Melanie Sykes has revealed she's autistic

[Latenightpharma]

She was diagnosed at 51. Christine McGuiness also shared an autism diagnosis recently, and I wonder how I feel about all this. On one hand I think it's great that people like her are coming forward and are increasing representation, on the other hand I'm worried that others might underestimate how much the condition affects me (also have autism) at work because news outlets tend to report on stuff like this with an air of 'no big deal'.

To be clear, I'm not trying to suggest that Melanie or Christine are less affected by being autistic than I am, I don't know how much it affects them on a daily basis. What I'm trying to say is that someone like my boss might look at this and go 'oh, see, no big deal, do you really need accomodations to work or are you just being difficult? These people manage just fine.' AIBU?

I don’t know much about Melanie Sykes. I do know that Christine McGuinness has three children, all with autism, and she has long blamed herself for their condition for various reasons. It’s very common for a parent to seek investigation for autism themselves when they recognise that their own traits they see in their children could be autism.

I am sorry you are struggling to make people understand how it affects you... but I am hoping the opposite, that it helps people understand that autism can present so individually and that struggles can be hidden.

I have a child like this: amazing masking but falls apart. Getting people to understand that they need accommodations is an ongoing struggle as they 'don't look autistic'.

I am also all for the higher visibility of older women with ASC as this group may well be under-diagnosed.

I do get where you are coming from.

In one way it’s great to see people openly talking about their own struggles and how it effects them.

But on the other hand it’s another case of people then thinking “but they can so everyone with autism should be able to” and then make it even harder for those who can’t.

It’s a tricky balance because those who are seen in the public eye impact the overall views.

I get what you mean. I imagine many people with physical disabilities feel the same about the Paralympics - great to see people achieving such wonderful things, but the typical person with a disability is no more a Paralympian than a typical able bodied person is an Olympian, and the achievements of one shouldn't increase expectations on another.

I don't know who these people are (ive not got clue with famous people) but I keep dithering about an autism assessment as my dr laughed it off, but my daughter is autistic and my life is such a struggle and I think I am too. It would explain so much.

I like it when famous people raise the profile of women realising they're autistic older as it makes me hope I might get diagnosed rather than laughed off.

The one I had heard of was the author of geek girl. Not a huge surprise aftsr my daughter was obsessed with the books!

"I don’t know much about Melanie Sykes. I do know that Christine McGuinness has three children, all with autism, and she has long blamed herself for their condition for various reasons"

Melanie Sykes has a child with autism.

My thoughts when I heard this were quite similar to be honest - a real conflict.

I'm not autistic but my DS is. I really worry people will increasingly think that because some people with autism can be outwardly very successful, that my DS should be able to do the same. It feels like it minimises how tough life is for him.

But at the same time, it is absolutely fantastic to see people openly talking about being autistic and how it affects them. Especially older women.

It upsets me because, standard thinks they might be autistic woman may go to their local NHS commissioned diagnostic service and not be diagnosed because they are not impared 'enough'.
It's all put down to ADHD when really that is only the half of it. That's if they're lucky enough to have had a diagnosis of ADHD in the first place.

How can somebody who has done that well for themselves in life be 'impared enough' for a diagnosis.

I am not impaired enough for a diagnosis. I have to have massive amounts of help from family members. Don't qualify for help from Adult services, but could have quite easily had my children taken away from me due to me just finding the demands of raising young children so difficult.

I see threads on here regularly from.women wondering wether they are autistic and should pursue a diagnosis and I quite often feel compelled to tell them to go to the most expensive, highly regarded diagnostic centre that is available to them. Even if it means taken out a loan or save mg for years. When first referred to my local team a few years ago it was pre pandemic. If I was trying to get referred now I would feel out of order bothering my poor GP with something so mundane or self indulgent. I don't really think it is but this is the feeling Im getting at the moment about anything healthcare related that isn't going to immediately kill me.

Christine and Mel may be truly autistic. Whatever the hell that really means. I might be. They have been helped by their diagnosis and process. I would say I have definitely been hurt by my lack of diagnosis and even if I had received a diagnosis the process was so awful it would have still hurt me.

I may check back tonight but just as likely may not. I hope you get some more replies because I should really change my user name to onemessagewonder or some such.

I also hope no one is offended by anything I've written. I will not elaborate on anything as this has been outing enough as it is.

I know what you mean LateNight, people can't see past the 'they can do it, why can't you?' mindset. When I mentioned Chris Packham in the same situation, I was asked if I was obsessed with birds too.

WholeClass, I hope you find someone more understanding that might help you explore diagnosis further. Many can't see past the 'you can do eye contact' stereotype.

@Sleepyblueocean

"I don’t know much about Melanie Sykes. I do know that Christine McGuinness has three children, all with autism, and she has long blamed herself for their condition for various reasons"

Melanie Sykes has a child with autism.

As I said, I don’t know much about Melanie :)

But they are not managing everything ideally, that's why they seek diagnosis. What is the alternative? Are they not entitled of diagnosis? Should they keep that a secret? Should media ignore this life event of celebrities? Seing representatives in all walks of life could give hope to young autistics and help their self-esteem. Self-esteem is the most important thing in any success - big or small. It would do you good as well, if you would stop and saw the good things in your life. Being employed for the start. That's success.

@Grimbelina

I am sorry you are struggling to make people understand how it affects you... but I am hoping the opposite, that it helps people understand that autism can present so individually and that struggles can be hidden.

I have a child like this: amazing masking but falls apart. Getting people to understand that they need accommodations is an ongoing struggle as they 'don't look autistic'.

I am also all for the higher visibility of older women with ASC as this group may well be under-diagnosed.

I hope that too! I'm just worried. I did not really know who these two women were before the news reports, but I'm glad they can show a different face of autism if that makes sense, especially due to the assumption that autistic adults in the workplace are mostly men who love code.

Getting adjustments at work always ends up being a little like people looking at you and rolling their eyes behind your back whilst thinking you just need to get a grip. So I'm concerned that whilst this is great for representation, it does little about understanding.

As someone who managed a person with autism (making adjustments etc....) this would have had little or no impact on me. It might have triggered a conversation and that might have led to greater understanding for me. I have not read any articles but it might educate people.

CorBlimey exactly! I can do eye contact and have empathy therefore cant be autistic. U thought this my self for ages...

But adult women have learnt to mask and despite several very good degrees my life is a mess rather than successful and I struggle every single day.

A lot of people hear "Autistic" and think "Rainman". Isn't it better to have people in the public eye showing that that isn't always the case? It brings the "spectrum" part of the condition to the front.

Christine and Mel may be truly autistic.. Are you doubting their diagnosis?

I agree @user1478172746 and I would hope that it encourages more employers to take a chance on autistic job applicants rather than just dismissing them out of hand as well as showing young autistic people that disability shouldn't be a barrier. These two celebrities disclosing their diagnosis isn't a magic fix but it contributes to small steps being taken in the direction of acceptance and equity.

I'm a similar age to Melanie Sykes and when I was a child' autism didn't exist in the same way it does now. It was all down to being naughty or whatever. The same with ADHD - looking back, the "naughty boy" in my primary classes very clearly had ADHD.

Well it's great she feels able to talk about her diagnosis ,but it does nothing for autism awareness for those that are most severely impacted ,when they had that chase presenter ,whose name escapes me on I'm a celebrity a few years ago ,I got into Facebook discussions,with people they were saying autism definitely isn't a disability ,I pointed out that for my non verbal severely autistic son it definitely is .

Christine and Mel may be truly autistic.

What exactly is "truly autistic"?

Getting adjustments at work always ends up being a little like people looking at you and rolling their eyes behind your back whilst thinking you just need to get a grip. is it really like this or do you think you are reading it wrong? I only ask because I felt similar when I put in my flexibile working request but actually HR said at the end they were really pleased I'd asked and hoped I'd encourage others to apply.

I was really happy to see Mel go public with her diagnosis. There is still a lot of stigma around autism I'm women.

@user1478172746

But they are not managing everything ideally, that's why they seek diagnosis. What is the alternative? Are they not entitled of diagnosis? Should they keep that a secret? Should media ignore this life event of celebrities? Seing representatives in all walks of life could give hope to young autistics and help their self-esteem. Self-esteem is the most important thing in any success - big or small. It would do you good as well, if you would stop and saw the good things in your life. Being employed for the start. That's success.

When did I say that I thought I was a failure, or that there are no good things in my life? I was talking about needing accommodations and media reports about this glossing over how much it can affect you and that maybe influencing people like my boss.

I read an article about what she has been saying and I felt v pissed off. All this guff about her autism being the best thing about her and completely rebuilding the education system so children can learn in nature. She seemingly doesn't see or want to see the many people with autism whose autism has blighted their lives. I have a dc with severe non verbalautism and v severe learning difficulties and epilepsy. I don't really see his autism as a gift and the best thing about him.