoy resting as much as I thought I would 😂)

You know, you’re also allowed to feel sad about it. When I was discussing it with my gynaecologist, I pointed out that the ‘whip it out , don’t think twice’ approach, especially from a man, was insensitive and unhelpful. I asked how he’d feel if a woman was blithely telling him to ‘whip out’ his testicles, he’d be grand.

I had a hysterectomy at 45, I'd been putting it off for years despite having stage 4 endometriosis which had caused infertility. When I turned up to a gynaecologist appointment with my two youngest (adopted) children in tow, he announced I had no reason to put it off any longer and he was putting me on his urgent list. Six months (and many tears) later I had the operation. The endometriosis was so bad it took over four hours.

From the following day I actually felt better and over the next few weeks I started to actually feel well for the first time in over 20 years. we were able to actually plan things with the children without first working out where in my cycle I would be.

I'm not pretending there wasn't any sadness, I'd always hoped I'd be able to get pregnant and the sadness lingered. But the effect on my life was nothing short of miraculous and my main feeling was relief and a bit of disappointment that I had waited so long.

Hysterectomy at 35 after two children, over 30 years ago. Never looked back healthwise, not one regret.

Mate had one at 37. She is now out mountain biking!

I don’t at all mean to sound flippant OP but many years ago we bought a new sofa. The old one was pretty knackered and hadn’t even been new when we got it. BUT I’d fed my babies on that sofa and cuddled them and read them a million stories and watched a thousand Disney videos.

So I had real pangs about the sofa going. Obviously the new sofa was better in every respect and funnily enough all those nice memories lasted because actually (duh to me) the sofa wasn’t the important bit, it was my gorgeous children.

I’ve got a lot of friends who’ve had hysterectomy and it’s completely normal to feel sad about the end of the era but not one has a single regret. Make sure you really follow the post op rest instructions and you will be enjoying life very soon. Especially if you’ve been running anaemia for years.

Op. It changed my life.

Honestly exact same situation as you. And I now have a quarter to a third of my life every single month. I didn't realise quite how bad my life on constant painkillers was.

And all my general low level being ill wad connected to it. They have gone.

Unfortunately still succumbed to a cold but can't have everything.

Last month I went to an exercise class four weeks in a row. First time in entire life I managed that, because previously would have been in too much pain for one or two weeks.

It's amazing to simply not be in pain

Hi @MaybeaMoaner sorry to hear about you having cervical cancer. Sorry to hijack thread, but when you say your smear showed CC, had you had normal smears before? Mine is abnormal and I'm awaiting my hospital appointment but not sure if its CC. I'm terrified

I was 44 when I had mine due to huge fibroids. I never got on with the pill and by the time I had the op my periods were ridiculous and I was spending at least 1 week a month incapacitated or trying to go to work whilst losing copious amounts of blood. I was anaemic and run down. I had 2 DC both in their teens and after my second pregnancy never wanted the experience again. Although from time to time I did think what if….
The op wasn’t easy and it took me 12 weeks to recover enough to be ready to return to work.
However I haven’t looked back since and now realise I should have pushed for it earlier.

I was so so so sad at the prospect. I felt entirely fine once it was done.

Having a hysterectomy at just gone 39 was the best thing I have ever done as an act of self care, my life has improved in more ways than I even even expected and HRT is amazing! Zero regrets!

It’s the best thing that ever happened to me in terms of quality of life. I no longer have crippling periods every 3 weeks.

I had a hysterectomy at 38 due to ongoing issues & never ending pain & periods. I was absolutely ecstatic to get my appointment 1 week before Christmas & literally skipped all the way to theater! Best bloody decision I've ever made. Turns out I had adenomyosis & probably couldn't have kids anyhow.

Thank you so much everyone. My quality of life right now is pretty poor. I’m always exhausted, always have low level pain, prolapse. Endometriosis has meant my bladder has stuck to my uterus. This is no way to live.
I will try to reframe my thinking to how much better things will be!

Had a total hysterectomy in Aug at the age of 43yrs, due mainly to endometriosis. I had a good cry that even though I was certain I didn't want any more children, the choice was now permanently taken away from me. However, my quality of life has vastly improved since operation.

It sounds like you're really unwell at the moment. Please remember that illness and pain often clouds our thinking so it's perfectly natural to feel down in the dumps about this. You will feel much better psychologically when your physical health has improved. This will happen post-op but having such a significant body part removed is bound to be daunting.

She's been a friend and a foe, has Ms. Uterus. She's given you the most precious gifts in the world yet she's wrecked your life too. Think of it like a break-up. The sort of break-up where you know parting company is the best thing to do but you still have the most fantastic memories and a small part of you can't help but hanker for what might have been.

Had one at the age of 30 after fighting for 3 years not to have one in the hope of having another miracle child but it wasn’t to be.
Once I got over the shock of being told I had no time left, I counted my one blessing and 17 years later it was one of the best things that could have happened as it saved my quality of life, my sanity as well as my family.
Only regret is I with I hadn’t tortured myself for the 3 years looking for hope.