Melanie Sykes has revealed she's autistic

[Latenightpharma]

She was diagnosed at 51. Christine McGuiness also shared an autism diagnosis recently, and I wonder how I feel about all this. On one hand I think it's great that people like her are coming forward and are increasing representation, on the other hand I'm worried that others might underestimate how much the condition affects me (also have autism) at work because news outlets tend to report on stuff like this with an air of 'no big deal'.

To be clear, I'm not trying to suggest that Melanie or Christine are less affected by being autistic than I am, I don't know how much it affects them on a daily basis. What I'm trying to say is that someone like my boss might look at this and go 'oh, see, no big deal, do you really need accomodations to work or are you just being difficult? These people manage just fine.' AIBU?

Also

Can we not blame people getting private assessments.

The only organisation to place the blame on for this is the Torries and because of the cuts the NHS.

It a 3 year wait for assessment via the NHS. Of course people are seeking private DX.

Yanbu. I'm glad when people with Autism have successes, but it's important to remember many people with Autism find life and basic self care very difficult

@NettleTea

I can see both sides here - I think its great for some representation of women, especially older women - and I am thankful that the almost old boys club of 'its a MANS problem for MALE psychologists to talk about' seems to be cracking. But I do agree that there is a risk of the many 'celebrate it dont diss it' brigade forget that there are a huge number for whom it is not a blessing. I can understand that, especially with many more women and girls being diagnosed, that the fairly rigid criteria of aspergers and Autism, didnt cover the whole spectrum, and PDA through a whole spanner in the works, when that was also recognised. The theory being that HOW your autism affected you in different ways could be described and hopefully offer more person based support, but by chucking everybody under the same umbrella it does appear that the loudest advocates dont really want to acknowledge the people for whom life is extremely difficult. This has also been compounded by the newest development, which is the 'identify as autistic' crowd - who are all celebration and who accuse parents of extremely low functioning autism as ableism. They are pushing to remove any kind of diagnostic need or pathway, as 'they know themselves better than any psychologist' and deem psychology and its many years of clinical evidence as white colonialism and gatekeeping. I feel saying you think you MAY have autism is a whole different ball game to self diagnosis off the internet.

So yes, I am pleased more women are getting proper diagnosis. I believe we need to remember that autism (and I, and all my family have it) looks different in differnt people, and you dont know the struggles people may be having / things they avoid, yes some people can be successful with it, but likewise some people's livves are an absolute living hell for them and their families. But I really believe we need to maintain really thorough and experienced clinical diagnosis pathway open to all, so as not to allow the autistic community, and the autistic support for those who qualify, to be destroyed by people who are most likely highly abusive and narcissistic

I can as well. I do blame the media for this in part, for constantly looking for an angle for things. It's not 'sexy' enough for them to talk about severe autism, where people are non-verbal and/or have learning disabilities. So they focus on the milder end of the spectrum, where people have struggles but can generally function to some extent.

The thing is though, we need to consider both ends of the spectrum. I do believe that people with mild autism or ADHD can also struggle quite significantly in a world made for NT people. It's hard to be rejected constantly for being weird. It's difficult when you don't have decent coping strategies because no one realised you needed them - you were just late, disorganised, have poor attention to detail, struggle with social interaction, are over-sensitive to noise etc.

It is hard when people have felt inadequate all their lives because their brain processes things differently to the norm. It can be absolutely life-changing to realise it's not your fault and to find like minded people, and to learn strategies from them that can work for you.

All of that doesn't mean, however, we should ignore those who have even harder challenges and those who care for them.

@HousethatChunkbuilt

I don't think it's the case with Mel or Christine, but dare I say there is a bit of a trend at the moment for women to suddenly claim they're neurodiverse. I was at a dinner party the other day and two women were giggling about their 'ADHD' think 'oh yes it's awful isn't it when I need to do housework but just end up looking at my phone instead!' I thought 'we all do that, we all procrastinate and get distracted and think about a million things at a time'. It's a symptom of modern life! I wish they could see my dd who physically shakes when she has to sit at a desk and can only read whilst kicking her legs at hummingbird speed, who loathes school and will never be able to be in class independently without a full time aid keeping her on track. Even when I get private help they ask to stop the sessions as they can't keep her focussed. I can't help but think some of this is a bit similar to when everyone was 'gluten intolerant' or 'dairy intolerant' a few years ago. I know that it was under-diagnosed years ago but I tend to think it's over diagnosed now due to private 'gun for hire' psychiatrists.

This always comes up with spectrum disorders (which ADHD also is) and why people don't like the label 'high functioning'. Private psychiatrists certainly don't hand out a diagnosis like candy. Especially not for ADHD where drugs can be prescribed. All you heard was that one snippet and you judged them. How do you know they don't have other problems because you don't get a diagnosis solely for being distracted by your phone. Your daughter's ADHD may be severe but that doesn't mean that other people diagnosed don't struggle. It must hurt for you to see your daughter struggle and other people with the condition succeed in life but that doesn't mean they don't struggle more than the neurotypical.

Put it this way - is it sensible for someone with no limbs at all to look at someone who has lost an arm and say 'she can still walk, so she's making a huge fuss over nothing'?

I don't approve of people being hyperbolic about their life by the way - I'm perfectly aware that while I have challenges I have moderate ADHD so I'm still in a better position than your DD. However people going 'X is impaired in A, B, C and you can do all of it, so you're clearly faking it and just lazy and messy and stupid' is unfair.

I do see your point. Melanie has talked openly about how much she’s struggled with things though as well as just stating she’d got a diagnosis.

@JaniieJones see above post

the achievements of one shouldn't increase expectations on another. That's the best way I've seen it worded and I agree entirely.

It a 3 year wait for assessment via the NHS. Of course people are seeking private DX.*

Just popped in to say that it took me a year via NHS - I've just had my DX this week.

I think I didn't explain it well enough in my opening post maybe so sorry. I don't know how to feel about the way people in the public eye revealing they are autistic are being portrayed in the media. Their 'coming out story' basically.

I have no issue with them realising they are autistic or feelings about them getting diagnosed. That's great, happy for them!

What we need to remember is that for everyone who can verbalise their struggles, which is great for them and for raising awareness of their own battles, there are many other people with autism who can’t verbalise at all or who can’t verbalise their struggles. We can’t let those who can’t speak up for themselves be forgotten.

@OhDear2200 I'm sorry but it's in the psychiatrists interests to give a diagnosis as they will then get more money for the medication and see you again for more appointments. Plus the one of the main problems with the whole of the nhs is the lack on consultants. If they work privately then that makes the problem worse, so the waiting times will get longer!

House I imagine it’s because there is still enormous stigma even within the medical profession about personality disorders which has yet to be overcome.

Autism over the last few years has become better understood and somewhat less stigmatised. Not that there’s not still some way to go Ofcourse.

@Hodgehog yes that seems right but I feel that some mental illness is seen as acceptable and some isn't. Psychosis for example.

[quote HousethatChunkbuilt]@OhDear2200 I'm sorry but it's in the psychiatrists interests to give a diagnosis as they will then get more money for the medication and see you again for more appointments. Plus the one of the main problems with the whole of the nhs is the lack on consultants. If they work privately then that makes the problem worse, so the waiting times will get longer![/quote]
Ha ha ha what medication?????

You can’t medicate ASD!

@Latenightpharma

I think I didn't explain it well enough in my opening post maybe so sorry. I don't know how to feel about the way people in the public eye revealing they are autistic are being portrayed in the media. Their 'coming out story' basically.

I have no issue with them realising they are autistic or feelings about them getting diagnosed. That's great, happy for them!

OP I get what you're saying and you've seen evidence of this in the comments as well but maybe the opposite. Posters saying 'you're not as impaired as someone else, so you're making a big fuss over nothing'.

Both the women diagnosed do share their struggles though - Nikki even mentioned having meltdowns and having to go into isolation. The truth is a lot of these things can be explained away, some people succeed 'despite' it and some people are accidentally in the right environment.

There are some articles though like this one I know it's the sun but it includes other women and a paragraph from the national autistic society
www.the-sun.com/lifestyle/4105993/adult-autism-diagnosis-melanie-sykes-christine-mcguinness/

The important takeaway is that if more people realise the signs more will be diagnosed and get the help that they need. It doesn't need to even be a label or announced to everyone else but so that people understand themselves , and everybody else realises that an autistic person doesn't have a specific 'profile', so likely to believe you

@HousethatChunkbuilt but I absolutely agree with you about lack of consultants. But that is NOT the public’s fault. It is NOT their fault for seeking an assessment when the NHS is on its knees. It is the Government’s fault.

@OhDear2200 sorry I should have been clear, I was referring to ADHD

@CallMeBettyBoop you are very lucky. I know for a fact in our area it is 3 years.

@HousethatChunkbuilt oh sorry! My mistake.

Oh yes I can see you point 👍

[quote HousethatChunkbuilt]@OhDear2200 I'm sorry but it's in the psychiatrists interests to give a diagnosis as they will then get more money for the medication and see you again for more appointments. Plus the one of the main problems with the whole of the nhs is the lack on consultants. If they work privately then that makes the problem worse, so the waiting times will get longer![/quote]
They can't medicate people who don't need it- it will cause adverse effects. It's not the US system where they can order a battery of tests etc that don't actually harm the patient while giving them more money.

Also consultants leave the NHS because they're underpaid ; plus there aren't enough training vacancies. Blame the government, not people seeking treatment

I think its nice that shes got some understanding and awareness of her life and struggles now, and inspirational that she has still managed to achieve what she has, considering the statistics of autistic people in employment in general. If someones boss says to you "well Melanie sykes is autistic and fine so therefore you dont need any accomodations" - which by the way, is extremely unlikely to happen, I guess you could say well so is elon musk, but im not about to start my own space mission either.

I think its clear that with autism being a spectrum, there are people that still manage to achieve their dreams, maybe in some ways because of their autistic tenacity and traits, and then theres also people that are so disabled by it that they wouldnt even have dreams to be able to achieve. Most autistic people are neither like rain-man, nor are they like Elon Musk. Im not sure why one person being diagnosed means they are supposed to represent the entire autistic population

@Latenightpharma sorry massively derailed you thread…off to do housework now

House - I absolutely agree. Milder forms are seen as socially acceptable but severe depression and things like BPD very much are not.

I really rate this article for summarising that.

I think it would be more helpful if they explained how their autism effects them. As a previous poster pointed out they are both successful so it would be helpful to know what aspects they struggle with. There are so many spectrums. I know they don’t owe me an explanation but it would clarify their proclamation that they are autistic.

I feel like getting an autism diagnosis now is a bit like getting a mental health diagnosis a few years back, whether that is because the stigma is lessening, in which case great, or whether it is the new trend.

However, I do feel that having a bunch of rich people telling us how easy it is to get the support (specificially with mental health) when I have been sat on a list for 2 years is grating.

And like you OP, I get things like well xyz has anxiety and yet managed to perform infront of 5 billion people, makes me think people still don't understand, so I get that sometimes, the awareness aspect is not always as great as it could be