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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you eat at a restaurant that didn't serve alcohol?

488 replies

Yearn · 22/11/2021 02:40

If a restaurant served only soft drinks and alcohol-free beers/wines/cocktails would you eat there on an evening? Even on a Friday/Saturday night. No BYOB either.

YABU - Yes, I would eat there even on a weekend night.
YANBU - No, I wouldn't eat there on an evening.

OP posts:
Ineke · 24/11/2021 03:18

Depends on the food and the occasion. Wine compliments some food, with others menus, water or mint tea is fine. However, a social meal with friends seems to me to be more fun if a glass or two of wine goes down with the meal.

BasiliskStare · 24/11/2021 03:42

@keffie12 - hope I have not said anything amiss - great friend of mine is 15 years sober - not for one moment do I think there is anything weird about that. She can be around moderate drinkers - because she comfortable with that. Actually at a few sporting occasions may have encountered some more bibulous types. But no-one thinks she is weird.

keffie12 · 24/11/2021 07:34

[quote BasiliskStare]@keffie12 - hope I have not said anything amiss - great friend of mine is 15 years sober - not for one moment do I think there is anything weird about that. She can be around moderate drinkers - because she comfortable with that. Actually at a few sporting occasions may have encountered some more bibulous types. But no-one thinks she is weird.[/quote]
@BasiliskStare

Hi! No I didn't mean you. I thought I had done a quote post on the person who had either taken what I had said wrong or was being confrontational.

Pleased to hear about your friend too. Yes we can be around moderate drinkers if we are comfortable with it.

We choose not to be around anything more because why would we want to be! Its unpleasant experience when people are hammered and you aren't.

Not that I want to be hammered. Every morning starts well cos I know what I did last night.

Thank you for taking the time to response and check in 🙂

Mother87 · 24/11/2021 07:45

Yes of course

FirewomanSam · 24/11/2021 08:28

I think a lot of people like to kid themselves that they always pick a wine that compliments the food because it improves the meal when in reality 95% of people pick the wine they drink/like the sound of the most, or even the one that's cheapest, in my experience.

I agree with this. And I think a lot of people (including myself in my pre-sober days) would rather drink mediocre or even crap wine than no wine at all, so the idea that everyone chooses the perfect pairing, only drinks ‘for the taste’, or because it enhances the taste of food always makes me raise an eyebrow. I’ve yet to see anyone leave a glass of wine unfinished when it turned out to be a bit rubbish, or didn’t go with the food as well as they hoped it would, which suggests there are other factors at play in the choice to drink wine.

I have a relative who was once training to be a sommelier and he will pore over a wine list for a good 20 minutes to pick out the perfect wine to pair with everyone’s meal choices but I’d say he’s the exception rather than the rule. I always just chose the ‘house’ wine every time, to be honest, and would finish a bottle whether or not it turned out to be good.

Mommybean · 24/11/2021 08:34

Alcohol is sold everywhere from super markets, post office and now even petrol stations. I know of people that have alcohal problems and it's no fair. To have a restaurant that's alcohol free that they can take their family too would be great. Big shut out to my local Nisa they got in alcohol free beer, So my friend can join in with his pals. I would differantly drink in a alcohol free restaurant. Show our next generation you don't have to have alcohol to have a good time. You will always have people that don't no when to stop. Don't no their limit. Personnsonly throwing up, sore head, making a fool of myself doesn't sound like a great night. More achohol free places please

Would you eat at a restaurant that didn't serve alcohol?
Mommybean · 24/11/2021 08:57

Big shut out to any one that's trying to stop drinking acholol. Such a hard thing to do especially if it's became a problem. Proud of you.

C8H10N4O2 · 24/11/2021 09:12

You could have a beautiful restaurant in a great location with amazing food and an exciting soft drinks menu and still lose out to the place with the mediocre food and bad service just because it has a wine list and 30 gins

The vote is a forced binary. Its hardly surprising that if people do only go out occasionally and its a special event then yes, wine or a cocktail is part of that overall evening.

What is the market you want to capture? Every day casual diners or people who maybe eat out once a month or less often?

In terms of food if you don't want to have alcohol in the restaurant then middle eastern, south or east Asian restaurants are at least associated with teas as well as alcohol.

The tedious range of non alcoholic options in most restaurants doesn't help. Nothing that might interest a customer to try instead of wine - just the lowest common denominator, single note sweet drinks to fill a menu gap for non drinkers.

I'm sure there are some with "exciting" ranges of soft drinks but the only time I've come close to seeing one was a vegan restaurant in Oz with a range of kombuchas on the menu - complex and non sweet with recommendations to go with the different dishes. I nearly wept with happiness as usually the choice is coke, fizzy orange or sweet fruity juices which are glorified squash.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 24/11/2021 11:38

Nope.

lunarlandscape · 24/11/2021 12:05

I agree that a really interesting list of soft drinks would be such a welcome change. We went to a Sri Lankan restaurant the other day that served an iced tea flavoured with rose and cardomom and it wasn't sweet! DS and I were so happy. A good range of savoury or only slightly sweet drinks would be great.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 24/11/2021 12:09

@RaisedByPangolins

I think the point isn’t that a glass of wine with dinner is an addiction, but that even if the food in a restaurant was amazing, you wouldn’t go there because you can’t drink that points to an addiction. Once you associate alcohol with eating and don’t enjoy eating without wine then the focus has become more about the wine than the meal.

I disagree.

About ninety percent of the meals I eat involve no alcohol.

But eating in a restaurant is, in a small way, an event. It’s about the company, the conversation, the atmosphere, the rituals, the food, the wine - and I’d like all those to be part of it. So I wouldn’t go to a restaurant where one of those wasn’t even possible. Just as I wouldn’t go to a restaurant on my own, because conversation wouldn’t be possible.

Actually, the food isn’t even that high on the list. I’ve had many great evenings in restaurants where the food was quite mediocre, and quite a few dull evenings in restaurants where the food was fabulous. One of Gordon Ramsay’s springs to mind.

Alaimo · 24/11/2021 12:13

DH barely drinks as he gets terrible hangovers, even after just a single beer. I'd love to be able to go a restaurant with him where he has more options than just Heineken Zero or Coca Cola. Equally, I've been interested in trying alcohol free wines and non-alcoholic gin, but am reluctant to buy a whole bottle. I'd consider your restaurant to be the perfect opportunity to try out a few different non-alcoholic wines or spirits.

ufucoffee · 24/11/2021 13:05

No, no and thrice no.

WomanStanleyWoman · 24/11/2021 14:08

The vote is a forced binary. Its hardly surprising that if people do only go out occasionally and its a special event then yes, wine or a cocktail is part of that overall evening.

Similarly, a lot of people on this thread have said ‘Ooh yes, I’d definitely go’ - before going on to say they’re teetotal or hardly drink at all. If you really want to know if a dry restaurant could work, you need to ask ‘Would you, as a drinker, consider going?’ It hardly needs to be said that a teetotaller would go.

Hemingwayscats · 24/11/2021 14:10

Yup, done it a few times at Indian restaurants. I’m not a big drinker so doesn’t phase me.

Wtfdoipick · 24/11/2021 14:18

I voted yanbu. I barely drink but I also rarely go out to eat in an evening so when I do it is an event. I may only have 1 glass of wine, 2 at the most but it is part of the evening for me. Would I choose somewhere with mediocre food and bad service just because it served wine - no but there are plenty of places serving good food to choose from which also serve alcohol.

limitedperiodonly · 24/11/2021 14:46

I can eat fantastic food and choose not to drink.. Sometimes I do that but not often. Given that, why would I choose to go to a restaurant where I and my companions don't have the option of drinking alcohol? It's not like I have to stay away from alcohol. If I had that kind of problem I'd be drinking the free anti-bac hand gel in every shop I went in.

Soft drinks are not exciting. If I'm not drinking I have a glass of still water. Tap water will do. I'm happy with that.

I never find people pushing alcohol on me if I say I want a glass of water. What's much more common is people asking me whether I'd like a glass of sparkling water (I don't) or lemon in it (I definitely don't). The absolute worst is people pouting because they've bought a bottle of perfume which is labelled elderflower or lemongrass and ginger presse presumably because they're the kind of people who think soft drinks are exciting.

When I say I'd like a glass of cold still water, tap would do fine. It's like I'm pissing on their party.

Ducksurprise · 24/11/2021 14:56

When I say I'd like a glass of cold still water, tap would do fine. It's like I'm pissing on their party.

Completely agree with this.

MarshaBradyo · 24/11/2021 14:58

@Ducksurprise

When I say I'd like a glass of cold still water, tap would do fine. It's like I'm pissing on their party.

Completely agree with this.

I don’t feel bad. I don’t like soft drinks with food so if I’m not having wine it’s water and I do t always want sparkling.

There was a campaign to ask for tap water a while back so I don’t feel guilty

Holothane · 24/11/2021 14:58

Yes doesn’t bother I don’t drink.

RhondaZ · 24/11/2021 14:59

@GodIsAVegan

Of course. If it’s an issue to have a meal without alcohol, you might have a problem.
😂
RhondaZ · 24/11/2021 15:53

@GodIsAVegan

Bleachmycloths

Do you understand what ‘might’ means? Read the rest of my posts. For some people not being willing to go to a restaurant that serves alcohol is a sign of an issue. Like my relative, if you actually bother to read my posts. For others it’s not. Hence my sentence saying ‘might’ have an problem.

So you can pull your eyes back down to their normal position now. 🤡

I've just read your post about relative and I'm sorry about that. It is very sad.

However, I think get fed up of people on Mumnet calling people alcoholics who enjoy a drink. It comes across as being very judgy and twatty.

I realise you weren't though.

RhondaZ · 24/11/2021 15:54

Missing words where are you?

BasiliskStare · 24/11/2021 16:53

@keffie12 When friend first started her recovery - I would not drink at all if we were having a meal together in case it made her feel uncomfortable & then she said to me "Oh Basilisk have a glass of wine if you want one - I don't mind"

It would be a glass or may be 2 - not a litre of vodka

Very very many best wishes for your 18.5 years. My friend avoids people who just drink to get drunk - she is after 15 years happy to share a meal or an evening with those who just have a moderate amount . ( & Actually - I am not in recovery but I'd be the same - not interested in hugely drunk people - just boorish on the whole )

UniversalAunt · 24/11/2021 17:30

...’alcohol-free culture (Lebanese for example) ‘

Eh?
Many a fine Lebanese wine has been sloshed here.