Shit hospital care - newborn feeding

[BeastOfBODMAS]

This is long, sorry, I’ve tried to be concise

DD born Monday at 37+5 by EMCS after failed induction due to (incorrectly) predicted at

I dont understand why you expected the staff to feed your baby formula/expressed milk for you? Could you not do that?

They probably took the equipment away so others could use it.

Breastfeed if your milks come in now and it hadnt before.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene I didn’t expect the staff to give the top ups. I said that I thought the doctor said they were needed, the nurse huffed a bit, appeared with a bottle of formula and ordered me across the room while she and another nurse gave it over the crib, apparently so as not to cause breast confusion. If I was given the option/shown how I could have given the topup myself but I was not given any agency in the process.

The pump stayed in the room with me but not the breast attachment bit

I definitely wouldn’t top up with formula. Any amount of formula at this age could reduce/affect supply. Could you pump and do expressed milk top ups? This is what we did. I had a similar start with my DS, now 8 weeks. He lost 12.5% being very disinterested in feeding and then my supply dwindling. We had to give 70ml top with each feed. I ditched the top ups (EBM) as soon as he was gaining weight well, and I was confident he was taking in milk as he needed to and latched well. We gradually phased them out, but a positive side effect is that DS will now happily take a bottle, so I can pop out when I need to, knowing that he could be fed in my absence. My DD wouldn’t take a bottle and that meant I had very little freedom for a long time.

OP sounds weird about them not letting you give the top up but I'm assuming they took those parts of the pump away to sterilise? I had to ask again to get bits back as they were busy and didn't always bring it back before I needed it, understaffed.

@KatieKat88 DH brought her to me at 2h 40mins since start of last feed. I changed her wet nappy which woke her and she was back on the breast just before the 3 hour mark. She actively fed for 15 mins then dozed, the breast now feels soft and relieved. When she next stirs I’ll offer the other side.
I’m really happy with this and don’t think it needs any messing with.

She sounds like she's thriving now your milk is here and you sound like you're enjoying feeding her your milk so I'd bin the formula and just stick to that now. Congratulations

As with all medical advice it's up to you if you follow or ignore it.

It doesn't need any messing with. Every time she wakes up offer the boob and every time she cries offer it too and you'll be building up that supply perfectly. You've got this!

I think it sounds like your doing great. I have 3 children and have had breastfeeding struggles with all of them. I have learnt that breastfeeding support is mixed and woeful. You never get the same advice more than once and they're often wrong.

I would stick with what you're doing but get her very regularly weighed, every couple of days at first if possible. My third seemed to be feeding well in just the way you describe. Lots of wet and dirty nappies but it actually turned out she had lost a lot of weight and the quantity of dirty nappies (which the midwife told me was a result of me doing an amazing job at breastfeeding) was actually cows milk allergy. She had lost a lot of weight and was admitted to hospital for a week. Obviously its fairly unlikely that will happen. I just think that getting babies weighed when there has been a loss and you're trying to work out how it's going is immensely helpful.

My oldest was EBF, he lost loads of weight until my milk came in. At the 10-day weigh in the midwife said' What have you been doing to this baby, he's massive!' If LO is feeding well, and you have loads of milk you will be OK. You could try weighing LO yourself. Hop on your bathroom scales, check your weight, get your DH to hand you the baby and weigh both of you, then simple arithmetic. I do it with the dog! It works best with digital scales BTW.

Re c section fluid loss, you're on a saline drip that pumps both you and baby full of fluid. Then you both lose it after birth.

You can get your own baby scales and track her weight in your red book. Good luck!

I'll never forget the dark days (and nights) of establishing bf with dc1. Massive weight loss, plus jaundice, we were kept in for 5 days. The constant worry of is he getting enough.

My amazing mw suggested for my own peace of mind, to weigh all his nappies over 24h. Deduct the weight of dry nappies, plus the amount that is being converted to energy and actual growing, and I think you'll be as reassured as I was.

Sounds like you're doing great op.

Hello, paeds nurse here. Usually an amount per kg per day is prescribed for fluid target or top ups. Sounds like little one was having top ups of 90mls/kg/day which at around 6lbs birthweight would be 30mls 3 hourly. It sounds like the bf is going great but just wanted to add in case it helped with navigating any confusion of what happened during your admission!

If exclusively breastfeeding is the way you want to feed, yes stop the tops up. Get into bed and snuggle up with skin to skin and feed on demand/every 3 hours if not waking. You want breastfeeding fully established and formula and or breast milk via bottle will hinder this. I was in the same position with my first, abs had excellent breastfeeding support, and that was the advice given to me. This was a midwife breastfeeding specialist. Other midwifes threatened with tops up, but luckily that wasn’t something I had to go to battle on.

Sorry I wasn’t very clear about the topup amounts, they want her topped up by 90ml per 24 hours and said to do this as 3 x 30ml.
This is not an amount calculated by weight the midwife took it from a generic advice sticker she put in my book.

But if she can only fit 3-7ml topup after a feed, which even then we are forcing on her, there aren’t enough hours in the day to get to 90ml total

@MaverickSnoopy good point about getting weighed regularly
Fortunately CMPA should not be an issue for us as I’m vegan so the only source of cows milk will be the formula

(Plan is to wean carefully onto a full mini diet, DH is not vegan, she can make her own mind up when she’s old enough. Appreciate this is AIBU but don’t want to get into a vegan debate!)

*omni

Your milks come in now so just breastfeed.

However I will say your partner needs to get a grip being "terrified" because he has to sterilize things and use a syringe. Of course he's doing a lot for his partner who is a new mother and his newborn baby. That's what he's supposed to do, be supportive! My daughter and I both very nearly died when she was born. My partner said a few months later how scary it was. He never showed it at the time as he didn't want me any more worried than I was and he wanted to support our recovery as much as possible. If he was whining about being terrified to use a syringe and wash a few things I wouldn't look at him the same! Make sure he is supporting you both, not adding to your stress or making everything about him.

I’d focus on breastfeeding now. If your supply has come in and the latch is good, and the baby is asking for food, weeing and pooing 6-8 times a day, just feed on demand and things will balance themselves out. This hysteria about weight loss is not helping you. BFing has SO MANY avdantages, and it’s completely unsupported even in bf friendly hospitals.

In that case I'd carry on as you are and have very regular weigh appointments, keep a close eye on nappies too for any changes just to be cautious. Very jealous of the pain free breastfeeding as it took DD and I a good long while to figure out what we were doing glad you've got a supportive partner, it makes all of the difference. Agree with a PP, it was so helpful for us to be able to give a bottle if I needed to be elsewhere or had had awful sleep and DH could give a bit of respite, so hopefully you can take advantage of this further down the line should you want to.

Nappy output will tell you all you need to know. Sounds like you've nailed it and I'd stick to breastfeeding from now on too.

YANBU.

I do this job. The nurses sounded incompetent on the ward, it sounds like you were in a less ideal environment for it all to work for you, with little understanding and support (apart from the registrar who gave you a good feeding plan).

Great that your milk has come in!

Call that midwife and explain the latter part of what you explained to us.

The first thing we ask is - is she waking for feeds? Is she having plenty of wet and dirty nappies? At least 6 heavy wet nappies in 24 hours and and at least 2 £2 coin size stools. If so - great indication that she's getting enough feed.

Call the MW and ask for another review.

But please get reviewed.

Don't just 'stick to breastfeeding from now on' and forget about it.

Losing 13% is concerning and absolutely needs a close eye.
If there is a change from the feeding plan it really needs to be reviewed.

OP congratulations! You sound like you are doing amazingly well and it's alot on top of a section as well! We had a very similar problem with birth weight and it took 5 weeks to get back to birth weight although he did start gaining every week small amounts. It suddenly clicked around week 6 and he put on 400g in a week.
It was a very stressful time and every weigh in I became very anxious. If you are able to get some help from a lactation consultant that may be helpful they have much better knowledge than midwives and they may help you get a deeper latch for better milk transfer. Other than that enjoy your beautiful baby and trust in your body that it knows how to nurture.

I am using a bf app which gives feed reminders every 3 hours, but offering sooner if she gives any sort of hunger cue.
Im offering both sides each time.
Her latch is lovely, no pain.
Eating and drinking plenty, today I’ve had muesli with fruit & yogurt, peanut butter toast, lentil dahl, a few walnuts and almonds as a snack and a roast dinner!

They've done a shit job but you're doing amazing. Sack the formula/expressing off and do what you're doing